Posts Tagged ‘sleep through the night’

A very common question I get is when a baby can go all night without a feeding. This article will outline general guidelines about how many night-feedings you can expect at each age.

Pediatricians all seem to disagree to the answer to the question when a baby can go all night without a feeding. There is Ferber who claims babies don’t need to eat at night after 3 months old and then there is Weissbluth who says that babies need 1-2 feedings up through 9 months old. Who’s right? They are both pediatricians with a lot of experience. Talk to your pediatrician and the answer will likely be even something different.

Although I do really like Ferber’s book and have learned A LOT from it, I can not, in good conscience, ever recommend night-weaning at 3 months old. I think that is extreme to think that all babies can do that, particularly breastfed babies. Some parents are lucky enough that their baby does it on his own that young or younger, but many parents simply aren’t that lucky.

I am not, in general, an extremist and when it comes to hunger at night, I err on the side of caution. I know that it would be sooo much easier, for US, to not feed at night, but there are adults who can’t go 12 hours without eating, so I am not sure why we expect our babies to. I am all for breaking sleep associations and promoting healthy sleep for our babies, but I don’t recommend night-weaning until your baby is showing signs she is ready and that age varies by child.

Below are the number of feedings at night, at various ages, that are within “normal” range (in my experience) and don’t throw up a red flag that there is more going on than just a feeding:

•   Newborns to 3 months old: Feedings every 2-3 hours, on demand
•   3-4 Months: 2-3 feedings per night or every 3-6 hours, on demand
•   5-6 Months: 1-2 feedings
•   7-9 Months: 1, maybe 2, feedings
•   10-12 Months: Sometimes 1 feeding
•   12+ Months: Generally no feedings

Obviously, growth spurts are an exception and you should feed as needed during those. Growth spurts are generally over within a week.

I typically recommend at least an attempt at night-weaning by 8-9 months old, because at some point, sometimes it is a chicken and egg problem. A baby needs a certain amount of sustenance during the day and if he gets some at night, he won’t eat more during the day and if he doesn’t eat more during the day, he needs it at night. So, sometimes, a baby really does feel hungry at night, but it doesn’t mean he can’t go all night without a feeding, it simply means he needs to adjust how much he’s eating during the day. The idea is to gently help him do this.

I personally tried to night-wean around 9 months, but with both my boys, they did continue to eat at night up through a year and I weaned to cow’s milk (not sure if it was age or the weaning, though). They did, however, sleep better after I at least nudged them in the right direction, so I was glad I at least tried.

When did you night-wean?

Since some babies won’t sleep through the night without a feeding until some time after 9 months or longer, some parents swear by something called a “dream feed”, where you feed your baby while he or she is still asleep, before you go off to bed. Some parents breastfeed and others can give a bottle without even picking up the baby. The theory is that you will get a longer stretch of sleep, yourself. The question is, will this work and should you do it?

For some people, a dream feed will be a Godsend. This is how it works: Baby goes to sleep around 7 p.m., you dream feed (feed the baby when he is asleep) around 10 p.m. before you go to bed, and baby might sleep until 4 or 6 a.m. or later, giving you a glorious 6 to 8 hours of sleep straight. Go to bed early and have your partner/spouse give the dream feed and you can get even more sleep! When it works, a dream feed is a wonderful thing. Unfortunately, they don’t always work.

As I explained how we sleep at 4 months old, the first part of the night is the deepest sleep of the night for all babies and children over 4 months (approximately). Therefore, it might be very difficult to rouse your baby enough to feed any old time you want to. Some babies will awaken just enough to eat and stay asleep, but others might not wake up enough and others will wake up too much and be somewhat cranky that you woke them up (especially if they aren’t hungry!). Another way sometimes a dream feed doesn’t work is that even if you can successfully feed your baby, even when she didn’t ask for a feeding, is that she might also wake up at 2 a.m. (or whenever) anyway. Some babies also tend to wake up more frequently after waking up the first time of the night.

I generally don’t recommend dream feeds as a solution. Of course, I personally am not against dream feeding, philosophically (some people believe it goes against the idea of demand-feeding and is not respecting the baby to force a meal on him), and I don’t think it hurts to try it (though it might take a week or two to get back to where you were if things go crazy), but, in general, I think they can be problematic. Dream feeds can make a night-waking habit that otherwise might not be there and it is difficult to know just when to stop dream feeding and your baby is fully capable of sleeping all night without that feed. After all, some babies start sleeping all the way through the night as early as 3 or 4 months. Given how hard it was to get my son to sleep, I generally would not risk waking him up just for my sake. I did try it exactly one time, he was too sleepy to eat, and I felt guilty for even trying, so I didn’t try it again. LOL

Of course, I know all too well how difficult it is to wake up to feed a baby once or twice a night for months on-end, so I certainly know why people do it. Even waking just once when you reach the 7th, 8th, or 9th month, is downright brutal. That, to me, is just part of having a new baby and something I just had to live with (even beyond 9 months for my boys). Their tummies are small and as I always say, there are many adults that can’t go 11-12 hours without a feeding, so I am not sure why we expect our babies to. Instead, I typically recommend, night-weaning down to just 1 feeding around 6 months old and attempt a full night-weaning by 9 months old, if baby hasn’t done it on their own by then.

Have you dream fed? Did it work for you? If so, share your tips