When Baby Sleep Books Contradict Each Other

When Baby Sleep Books Contradict

When it comes to baby sleep books, it’s safe to say that we know a thing or two. We’ve read them all, from Ferber to Weissbluth to Karp – for us, it’s research! And while lots of those baby sleep books have helpful bits of wisdom here and there, here’s the thing that we have learned over the years, from reading every baby sleep book we can get our hands on: they often contradict each other.

Have you noticed this, too? If so, then you’ll appreciate this article, about what you learn when you read all the baby sleep books. This is one of our favorites – it’s hilarious! And, it is sooo true! So many of the books say something different, whether it’s to cry or not let them cry or to co-sleep or not. It’s tough to make sense of it all.

One-Size-Fits-All Sleep Advice Doesn’t Work Well; Personalized Sleep Advice Does

And, really, it simply reinforces that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to helping your baby learn healthy sleep habits, just like there isn’t just one type of discipline that works with every child. Even with children within the same family, their needs (whether it’s sleep needs or not) vary a lot. This is why you sometimes have to be ‘unfair’ when it comes to sleep. When my sons complain that something is different for them, rather than try to make everything equal and fair (which is impossible), I tell them “You are two different people and what’s right for him may not be right for you.”

Baby Sleep Help Resources For You

Parenting can feel like a puzzle, sometimes, trying this piece or that piece to try to find the right fit, but once you do, it really helps your child thrive. Have no fear, we have several articles to help you try to find the right philosophy for you. Here are a few of those articles:

Is Co-Sleeping a Solution for Baby Sleep Problems?

Can You Mix Attachment Parenting With Sleep Training?

Why Pantley’s No Cry Sleep Solution Doesn’t Always Work

Taking the Cry out of Cry It Out

Will Your Baby Be Spoiled If You Don’t Sleep Train?

Ferber or Weissbluth?

Dr. Sears vs. Dr. Weissbluth

Warning: Babywise May Not Be For Your Baby

How to Avoid Common Babywise Pitfalls

How Crying Can Lead to Babies Sleeping

Will Cry It Out Lead to Prozac for Your Baby?

Will Cry It Out Change Your Baby’s Personality?

You Know Your Baby Best!

In the end, you know your baby best, not some author of a book. Remember, there are different learning styles, so that will include your baby learning in different ways, too. The challenge is that sometimes your parenting philosophy and your baby’s temperament don’t go hand in hand and that often leads to a lot of frustration on both your parts.

If you are too bleary-eyed to read all of these articles and the baby sleep books out there, maybe you just need someone to help you find your way. Sometimes you are just too close to your own situation or too tired to come up with a plan. That’s where our personalized sleep consultations come into play! (In fact, I think the author of that funny article above may have benefited from one.) Our consultants will take your family’s goals, your parenting philosophy, and your child’s temperament into account before creating your Personalized Sleep Plan™. Then, your consultant will support you as you work to implement the plan at home.

Interested in personalized sleep help? First, browse our list of consultation packages and see which package is the best fit for your unique situation.
Browse our list of consultation package options here.

Once you make your choice and purchase, you will immediately receive an e-mail with your Helpdesk login information. You’ll be able to login and start your Family Sleep History form right away – it’s that simple!

Want more information about how personalized help works? Check out our FAQ page here, and get answers. You can also take a tour of the Helpdesk.

Which baby sleep books did you read? Did it drive you crazy or did it help you find your solution? Share your story!

  • Feel like you can handle sleep coaching and swaddle transitioning on your own, but want to prepare? Why not take a look at our 3-Step System To Help Your Baby Sleep? Available in three affordable packages, this book is designed to give you practical, hands-on tools you can use to help your baby learn to fall asleep on his own, and stay asleep (and stop fighting bedtime!). For toddlers, try The 5-Step System To Better Toddler Sleep. Are naps a struggle? Check out Mastering Naps & Schedules, with over 45 sample schedules included. Best of all, all three books are available to download instantly – you can put them to use as early as tonight!
  • Want an abundance of resources to help you in your sleep coaching? Consider becoming a Baby Sleep Site Member. Our Members Area is packed with exclusive content and resources: e-Books, assessments, detailed case studies, expert advice, peer support, and teleseminars. It actually costs less to join than buying products separately! And as a member, you have access to a once-a-week chat with one of our expert sleep consultants – ideal for those times when you need some expert advice! And the icing on the cake? Members enjoy 20% off all sleep consultation services. That savings alone can pay for the cost of membership!


  1. Lee Anne says

    I struggled with many conflicting viewpoints on sleep as well prior to finding The Baby Sleep Site and Nicole. I have Weissbluth’s book, which is great, but not 100% suited to a baby that isn’t ‘straight forward’. Sleeping through the Night is another one I read, and many friends shared advice from the Baby Whisperer. Not to mention countless websites and blogs that I searched through! There were too many questions that I didn’t have answers to, no matter how long I spent searching or what books I read. I am sure I was in the same boat as a lot of other people and took away many different great little tips from each book, but nothing that I could really piece together as a ‘plan’ that I knew would work for my little one (who had his own challenges that none of the books seemed to address). I tried and tried what the books suggested only to come out frustrated and doubting myself that I was doing the right thing for our son.
    We are well on our way now after finding Nicole!

    This article made me smile as it sums up the different viewpoints so well, with a sense of humour of course!


  2. says

    @Lee Anne Thank you for commenting. That article was really funny!! :) I’m so glad you and your baby are flourishing with the Sleep Plan. You’ve been doing an awesome job and should feel very proud! :)

  3. Jill says

    This article is AWESOME! So funny…and clearly shows how there is no one answer to the dilemma of helping your child sleep. I read a couple of books and they made me feel like a terrible parent for doing it ALL WRONG. They were immediately thrown out and though I often don’t have the answer I am better off not turning to a book for advice. Particularly since my son leans toward being a spirited child, and much of the mainstream advice doesn’t recognize this as being a thing. Nicole, your approach has been of the most help – simply knowing I am not the only one who struggles is priceless.

  4. says

    @Jill I agree wholeheartedly that the “spirited” kids are left out of the equation in many books. I’m so glad to have been here for you and all the other parents who struggle with feeling alone, too! :) Thanks for commenting!