Posts Tagged ‘newborn won t sleep’

When you were pregnant, you probably took great care in designing your baby’s nursery and carefully selected the best items for your baby registry. One of the most important things in the nursery is your baby’s crib. After all, she will sleep in her crib for 2 to 4 years, right?

Unfortunately, for some of us, sleeping in the crib is just a nice dream. After you had your baby, you might have purposely decided to keep baby in your room in a co-sleeper bassinet and imagined transitioning her to her own room and crib around 6 months old when she was sleeping through the night. When she turned 6 months, you might have learned it’s not that easy to transition baby to sleep in her crib and I’m here to help!

One thing I want to emphasize is that only some people can sleep anytime, anywhere. My husband happens to be that way (as I’m typing this, he just started snoozing on the couch next to me). Only some of our babies will sleep in a stroller (my boys are NOT among them!) and only a few will transition to sleep in a crib without a hitch. For three days my younger son slept in a Close and Secure Sleeper in our bed and then we put it into the crib and it was an easy transition. My older son (who inspired this site) was not so adaptable, which is why I did make a whole site about baby sleep.

When your baby is a newborn, she might not sleep in her crib because it’s far away from anyone who she seeks comfort from, mommy and daddy. And, it might seem too big compared to the womb, especially if she isn’t swaddled.

Months later, now your baby won’t sleep in the crib because it’s the equivalent of you going to sleep in the guest room. It is only her bed because you said it’s her bed. Your nursery might be beautiful, but to her, she may as well be in a different house when she’s trying to sleep in “her room”. Some adults can’t sleep well in a hotel (even the nice ones) for the same reason: It’s not your bed.

Once again, sleep associations come into play in how your baby knows how to fall asleep. Does she need to move to sleep (via rocking chair, bouncing ball, or bouncy seat)? Does she need to suck to sleep (via pacifier, nursing, or bottle)? And, is she in a comfortable place to sleep? Up until now she hasn’t slept in her crib, so why would that be a comfortable place today just because she turned 5 or 6 months old?

How to Get Your Baby to Sleep in the Crib

The #1 goal in helping your baby sleep in the crib is to make it feel like HER room and HER bed. Here are a few tips you might consider:

• Consider putting YOUR bed in HIS room for a few days.
• Make sure you spend non-sleep time in HIS room
• Have him sleep on his own crib sheet for a few days, so it has his scent
• YOU sleep on his crib sheet for a few days, so it has YOUR scent
• Give it time. Don’t expect it to go perfectly the first day. It might take a few days to a couple of weeks, but the first few nights will most likely be the most difficult. Expect it to be rough and he might just surprise you, but do expect it to take work. Only some will have an easy transition.

One thing you want to do is make sure your baby knows how to fall asleep on his own, FIRST. Otherwise, you are simply going back and forth from your room to his all night, instead of reaching over a foot or two (or if you are co-sleeping, maybe just a few inches). Even if your baby is sleeping great in your room, if she has trouble adjusting, make sure you are sensitive to the fact that this is a new place for her and don’t just let her cry it out. Some babies actually sleep BETTER, immediately, once they are in their own space, not smelling Mommy’s milk or hearing Daddy’s snoring all night long.

If you need help in getting your baby to sleep, please consider our 3-Step System to Help Your Baby Sleep e-Book (plus bonus materials) or our baby sleep consultations, where I will work with you on a personalized sleep plan that you can feel good about for your unique baby and your unique situation.

How Did You Get Your Baby to Sleep in the Crib?

Two of my neighbors and my best friend all had babies within just a couple of weeks of each other less than 8 weeks ago. All of them have commented on the sleep deprivation that goes along with having a newborn and one asked me when my babies started sleeping through the night. First, I always need to ask what that means to someone because, for some, they mean to have a baby sleep through the night, including feedings, and others mean sleep straight through 10-12 hours, with no feedings.

What does it mean to have your baby sleep through the night?

For me, “baby sleeping through the night” meant my baby sleeping 10-12 hours without feedings. It was around 4 months old, with both breastfed sons, that they started sleeping pretty much straight through with two feedings at night, so I couldn’t really expect much more than that. Sleep was not perfect (particularly with my eldest son because why else would I have a whole website about baby sleep?), but it was ten times better once I changed their sleep associations with needing to breastfeed to sleep or be rocked to sleep all night long. Of course, that’s the trickiest part of this crazy thing about getting babies to sleep and why it’s never a simple answer or silver bullet (oh how I wish it were! I’d e-mail everyone my silver bullet RIGHT NOW!).

One thing I know for certain is regardless of whether you think of “sleeping through the night” is with or without feedings, it can feel like your baby will never do it. If it’s not one thing it’s another. If it’s not a feeding, replacing a pacifier, or rocking her to sleep, it’s cold in her room. If it’s not cold, maybe it’s hot. If it’s not temperature, your baby is now teething. Later on, with your toddler or preschooler, it might even be night terrors or nightmares. You will think of a million reasons about maybe WHY she isn’t sleeping through the night and you might seriously start feeling like it’s a pipe dream that will ever happen.

