Sleep Quick Tip: Why Does Baby Wake Up Crying?
Posted by Nicole on September 9th, 2008
Obviously, babies wake up crying to eat, because they are wet or dirty (sometimes), or to have their sleep association recreated (such as replacing a pacifier), but this Sleep Quick Tip is to discuss what it possibly means when your baby wakes up crying from a nap or in the morning when they are “done sleeping” (at least you think so).
From my reading, I have not found any definitive reason as to why babies cry when they wake up, but it is normal for them to cry between sleep cycles. With my first-born, if he woke up crying, it 90% of the time meant that he was not done sleeping. He may have awakened in between sleep cycles and had trouble going into the next one. My 2nd son had a much easier time going into the next sleep cycle, most of the time, but he still whimpered a bit, sometimes, between sleep cycles.
This tip is to encourage you not to run in at the slightest whimper because crying between sleep cycles is normal and expected. Babies might not do it every sleep cycle, but they do some. I am not saying you need to allow your baby to cry-it-out, but any amount of crying feels a lot longer than it is. My 2nd son did not have as much of a luxury to be attended to at the slightest whimper because I had my older son to take care of, too. I remember when my 2nd son was around 2 months old, I was fixing my first son lunch and #2 (his name is Nicholas, btw) woke up from his nap. I couldn’t get to him right away, but was walking to his room by the 3 or 4 minute mark and my hand was on the doorknob and he went back to sleep!! I would have disturbed his nap had I been in there any sooner. Of course, at 2 a.m. 3 or 4 minutes feels more like 30, but just keep it in mind and look at the clock.
As I said before, when my eldest son woke up from his nap, crying, it usually meant he was not done sleeping (whether he went back to sleep or not was hit or miss), so if he did wake up crying at least I knew whether to run in there or not. At the very least, I gave him 5 minutes to try to fall back to sleep…that is until I nap trained him. Having said that, I know one woman whose baby, 90% of the time, woke up crying and that’s just how he came out of his sleep cycles, so it didn’t have the same meaning for her.
Does your baby wakes up crying?
Tags: babies crying, baby crying, baby crying sleep, baby nap, baby sleep, baby sleep patterns, baby wake crying, cry-it-out, crying babies, crying it out
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January 29th, 2010
Hi Nicole
I have a 13 weeks old baby boy who would start crying/screaming suddenly during his naps and night time sleep. We used to think he might be in pain (as the crying starts very suddenly) but as he is always happy and alert during his waking hours, we decided that it cannot be pain. After reading your article on why baby wakes up crying, I believe that’s the reason for his crying. Could you please advise if this will stop as he gets older or is there anything we can do to prevent this from happening? Your advice would be much appreciated as our night sleep is greatly affected by his sudden cries. He has no bad sleep association and I am sure it is not due to hunger either.
Best regards
Mei Ling
March 18th, 2010
My daughter had night terrors but she also would wake from time to time just scream for 30 sec. but than go back to sleep. After about 2yrs of age this stopped. She still had night terrors until she was 5yrs old.
My son on the other hand now is 7mo. old and wakes up each evening about 3hrs after going to sleep. He will just scream right out of no where for 30 sec. and goes back to sleep most the time. From time to time i have to go in and hold him a min and he goes back to sleep. But Normally i just stand outside his door and listen and he goes back to sleep.
They all outgrow it and i believe from my experience it happens at about 2yrs old.
March 31st, 2010
My 11month old son is FINALLY sleeping better through the night (around 7-7:30 until just after 6). We can put him in his crib awake for bedtime and naps and he’s pretty good at settling himself down. Of course we are very happy about that improvement But where he used to wake up and play or talk, he’s now waking up crying. He’s only been sleep trained for less than two weeks so hopefully he’ll start waking up happy again?
April 2nd, 2010
Is he crying when he wakes up in the morning or are these nighttime wakings? I would continue to be consistent and give it a little more time. Just continue to reassure him and see how he is during the day.
June 8th, 2010
Hi, my daughter will be 10 months old this week and sleeps horribly at night! She is breastfed. We’ve tried letting her cry it out at night, having my husband put her to sleep at night, and letting her eat and be rocked. With all these methods she has no problem getting to sleep (well she fights the crying it out, but eventually does sleep). The average night, she goes to bed around 8:30 and will wake up anytime between 10:30-12:30 and then after that is up 1-2 hrs all night long the rest of the night. I’m so exhausted from going up and down stairs and nursing her all night, that anywhere between 1:30-4am I finally can’t do it anymore and bring her into bed with us.
Based on your eating schedules, she breastfeeds more frequently during the day than what is on your schedule and eats a lot less solids and finger foods.
The Dr told us if she didn’t sleep any differently no matter what we did, to just do what was easiest and best for all of us.
