Comments on: 4 Month Old Sleep Explained (sometimes 3 months too)

By: Joelle

Joelle — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 15:31:04 +0000

As I write the tears roll down my cheek. I am so tired!! My 4 month old wakes every hour and will not go back to sleep unless I bring her into bed with us and breastfeed her. But she constantly moves around keeping me awake and it seems like neither of us sleep all night. I try to put her in her cosleeper but she doesn’t like it. Of course. Some nights she will sleep in it for maybe 2 hours if I am lucky. So I can try to let her cry it out but she will not stop until I pick her up and breastfeed her. I also give her one bottle at night of formula to help her go back to sleep. I feel so bad for her and for us. We are all sleep deprived and cranky. During the day she hardly ever naps. Maybe one nap every couple days for an hour. Ikes! This just doesn’t seem normal.

By: Nara

Nara — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 13:17:44 +0000

I too have had a similar experience. Our daughter was sleeping from 9pm-7am. She is now 4 months old and for the past 2 weeks her sleeping has become more and more interrupted. She began by waking at 3am. A few days later it was 11pm and 3am. Then last night everything fell apart. She was up and crying at 11, 12, 3, 5, and then up at 7am. I only got up to feed her at 3am and the rest of the time we let her cry herself back to sleep. This took about 10-15 minutes each time. My question is, why is this happening? I don’t think she’s hungry because she’s able to go back to sleep without eating. She has never been a good napper (only 30-45 min @ a time and I always put her down awake. She’s used to getting to sleep on her own.) Should I just keep letting her cry herself back to sleep? Should I put her down for the night awake? Is she too hot? Too cold? HELP!

By: Amy

Amy — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 09:53:45 +0000

Can anyone please help. My son is 4 months old and my partner and I are like the living dead. My son goes to bed fine at about 7.30 (he’s usually shattered by this point and really wants to go to bed). He then wakes up about 11.30-12.30. I’ve tried soothing him and rocking him but he won’t stop until he has a bottle. He will only have half of it and then goes back to bed. He sleeps for about 30 mins to an hour and then wants the rest of his bottle. I’ve tried soothing him again but to no avail just screaming and sccreaming. He then goes back to bed but struggles to fall asleep properly and whimpers and fusses ( very apparent as he is in with us as we only have 2 bedrooms and my 3 year old is in the other). He then sleeps for about 2 hhours and then is awake again and crying. He doesn’t want milk but will not settle. He doesn;t open his eyes just moans and whinges until I lie him with me in bed and then he will briefly go off until about 5.30 when he cries again and wants some milk ( a couple of ounces). Then he will go back to bed til about 7. We are exhausted and I think I will have a nervous breakdown if this carrries on.Up until about 2 months we had a few occasions of him sleeping through from 9ish to 5am but this has now gone right out the window. Can anyone please help?

By: Clare

Clare — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 14:34:34 +0000

This is all sounding very familiar and somewhat re-assuring that this is a phase! My son is 17 weeks and for the last 2 weeks has ‘regressed’ from sleeping 3 to 4 hours to waking every 2 hours. Over the last couple of nights this has worsened to waking every hour or within the hour (after an initial approx 2 hour stretch of sleep from about 08:30pm). I am breastfeeding exclusively & 98% of time he will only go back to sleep through nursing, tho often I believe this is comfort nursing to get back to sleep rather than actual feeding as the feed is so short. The first few feeds I move him back to the cot but later on I am too exhausted and we end up co-sleeping. He will not take a dummy so not sure how I can help him through this, or if indeed he needs this. Three times a day he will nap in my arms for about an hour and a half – if I try and move him to the cot he will either wake immediately or anywhere after 5 to 30 minutes). I think he may start teething soon as he is dribbling a lot too.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 00:48:00 +0000

@Yvonne At 4 months, it’s typical to not have much of a schedule and have a lot of inconsistency. Some babies can do a schedule earlier, but in general, I’d follow her cues. Good luck!

By: Nicole

Nicole — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 00:43:53 +0000

@Maria Your son sounds very normal. There are a variety of sleep coaching methods that I outline in my book, if you’re interested: http://www.babysleepsite.com/ebook. I know what you mean about having a baby who gets really upset. My boys did not fuss, they screamed. They were very intense. I talk about this in my Temperament series here: http://www.babysleepsite.com/temperament/baby-temperament-sleep-intensity/ The key is finding the solution that works well for your baby and your personality, too. Good luck!

By: Stella

Stella — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 23:57:32 +0000

Yvonne, I have exact same issue like you. My almost 4 month old little girl can not stay awake for more than 1h30, sometimes just only 40mins and she was already grumpy just 20 minutes after she woke up from her nap. Like today, she had 6 naps from 8.40am until 5.30pm. The longest stretch was 1 hours and shortest was 25mins. Longest awake spell was 1h55 (once) and shortest was 20 mins (twice), the rest was 40mins. I dont know if I am demaning too much from her. She is a good night sleeper, from 6.30pm – 7.30am with 1 night feed. But in the daytime, she is grumpy, crying just after 20 mins she wakes up. I try to entertain her but I can’t do all the time. My question is: I do really want to set a nap routine for her (3 big naps a day and 2hrs apart), shall I try to lengthen her awaking time even I see her sign of tiredness? WIll it really lengthen her awaking time or just irritate her more??? Please help.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 03:01:17 +0000

@Tala Does your daughter know how to fall asleep on her own? That is usually the first key to helping her sleep in longer stretches. I am not saying she’s not suffering from reflux, but if she’s on strong medication and her sleep hasn’t improved, there is probably more going on. I’d probably need to know more about what you’ve tried but it doesn’t sound like she’s getting enough sleep at all. I hope you will consider one-on-one consultations, so we can come up with a realistic plan for you. Good luck!

By: Yvonne

Yvonne — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 21:11:14 +0000

My baby is 4 months old, breastfed. Her nap schedule is changing for the past 2 weeks. She would wake for about 45 minutes to an hour, then nap for an hour, then wake again for another hour and nap again for another hour (sometimes her wake time is between 30-45 minutes)…this cycle repeats itself basically from the time she gets up (around 8-8:30) to 6:00pm. But when she is up, she is happy. However, she used to be able to nap for at least two hours at a time. She is doing well with her bedtime schedule (around 8:00pm) though. Should I try to implement a nap schedule as well? Would that help? It would be great if she could stay up and nap a bit longer each time as I am feeding her every time she gets up, which is every two hours, but I’m not sure if that’s too much. Please advise. Thanks.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 04:06:06 +0000

@Tala Does your daughter know how to fall asleep on her own? That is a good first step to rule out why exactly she is waking so frequently at night. Waking every 2 hours at night could just be the issue of she doesn’t know HOW to go back to sleep without your help. Solve that problem and she will most likely sleep in longer stretches. Good luck!