Comments on: Will Cry-It-Out Change Your Baby / Child’s Personality?

By: Slorton Macklson

Slorton Macklson — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 07:48:02 +0000

Hiya I am having issues finding some healthy natural sleep aids. Any tips on a solid supplement to purchase ??

By: Warren

Warren — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 19:12:51 +0000

I’m glad I stumbled upon this article. My wife is currently pregnant, 7 months, and she just recently read about The Ferber Method, and expressed her interest in trying it. Frankly, I’m not sure if I want to, despite the benefits it seems to bring.

While weighing the pro’s and con’s of it, I never thought about whether it would change the personality of my soon-to-be son. I am going to send this to her to read over the comments. Thanks for the info!
Warren´s last blog ..Natural Remedies for Colic in Infants

By: Nicole

Nicole — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 04:06:41 +0000

@LRM When a baby has a schedule problem, no amount of crying will really help. If she’s not sleepy at night, she’s not sleepy at night and no amount of crying will change that. The key is to change the schedule so she’s sleeping at the “right” times. Sometimes this requires waking baby but there are different strategies to do it. Obviously you can’t just keep her up because she’ll be cranky and tired, so a slower transition is best. Hope this helps and good luck!

By: LRM

LRM — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 07:41:37 +0000

Thank you so much for a down to earth site I can come to for help! My 12 month old dd will sleep from 6 to 12 in the afternoon and takes multiple naps each day…it’s basically draining my dh and I. We need to switch her schedule around and I am going to try this method to see what happens…I will keep you posted!

By: Taking the Cry Out of Cry It Out | Baby Sleep Help | Toddler Sleep Help | Custom Sleep Help - Pick Nick's Brain

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 12:46:16 +0000

[...] sleep support whether I would have avoided our tears or not. I never regret it, I know it did not change my baby’s personality, and I guess we will never know, but I’m fortunate to be able to use my knowledge in my quest [...]

By: Nicole

Nicole — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 18:37:34 +0000

@Chin My first is/was spirited, too, and my second is more spunky. For me, my decision came from the fact that my son was miserable and cranky without enough sleep. He needed sleep so desperately, but fought it a lot (and still does to a degree, but not as much). Once I knew he knew HOW to fall asleep, it became a decision between giving him what he “wanted” (i.e. allowing him to fight sleep) or giving him what he needed (more sleep). For us, it became a choice between some tears and less sleep, and the latter simply was a really bad option. My second has never fought sleep as much as my first. When he’s tired, he’s eager to go to sleep and waves bye-bye to go up for a nap. He hasn’t been a perfect sleeper, but definitely much easier. I’ve never regretted my decision, especially seeing the little boy in front of me now, still very sensitive to not getting enough sleep, and knowing he has become a very well-adjusted, loving little boy. He needs firm limits in many areas and sleep is still one of them. We simply had to start early with the limits, that’s all. I wish it were easier for all of us, Chin! (((HUGS)))

By: Chin Li

Chin Li — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 09:31:01 +0000

Hi Nicole,

I am just drafting and email to you and got side tracked here… reading your article, you said you chose the cry it out method for your first son. How did you come about making this decision?

I do recall you saying he had a spunky character. Our guy is definitely spirited and he WILL not stop crying if we allow him. Whether at bed time during the night, he is most unlikely to settle himself once the crying gets going. Hence, this guy being our first child, I do wonder how one comes about a decision to let their babies cry. Am just super curious… I wish it were easier for us!

By: Nicole

Nicole — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 02:08:17 +0000

@Xochitl Many people continue swaddling past 6 months so there is no “rule” that says you had to stop swaddling, but they do start to get big for the swaddle, too. By now you are past this, most likely. I know it takes me awhile to respond to all the comments. So many e-mail and helpdesk requests, which is great! But, comments do suffer. I hope you found a good solution as there are things to try before resorting to cry-it-out. Hope all is well! Good luck!

By: Xochitl

Xochitl — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 15:38:31 +0000

Hello. Nicole, I admire your gentle, kind, gracious advise both on your blog and book. I have a 6.5 month VERY playful boy. For a month he was sleeping great. I would get up and reswaddle him once. People give me a hard time for still swaddling him, but he likes it. I started calling it “tucking him in” so I would be left alone about it. He’s on the bigger side, so I’ve had to come up with some crafty ideas. He then got sick twice and cut 4 teeth, which created a once happy boy a very fussy one. He is better now and handling teething much better. Your site helped with napping! Thank you. I thought I would like to stop getting up and rewrapping him as I believe he is very capable of learning. He has fallen asleep without being wrapped but prefers not to. The past 2 nights I’ve tried letting him cry. 1st night he cried 1 hour & 15 min, which was torture for me. Last night he cried 2 hours until 6:30, which is when he normally wakes. My husband stayed up listening to him and I slept with ear plugs. The decision was made with me sleep deprived. When I went in his room he was playing in his crib, which is what he does when really tired. SUPER playful, which doesn’t sound bad, but I know my son and know how miserable that feels. I am the same way. He has stayed awake entire days, when I tried carrying him all day. He does eventually fall asleep, but wakes himself up screaming.
Today I feel guilty, I feel physically great! I had a full night sleep at the expensive of my soon & husband (both asleep right now). I wonder if I should can the whole thing and just get up to rewrap him. If it’s just once, I don’t mind. But it started becoming every 2 hours. Last night he woke up at 4, which I think he would have lasted until morning. I’m wondering since he’s napping better (I don’t wait until tired anymore, since he is so playful) he might naturally start sleeping better at night. Sincerely, guilty & well rested.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 02:06:43 +0000

@CM I am very happy you did not listen to your critics either! I am always so sad when people aren’t supported of their decisions on how to raise THEIR baby! Let me tell you, we did do some cry-it-out and my son is still “clingy” as you say and looooves his mommy! Very attached to me and some might call him a “momma’s boy” so there is no telling that even if you hadn’t co-slept, anything would be different. They are who they are. My 2nd is more independent and it’s just how he is. It’s just part of his personality.

((HUGS)) on everything you have gone through, but I want others reading to know there is a LOT in between co-sleeping and the sleep-deprivation you have gone through and don’t-go-in-all-night-cry-it-out. I don’t typically ever recommend a method of not going in at all all night! And, when I define cry-it-out on this site, I don’t mean that (everyone has their own definition). Not many parents want to do that or can do it. There are other things to try that might work for your children, so you don’t have to sacrifice who you are as a family, but you also don’t have to be sleep-deprived, either. There are many methods out there and I hope you can find one for you and your family. After all, just as you are sleep-deprived, so are they and I think we ALL feel better on a good night’s rest! I’m glad your son is doing so well with his surgery and I hope he continues to improve every day. Good luck!