Lately she’s been getting up between 7-8am, but I don’t feel like she’s getting enough sleep at night. Usually between 9:30-10:30, she’s ready for a nap and will nap for 60-90 min. Then 2-3 hours later she’s ready for another nap and it’s the same length. And some days she’ll want a smaller nap before dinner. We’ve tried moving up her bed time and this doesn’t seem to help either, she just gets up earlier. I almost prefer if she’s not going to sleep well at night, she goes to bed later, so then I can get a little more sleep.
Any suggestions….
June 8th, 2010
Heather, My son is now 7mo. old. I also have a daughter who is 7yrs old. I have done childcare nearly my entire life. I think the first thing is you need to put her to bed a bit earlier. I think you are putting her to bed to late and it makes it harder to calm down. Next when they are over tired when they go down for some reason it causes them to wake more often. your daughter doesn’t need to eat at night anymore. (unless you want her to, which it doesn’t sound like you want) Keep in mind she doesn’t need food she’s choosing to eat because she’s trained to wake up for it. (If you need to be at work at 8am and wake at 6:30am every morning after a while you wake up with out the alarm, even on the weekends. You don’t have to be awake you wake up out of habit) that is what she is doing. My first step would be to stop going in. What i did with my son was I would have the baby monitor on in our room and of course it would wake my husband if i just laid there while he screamed so i would go to the living room and listen to him yell. I swear the first night was horrible. He woke up every 20 to 30 min. and yelled for 30min. (Actually the first time he yelled for 1 1/2 hours. than gave up.) But than 30min every time from than on. I put him down on a schedule for naps. My son sleeps alot during the day. If he yaned i put him to bed. He naps 3 times a day for about 1 hr each time. (8pm, 11am and 3pm.) every day. I put him to bed at 6pm. I do the same thing every day for as long as it takes. He calmed quickly the first night and woke up less often and for shorter amounts of time. The third night was great i think he woke once for almost no time. The 4th he didn’t wake at all. Bed time should be from 6pm until about 6am. No earlier. This is from my experience with Many children. Good luck
June 11th, 2010
Hi Heather,
I can see why you must be exhausted. It definitely sounds like it’s time to start creating a sleep coaching strategy to help your daughter learn to re-settle herself back to sleep at night. Nursing her every time she wakes up creates a sleep association so that she now thinks that’s what she needs to get back to sleep. Have you been successful at trying to get her to eat more solids during the day? This could help cut down on her need to eat during the night. At this age, most babies can go all night with only 1-2 feedings. The trick for you will be to find a strategy that works for you, your family and for your daughter. I’d recommend starting with this post and reading through the series. http://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/sleep-training-from-no-cry-to-cry-series-part-1/ If you find you need more help, then I’d recommend Nicole’s book Help Your Child Sleep (http://babysleepswell.com) or one-on-one sleep consultation with Nicole. She can get an amazing amount done in just two emails! http://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/ The sooner you are able to get started on helping her learn healthy sleep habits, then the sooner you all can be back on track to better sleep!
July 6th, 2010
Hi there,
I’ve been reading all the posts here and am convinced I’m doing something wrong with regards to my 9 month old’s routine.
1st off – My son used to sleep 9am and 1pm for about 1 to 1.5 hours, with the occasional (and VERY irritatingly short) 45min naps. That meant super-early bedtimes of 530pm or 6pm (I stopped doing the 3rd nap after his 8th month, because he never seemed able to take it). These days, his 2nd nap ends by 215pm and I put him to bed by 6pm or 615pm at the very latest. He sleeps till 430am or 5am (I nurse him) and he then awakes by approx 645am.
I actually do not really think he has a sleep association problem, even though I nurse his before putting him down for his naps and at bedtime too. 90% of the time he DOESN’T fall asleep at the breast and does go into his cot awake but sleepy.
However, I wonder if his sudden loud crying after 45min of a sleep cycle has something to do with him occasionally falling asleep while nursing? That’s just what happened for BOTH naps today…And, I must add, I have been trying to delay both his naps by 15min, but it appears he can’t do that. In fact, by keeping him awake longer, could I have somewhat caused his extreme crankiness and eventual drowsiness while nursing? (*BTW, for his 45min-morning nap, I didn’t let him re-settle himself, and I noted he was clearly tired pretty soon after that nap. Anyway, I decided to let him CIO when he awoke JUST 30min into his 2nd nap. He took 10min to resettle himself and slept for another 45min).
I’m a little disturbed by the recommendations made on the Babysleepsite for 9 month old Naptimes of 10am and 2pm. Clearly, my son still needs to sleep at 9am and 1pm at the moment, with a bedtime no later than 630pm. Do I need to be concerned about this – Or is there something else I could do to stretch the times out a little and achieve a better-rested child?