When Will Your Baby Sleep Through the Night?

Obviously, I can’t really look into my crystal ball to tell you when YOUR baby will sleep through the night (I save the crystal ball for winning the lottery, but for some reason it’s on the fritz right now), but I can tell you that I’ve heard it all when it comes to doctors telling parents when their baby shouldn’t need anymore night feedings and should be sleeping all night. I can also tell you that parents who are skeptical that their 3-month old breastfed baby can go without any feedings for 12 hours per night, you should be. 12 hours is a LONG time, even for many adults and if your baby is breastfed, she will likely need to eat at night a bit longer than her formula-fed friends.

But, when I hear about 12 to 18-month old toddlers who still need a bottle (or 2 or 3) per night or aren’t sleeping all night, then I say there is action to take IF you want a baby who sleeps through the night. If you are fine with co-sleeping or feeding your toddler at night, then there is nothing much to worry about except the effect on the teeth without brushing and how it can lead to bottle mouth syndrome, in some cases.

The short answer is that NO ONE goes off to college needing a bottle in the middle of the night (at least that I know of), so don’t worry about it “never happening” (same for potty training, by the way, as I never saw anyone in the dorm still wearing diapers).

The not-so-short answer is that if your definition of sleeping through the night is with feedings, your baby can sleep fairly well through the night by 4 to 6 months, usually, on average. If you mean straight through without feedings, most can be night-weaned by around 9 months, sometimes as late as 12 months or beyond. The “experts” all vary:

• Dr, Sears (The Baby Sleep Book) says night feedings are normal up through 18 months or more.
• Pantley (The No Cry Sleep Solution) agrees.
• Weissbluth (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child) says it’s normal for babies to need 1-2 feedings up through 9 months, and can then be night-weaned.
• Kim West (Good Night, Sleep Tight) agrees.
• Ferber (Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems) says a baby can go up to 8-10 hours without feeding by 3 months.
• Baby Wise agrees.
My pediatrician and yours would probably say something different, too.

This is why reading all of these different opinions made my head spin and I wrote my own book on baby sleep (to save other parents time and money). No, I don’t have THE answer. I actually keep the option open that YOU have the answer! Surprise!

If you think your baby or toddler is waking out of habit, then he probably is. Even if you think he is truly hungry, you might have the confidence that if he would just eat more during the day, he’d be able to sleep all night (I recommend at least an attempt at night-weaning once you feel this way). If you believe your baby or toddler “needs” to eat just to fall asleep and not because he’s hungry, then teach him how to sleep without eating. You know your baby best and the key is not to have the answer (believe me, there is not ONE answer for all of us), the key is to have the tools to teach your baby to sleep independently and when you have your tools, sleeping through the night will naturally follow when your baby is truly ready.

When did your baby/babies sleep through the night?

When you bring your baby home no one tells you that “sleep like a baby” only lasts a short time. This article will give you 10 tips to help your newborn sleep better.

Disclaimer: Before I get to the 10 tips to help your newborn sleep, I thought I should note that it can be dangerous for a new newborn baby (just a few weeks old) to sleep all night. They really do need to eat at least every 3 hours in those early days so they can grow well and thrive.

It is also safest to place baby on his back to sleep, to guard against SIDS. You may be interested in other ways to lower SIDS risks.

There, now that I got that out of the way.

Newborn Baby Sleep

1. Short Wake-time

The first week or so, your newborn baby will most likely hardly be awake, but after the first week or two, the #1 key with your newborn is to keep wake times very short, at first. You should soothe your baby for sleep after just 1-2 hours of wake time TOPS. You should look for signs that she is getting sleepy and start soothing her. If you wait until she is fussy, cranky or crying, you are actually too late!

An overtired baby will have more trouble settling down and going to sleep and staying asleep. My boys always fell asleep easiest when I caught them before they started to fuss and cry. Some babies are much more sensitive to being overtired than others, so while others will barely notice their child get sleepy before she drifts off to sleep, others will begin to realize just how in tune with their baby they need to be!

By wake time, I mean to include feedings and diaper changes and disregard how long her last nap was. For example, little Suzie starts to nap at 8am and sleeps for 3 hours. She eats at 11am and you change her diaper. Now, it’s 11:30 and you decide to give her a bath. At 11:45, she is fussy. She is already overtired and she needs a nap! In the beginning, they can’t go long before getting tired and overstimulated.

2. Swaddle

To help mimic the feeling of the womb, it helps to swaddle your newborn baby. This basically means to wrap him up in a blanket like a little burrito. You may have seen them do it at the hospital. This helps him feel safe and secure and also helps him stay asleep during any moro reflex or startle reflex moments. It is said that those reflexes are similar to how we have the feeling we are falling while falling asleep. It can take up to 4 or 5 months for your baby to stop the startling.

