Sibling Series, Part 3: How To Maintain Twins and Multiples Sleep and Feeding Schedules

Sibling Series, Part 3: How To Maintain Twins and Multiples Sleep and Feeding Schedules

This week’s article is written by former Baby Sleep Site Sleep Consultant, Heather Matthies, who is a registered nurse and mother of three, including twins.

Having one baby: life changing. But, having twins or multiples? Life-changing times 2 (or 3 or 8). Just like no one could tell most of us how to fully prepare for one baby, there is truly no way to fully prepare. No matter how many times you’ve organized their closet or think about all the organic baby food you’re going to make, some of the things that once seemed very important lose in priority to getting even a little more sleep, and making sure there are clean clothes and food in the house!

When thinking about sleep and feeding schedules for your multiples, it’s important to consider how rigid they will be. I never worried about an exact nap “time” with my singleton daughter, and rocked her to sleep quite often! When I brought 2 babies home, however, I learned that scheduling became my best friend! Not that every day goes as scheduled (babies can be so unpredictable, of course!). Sometimes schedules flew out the window. But having a schedule or routine provides a much-needed guide to the day. And, if you’re a planner, that’s so important for your own sanity and stability! 🙂 Now, do remember that what works for a newborn is not going to work at 8 months. Being open to change through this process can be very useful!

In the very early days, I found my days consisted of the following… Nurse, pump, change diapers, wash clothes/diapers, repeat. And the cycle continued over and over! At this point, with multiples who may be premature and take small, frequent feedings, it truly is a round-the-clock job. When they do get a bit more predictable, it is helpful to feed at the same times during the night. I didn’t learn this right away, unfortunately. One son would wake, and I would feed him… Thinking, “hmmm… maybe the other will sleep…” Usually, this wasn’t the case, of course! As soon as I’d get comfortable, the other baby would proclaim his need for a night feeding as well.

What did I learn? In the early days, if one baby is awake and it’s close to feeding time–feed everyone! Once your babies are older, though, eventually you do want to discourage more frequent night-feedings and encourage longer stretches of sleep, so I didn’t continue to do that forever.

Doing most care activities at the same time is the common-sense approach to keeping multiples on the same routine/schedule. Diaper changes, feeding, tummy time, sleep–all done in tandem. There may be times that this provides the best approach to care. I have been at this point for most of my boys’ lives. They have meals together and go down for naps and bedtime together.

There are times, however, when tandem scheduling doesn’t work as well. In these cases, it can help to stagger schedules. Staggered schedules also help if you are having trouble spending one-on-one time with your babies. It can also help to stagger schedules if one baby needs more or less sleep than the other(s), as you may often find is the case (even identical siblings truly are not identical in every way). You may put him down after your baby or babies who need more sleep or get him up earlier, if he wakes early, so he doesn’t disturb the other(s). In some cases you may want to wake the other baby/babies to keep everyone on the same schedule, but sometimes that makes for cranky babies and cranky parents! All situations will have unique details and a unique schedule.

I staggered schedules, temporarily, once I stopped co-sleeping, while the boys were learning how to fall asleep on their own, around 4 months old. I needed to work with one at a time, so this helped my efforts.

Staggering schedules, even if by only 15 minutes, is also helpful if you’re the only adult in the house. During much of my boys’ infancy I was the sole caregiver. (My husband was away in the military.) So, whether you’re a single parent, or you find yourself doing most or all of the childcare for other reasons, staggering schedules is helpful while you’re sleep coaching, and they’re learning how to fall asleep on their own. This is easier than trying to tend to more than one crying baby. 🙂 The ideal situation is to have one adult per baby or child, but in reality, this isn’t always possible. When you are in the situation of one adult per child, each adult can help teach one baby how to sleep.

Having multiples, especially in the presence of other children means that the first several months are not easy. My twins were born in October. My attempt at humor is that I don’t remember anything from at least October through December of that year. Nowadays, they’re in their own toddler beds. I can’t say that every night is perfect, but most nights and naps are. And, when I put them down for bed there is the hope of a good night’s sleep for everyone. Starting your babies out on the right path, and working towards establishing an individualized schedule that works for YOUR family helps pave the road to better sleep for everyone in your household. It is possible. So many families have come through these situations and so can you!

Other parts in the series:
Sibling Series Part 1: Do You Have Another Baby After a Horrible Sleeper?

Sibling Series Part 2: Juggling Different Baby and Toddler Sleep Schedules

Need help keeping your twins or multiples on the same schedule? We’re here to help!

All content of The Baby Sleep Site®, such as articles, e-guides, e-Books, advice, evaluative consultations, text, graphics, images, and other material contained on The Baby Sleep Site® (“Content”) are for informational and supportive purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always, always, always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding your or your child’s medical condition(s), behaviors, feeding and sleeping habits, and environment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on The Baby Sleep Site®.

The Baby Sleep Site® is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and other product affiliate programs. If you click on a product link and make a purchase, The Baby Sleep Site® may (but not always) receive a small commission from the company selling the product, but will not affect your purchase price. We only recommend products that we believe are quality products and are good for our readers.

Holistic Sleep Solutions from The Baby Sleep Site®

e-Book bundles

Do-It-Yourself: Just getting started with your research but you want to stop Googling? Choose from any of our e-book bundles for practical advice you can put to use TODAY!  

Become a VIP Member

Do-It-Mostly-Yourself: Would you like to continue learning with the option of getting answers from an expert sleep consultant? We have a perfect solution! Become a VIP Member for access to all of our premium content. This includes ALL of our e-books and bonuses, audio courses, access to our “ask the author” feature giving you answers to your pressing questions from an expert baby sleep consultant, and more!

Get a Personalized Sleep Plan

Work With a Sleep Expert: Tap into over a decade of experience with thousands of families before you! Get a Personalized Sleep Plan® just for your unique situation, get guidance and answers to all your “what if?” questions while you work through your plan, and benefit from expert support along the way. We can’t tell you how many times we’ve heard “I wish I had done this sooner!” Not sure? Read these stories from well-rested parents.

Don’t lose another wink of sleep — GET STARTED TODAY with our gentler, kinder approach to healthy sleep!

FREE Guide: Five Ways To Help Your Child Sleep Through the Night

Join over 500,000 parents for 15+ years & sign up today to receive the guide and Newzzz, our Baby Sleep Newsletter absolutely FREE!












 
Share to...