Does anyone think nursing before the naps as well as in the night when he awakes after 10hrs of sleeping should be stopped?
Hmm.
Looking forward to any advice!
Much appreciation,
Karen
July 6th, 2010
Karen,
It seems to me you are doing everything exactly right. The time he wakes up after he goes to sleep and screams is where he’s changing sleeping to REM sleep. It’s normal and not unexpected. Not all kids do it but when they do it’s not a surprise. Just don’t go in when you hear he’s settling down. Give him a chance to settle down. I have figured out from my children if i don’t give them enough sleep (naps or to bed late) they wake up in the middle of the night. They will settle down but not going in is key…
July 6th, 2010
Hi Rachel,
Thanks for your reply. Hmmm, I actually have no issues NOT going in to nurse my son at 430am or so, but my main worry is that IF he is able to settle himself back to sleep (and HOW LONG should I allow him to fuss and cry till that happens?), he might wake at 530 or 6am for the day? That would certainly make all his naps earlier and earlier, wouldn’t it?
At the moment, with this one nursing session between 4 and 5am, he normally awakes between 630 and 7am for the day. At his naps line up to be 9am and 1pm. Do you have any idea if ignoring him at 4-5am might produce a super-early waketime?
Also, you mentioned that if your kids didn’t nap well or slept too late, they would wake up in the middle of the night (my son just wakes around 4 to 5am). How would you suggest I find out the RIGHT timing for his naps and bedtime? Sounds odd, I know…but I’ve been ever-so-cautious with his naps and bedtime, and experimented so many times with trying to lengthen his naps, but it always seems erratic…Sometimes 1.5hours, sometimes 45min, ARGHH! And I think his bedtime of 615/630pm is already super-early…but at a critical timing (if I make it later like at 7pm, who knows if it will reinforce his early 4am wake-ups???)
So if say my son wakes up for the day tomorrow at 645am, should I just stick with my 9 and 1pm naptimes (and just make sure I do not let him overtire BEFORE he winds down to his naps)? OR should I push the times later to see if he naps longer?
I’m obviously kinda at a loss as to what to try in order to A) lengthen especially his PM nap and B) arrive at the best bedtime.
Wonder if you or others have any more input to give?
Appreciation,
Karen
July 6th, 2010
Karen,
I’m going to try to answer things in order.
You ask how do you know how long you wait. Well when i put my son down and my daughter when she was little i make sure everything is fine before i lay them down. Now if you feed him before he goes to bed a full meal and nurse he should be good until at least 6am if he goes to bed at 6pm. So if you changed him before bed, fed and know there is nothing to harm him in there he’s good until he goes back to sleep. I am one of those parents who says there is no excuse for getting up that early. Now if he really goes crazy i will normally give in at some point and feed him so he will sleep longer. That to me is a sign something is wrong if he gets Hysterical. Normally Hungry and for me I would up how much is being eaten before bed the next night to help him sleep longer.
6 to 7am is a normal rise time but if he’s waking and hour earlier i would have to assume he’s hungry and should eat more for dinner the night before.
From my experience going to bed later doesn’t get them up later. (more than one morning) It producing an over tired child because they go to bed later but their body alarm wakes them at the same time. so they just end up tired. My son at this time takes 3 naps. One at 8am for about 45 min. One at 11am for about 1 1/2 to 2hrs. than again at about 2:30 or 3pm for another 45min. than bed at 6 or 6:30pm.
My daughter on the other hand by this age took two naps that were longer. So it depends on the child. But from my experience you son might need 3 naps that are short not 2 longer ones. Children will sleep the same amount of time at naps even if you cut one off so if you take one away they are just loosing sleep the ones they take won’t be longer until they are ready and do it on their own.
I am REALLY BIG on sleep and naps for kids.
If my son slept in i would push it nap a little later but not much. 20min or 30 min.
One thing you need to know is you don’t lengthen laps the child does. If you drop a nap in order to do that you are just taking sleep time away and causing them to be tired earlier and sometimes even causing them to wake at night when they wouldn’t otherwise.
rjaffeux@hotmail.com
thanks for reading Rachel Humphrey
July 16th, 2010
Hi Karen,
Rachel has given you some good advice here. The schedule posted on this site for a 9 month old are suggested times and aren’t expected to be same for everyone. It sounds like your son has his naptimes set that work for him and I’d stick with those for now. I also think his bedtime sounds appropriate for him. That’s what works for his body clock. I don’t see that you’re doing anything adverse to his overall daily schedule or sleeping habits. At this age, it is not uncommon for a baby to need to eat 1-2 times per night. A feeding at 4:30 or 5 am would not seem inappropriate. He has been in bed by this time for 10-11 hours and he could very well be hungry. If he goes back to sleep afterwards and wakes up around 7, then I’d say he’s doing pretty good. 45 minute naps, while not preferred by mom or dad, are not uncommon. Sounds like letting him resettle if he wakes at the 30 min mark worked to help extend his nap. What’s important overall, isn’t that his schedule is the same as what’s outline, but how much good sleep is he getting per night (which sounds like it’s pretty good) and how much total sleep he’s getting during the day. If he’s a happy baby overall with this schedule, then it’s find to stick with it.
