Raise your hand if this describes the scene in your home: bedtime is peaceful and easy (and followed by hours of uninterrupted sleep), while naptime is a raging battle of wills (followed by little to no sleep at all.)
Guess what? My hand would be up right now, if I didn’t need both hands to type this post. 😉
That scenario is a familiar one here at The Baby Sleep Site. We hear from a lot of frazzled parents who can’t figure out why their babies and toddlers sleep so perfectly (or at least better) at night and so not perfectly at naptime.
We have the answer to that one: naptime sleep and nighttime sleep are very, very different. So different, in fact, that naptime and nighttime sleep are actually controlled by different parts of the brain, according to Weissbluth.
But we’re not going to get into the biochemical reasons for the difference here. Instead, we’ll explore a few of the practical, common sense reasons why naptime sleep can be far more challenging than nighttime sleep.
Nap Sleep vs. Night Sleep — Consistency and Routine
Let’s start by examining the ways that naptime and nighttime routines are different. When it comes to bedtime, you likely have some sort of routine in place (and if you don’t, we recommend you create one!) Whether your routine involves bath, books, lullabies, or cuddling, it’s the routine itself that matters — doing the same thing in the same order at roughly the same time each night helps signal to your baby or toddler that bedtime’s coming. It also provides a way for your little one to wind down (a critical part of preparing for nighttime sleep.)
Now, think about your naptime routine. Different, isn’t it? A few of you may have a naptime routine that you stick to like glue (and that’s great!) But let’s be honest — it can be harder to have a consistent nap routine in place, simply because it’s harder, day to day, to make sure we’re home at the same time, and that we have the 10 or 15 minutes we need to go through each step of the routine itself. This is especially true if you’re an “on-the-go” parent.
Instead, you might find that naptime sometimes happens in the car, or in a stroller, or even in your lap. And if naptime tends to happen at different times each day (based on your daytime errands and busy-ness), that can mean that naps are even less predictable.
This is understandable, of course; it’s just not feasible for many of you to be home for every naptime, every single day. This is especially true if you have a newborn who naps four or five times a day, or if you have siblings who are all on different nap schedules. But remember that less consistency and routine at naptime can mean a lower quality of sleep, making naptimes stressful and sleepless.
Naptime Sleep vs. Nighttime Sleep — Different Environments
Think about what your house is like at night. It’s dark. It’s (relatively) quiet. Everyone is asleep. Those all sound like ideal sleeping conditions.
Now, think about what your house is like during the day. Sunlight is pouring through your windows. Everyone’s awake. The phone is ringing. The mail carrier is delivering the mail and dogs are barking. The TV is on. Your 5 year old is playing superheroes at top volume (or maybe that’s just mine…)
Could you nap through that?
This is another reason why naptime sleep is often less peaceful than nighttime sleep — the environment in which it happens isn’t nearly so “sleepy.” Sure, you can do your best to create a calm, quiet naptime space. But you can’t blot out the sun, or insist that every single dog on your block stop barking for two hours. And, some babies simply can’t learn to sleep through noise.
Naptime Troubles? Let’s Fix Those.
You know why naptime and nighttime sleep are different, and a few reasons why naptime can be a whole lot less restorative and peaceful than bedtime. Now — how do you “close the gap” between nap sleep and night sleep?
You could start by putting a few of these ideas into practice:
- Develop a routine, and (mostly) stick with it. Routines go a long way towards promoting good, healthy sleep. Develop a short, basic naptime routine (something you can do in about 5-10 minutes, longer if your baby is spirited), and then try to do it before every nap. The shorter and simpler the routine, the more likely you’ll actually do it each day.
- Make sure naps happen at (mostly) the same time each day. Timing and routine go hand-in-hand. First, determine how many naps your baby or toddler needs. Second, work to establish a nap schedule with your baby or toddler. Finally, commit to sticking with this schedule as often as possible. Every day is ideal; if that’s not possible aim for 4-5 days each week. For more information on establishing a nap schedule, visit our Sample Schedules page.
- Allow time for winding down. Shaye, one of our sleep consultants, made this observation about naptime:
“I think naps are tough because we tend to be running errands, playing, etc. And then boom! We expect them to just lie down and nap amid all that craziness.”
If that describes your situation, try to allow more time for your baby or toddler to wind down before her nap. Spend some time reading to her, or offer her a few “quiet” toys to play with.
- Create a “nighttime” nap environment. It’ll never be perfectly dark and quiet at naptime, but with the right nap products, you can get close! 🙂 Blackout blinds and white noise machines create a dim, noise-free setting that’ll help your baby or toddler nap longer and better.
Are naptimes rough at your house? How do you cope? Any tips to make naptime sleep more like nighttime sleep? Share your thoughts!