I recommend The Miracle Blanket for swaddling. It is a little pricey, but so easy to use and so hard for your baby to break out of! So worth it, to me! If you can’t or don’t want to spend that much, try this SwaddleMe Wrap

3. Days bright / Nights dark

Although you might be tempted to keep things quiet and darker for your newborn to nap well, it might prolong the day/night confusion that almost all newborns will have. Day/Night confusion can last up to 6 weeks. When she was in mom’s belly, mom’s movements lulled her to sleep and when mom was resting, she’d have a party. When she comes out, she doesn’t know she should act in the complete opposite fashion.

So, keep days bright and upbeat and nights, dark and boring, and it will help your newborn sort out her days and nights faster. This might be more than you want to know, but light is what cues our eyes to tell us to stay awake or whether it’s time to sleep.

4. Limit naps

If he is taking longer to sort out days and nights (or you are having a very rough time keeping up with him being up all night), you can further speed up the process by limiting naps to no longer than 3 hours during the day.

5. Post-feeding routine

To help your newborn baby sort out day and night sleeping even more, you may want to develop a play routine after she eats during the day. Keep her awake 30 minutes after feeding by playing, singing, bathing, etc. Again, the light stimulating her eyes will help her sort out that daylight is for being awake at least a little bit. Many people recommend the eat-play-sleep routine for newborns. This is the primary message of the popular book, On Becoming Baby Wise. You might want to review my explanation as to why I do not recommend this book, though.

6. Co-sleeping

Sometimes it helps to have your newborn in the room with you for quick access for middle-of-the-night feedings and diaper changes. This also can help give him more comfort being close by as he will be able to hear and smell you. For safety reasons, you should use a Co-Sleeper , sleep positioner, or bassinette, rather than have baby in bed with you. I used the second one with my second son and then I moved it into his crib for a seamless transition to his crib. We were able to remove it a few weeks later.

7. Angle the mattress

For babies who spit up a lot or have reflux, it helps to angle the mattress when he sleeps, so baby is not flat on his back. You’ll want to angle the mattress so his feet are lower than his head, so his stomach contents can stay put. To angle the mattress, you can simply change the support platform level on one side on most cribs. If that is not feasible, you can put blankets and pillow under the mattress. Please note that the mattress should still remain flat at all times, just at an incline. You must make sure that you do not tilt the mattress so much that your baby slides down the bed, either. I strongly recommend that you first check with a knowledgeable health care provider to make sure that what you do is best and safest for your child. I only wanted to highlight the idea.

8. White Noise

White noise is made up of the sounds like a fan whirring, vacuum cleaner, hair-dryer, etc. It helps a newborn sleep because inside mom’s womb was all white noise. The sound of her blood flow, heart beating, etc. That’s why he finds comfort when you may run the vacuum cleaner. My son used to love when I turned on the blow-dryer. Of course, you can’t run the vacuum all day, so I recommend getting a White Noise machine, sound machine or a White Noise CD. I have two of the second one in each boy’s room so they don’t wake each other and they work like a dream!

9. Wear baby

For particularly fussy babies or just for parent’s convenience and snuggling, it helps to “wear” baby using a sling. They get very folded up in a sling, but again, it mimics the womb and babies love it! I didn’t use a sling with my first, but used a BabyBjorn Baby Carrier and loved it! It really helped me walk off the baby weight, which was a bonus. But, with my second, I did use this sling (there are many others!) and my son would fall asleep in less than 5 minutes until he grew out of it. This helped tremendously when I needed to cook dinner and do stuff with my toddler, at the time. I have also heard good things about the Moby Wrap and the Maya Wrap.

Here are ten reasons to wear your baby.

10. Swing

As I said earlier, mom’s movements lulled baby to sleep while in the womb, so I also recommend trying a swing, but don’t be surprised if your newborn only likes it at high speeds. Our family teased us we were making our first son “drunk”, but he just loved it going FAST and it was the only way he’d fall asleep in it! We used something like this swingto help him sleep (I don’t see the exact one I used anymore — guess I’m officially old now). My friend has the Fisher-Price Ocean Wonders Aquarium Cradle Swing and loves it. They didn’t have that when I was shopping for one!

Important Note: Some say it might not be safe for a newborn to sleep in a car seat, so be cautious about that. Some say it’s just fine.

Unfortunately, some of these tips do create sleep associations, but during the first weeks, you really do what you can to survive. Obviously, it never hurts to try to put your baby down to sleep without any of these “tricks”, but as I’ve probably said a billion times already on this site, it just doesn’t work for all of us.

For more product and site recommendations, please view my baby sleep resources page.

For additional information on helping your child sleep, you may be interested in our free guide, 5 Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night or our e-Book, Help Your Baby Sleep, a Detailed Guide.

Do you have any newborn baby sleep tips?