July 16th, 2010
Thanks for your input Rachel. Your contributions are much appreciated.
July 27th, 2010
My 20 month old girl always wakes crying/fussing. It is an odd moment if she wakes talking to her toys in her crib or calling for either mama or papa. I think this is just her norm.
When she night wakes (early AM), we try and let her fuss herself back to sleep but typically after a few minutes she has fully woken herself and we go in with an AM bottle, quite time then back to bed for hopefully a few more hours.
I think some kids are just resolved to fuss when they wake. I know my husband is fussy when he wakes and since she is basically his clone we are stuck with it for now.
July 28th, 2010
Our baby boy is just one month old. After breast feeding he goes to sleep but is difficult for him to go in to deep sleep if we put him in his bed immediately. He also prefers to sleep beside his mom or me to sleep continuously. I observe recently he also want to have bit bigger pillow than we bought for him, putting him in lateral inclined position is much helpful/comfortable to sleep longer. He is our first baby boy and we do not have experience in supporting our baby to sleep deeply. At the same time we do not want our baby to extremely scream unusually. When he cries at the middle of our sleep we picked him without preparation and I am afraid he may be hurt some day as some times we are not totally waked up from sleep. We almost always give him breast to make him quite and fall back to sleep thus he has fed breast continuously that might be over dose. We would like to know how long or in what interval should a baby suck breast milk??????????
July 30th, 2010
My son is now 8.5 months old, he was always a terrible sleeper!! When he started solids at 6 months I thought for sure he would start sleeping better but he didn’t, he was still waking up every 90 minutes! I finally realised that I was he sleep association and that when he was going through sleep cylces he was looking for me to put him to sleep. I went from on demand feedings to parent led feedings (feeding every 2-3 hours throughout the day), as well as nursing him and waking him up to put him down.
Now I put him down when he is tired without nursing him if it isnt time for him to eat. He is now napping 3-4 hours during the day and 12-14 hours at night. He still tends to wake up once or twice at night when he needs some help getting back to sleep with a pat on his back, but I am sure he will soon sleep through the night without waking (unless he starts teething again).
When he wakes up crying from a nap it usually means that he is NOT done napping, when he wakes up with other sounds he is alerting us that he is awake and ready to play (he doesn’t like being alone).
Listen to your motherly instincts, advise of others and teach your child how to sleep since we weren’t blessed with ‘natural sleepers’. we are all so much happier since we have a happy, rested baby!
August 2nd, 2010
My son is 18 months old now. I read almost every book out there about sleep because I was almost at my wits end until he was about 11 months old, which is when he started to sleep through the night (most nights). What finally gave me a change of perspective was keeping a sleep log for him for about 2 weeks. That information gave me very clear insight into his sleep needs. He didn’t/doesn’t fit into any of the models I read about in the books, but it is what works for him. He is also a very happy outgoing boy, so I am not concerned that not following the textbooks is compromising him/resulting in him being over-tired. I know how hard it is when you’re in the middle of tough sleeping patterns, but I also learned that before you know it, that changes (and something else comes along with their development!). If I have another child, I intend to try my best to be more relaxed about his/her sleep, especially for the first year. Not every child fits the molds of the books, and I think parents need to trust their instincts and what feels right to them. To all the parents suffering from sleep deprivation, I sincerely sympathize. You will be through it before you know it, though it may not feel that way now.
August 7th, 2010
Hi Andualem,
At one month old, it’s generally expected that baby will be feed every 2-3 hours on demand. As far as his sleep goes, you can generally expect that babies will wake often and starting any kind of sleep training isn’t recommend until at least 4 months of age. I’d recommend that you read this post about night feedings for a better idea about how much baby might eat at night. http://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/night-feedings-by-age-when-do-you-night-wean/ Then, I’d also encourage you to read through many of the other posts on this site for additional information that will help you understand your baby’s sleep needs as well as suggestions for how to help teach your baby healthy sleep habits. It sounds like you’re doing a great job so far.
August 7th, 2010
Thank you Jennifer and Jo for sharing your insights and stories. It’s so helpful to other parents to know that achieving good sleep is possible even when it seems so far away!