Naptime sleep (or lack thereof) making you feel flustered and frazzled? Check out Mastering Naps and Schedules, a comprehensive guide to napping routines, nap transitions, and all the other important “how-to” of good baby sleep. With over 40 sample sleep schedules and planning worksheets, Mastering Naps and Schedules is a hands-on tool ideal for any parenting style. For those persistent nighttime struggles, check out The 3 Step System to Help Your Baby Sleep (for babies) or The 5 Step System to Better Toddler Sleep (for toddlers). Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your baby sleep through the night. Or, join our Members Area packed with exclusive content and resources: e-Books, assessments, detailed case studies, expert advice, peer support, and audio courses. It actually costs less to join than buying products separately! For those looking for a more customized solution for your unique situation with support along the way, please consider one-on-one baby and toddler sleep consultations. Sometimes it’s not that you can’t make a sleep plan; sometimes you’re just close to the situation or too tired to!
@ Shira — Very true. Kids are mysteries indeed! Sounds like you’re taking your little mystery in stride, though. 😉 Thanks for commenting!
@ Julaine — sounds like you’ve benefited from a sleep consultation! So glad the tips that Amber and Nicole gave you have helped. Thanks for sharing them here!
@ Emily — It can certainly be true that some babies and toddlers nap with ease but struggle mightily with their naps. However, we find (through our work with clients) that it’s more common for older babies and toddlers to master (or at least mostly master!) nighttime sleep but still struggle with naps. What’s more, many parents find that as their babies and toddlers go through the sleep regression stages, naptime sleep can be more affected than nighttime sleep.
I’d say that by and large, what you’re describing is less common (although still frustrating, as I’m sure you can attest to!) Many kids, however, sleep well most nights but consistently have a hard time with naps.
@ maria — true sleep training really shouldn’t begin until your baby is 4 months, so CIO isn’t a solution at this point (since your baby is 13 months). If you really feel like your daughter is overly tired, I think it’d be fine for you to do whatever you need to (nurse to sleep, rock to sleep, sleep her in the swing, etc.) in order to make sure she’s getting adequate sleep. At this point, that’s important. When she’s a month or two older, you can start to work on teaching her good sleep habits (i.e. falling asleep on her own, eliminating sleep associations, etc.)
For more info, check out our free guide (https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-through-night-free-ebook/). You may also be interested in our article on tips to help newborns sleep better (https://www.babysleepsite.com/newborns/newborn-sleep-baby-tips-10/).
Hang in there, Maria! It gets better. It really does! 🙂
@ Tammy — our general recommendation to parents is to begin as you mean to continue. Obviously, driving him around until he falls asleep isn’t a great idea, simply because you can’t sustain that! Now, if you’d be fine with him sleeping on the couch or in a pack-n-play, it could work, but it’s probably most ideal if he figures out how to nap in his crib. It could just be time for some nap training — a process in which you help him learn how to fall asleep in his crib for naps.
You can check out our free napping guide for more tips on how to do this (https://www.babysleepsite.com/free-baby-nap-guide/); you can also take a look at our e-book Mastering Naps and Schedules (http://www.babynapswell.com) Both are good resources for achieving better naptime sleep.
Thanks for commenting, Tammy! Let us know what ends up working for you.
We have the opposite. Daughter falls asleep quickly for naps but nighttime takes forever. both have nice but not overly complicated routines. she’s tired for both. it’s a mystery.
I too agree that nap time and night time sleep are different. I have also come to learn that no two days are alike when you have a child. My son usually Takes two naps a day at 10&3pm and goes to bed at 7:30 and wakes for one night feeding. Some days he takes both naps and goes to bed perfectly or doesn’t nap all day and sleeps through the night. My son is 11 months old today and is constantly changing and learning new things. As exciting as that is, It can disrupt his sleep. For example, when he learned to stand up in his crib or turn on the light feature on his crib aquarium. Tools I used to help Owen sleep at night time and nap time are…
Establish a routine and stay consistent no matter how trying
Keep soft music playing and baby aquarium on during sleep time..as our house is very quiet.
Cover the window during sleep
Give his blanket at sleep time
Give him 5 min b4 getting him at night/ nap time
Stay in his crib for 1 hr at nap time sleeping or not
Adjust bedtime if naps are missed or wakes early in am
All tools I learned from Nicole and Amber.. Hopefully I’m a goog pupil and make you guys proud 🙂
Establish a routine and stay consistent even though trying at times. I nurse prior to naps/ bed with his blanket.
Cover the window in his room during sleep
At nap time if he doesn’t sleep he is to stay in his crib for 1 hr sleeping or not. Then attempt again 1 hr later… This dies throw the rest of the day off but atleast he gets some sleep.
soft music playing in his room during sleep in addition to the crib Aquarians on without the light feature
But what about the opposite? I have twin girls and both girls are relatively good nappers. One is a rock star sleeper at night, but my other daughter? Night time is really hard for her. She fights bed time unless she’s been up for 3+ hours (and we have had the same night time routine for 5 months) and then wakes up a lot through the night. But during the day she puts herself to sleep for her naps, is a great self soother 95% of the time, and sleeps really well for around 1.5 hours.
Does it make sense that she would sleep so well when there is light and noise, but not so well when sleeping conditions are optimal?
My 13 week old used to nap just fine but for the past few weeks has been fussing when i put her down for naps. plus she will only nap in her swing. i hate doing cio at this age but she is so unhappy when she doesnt nap and then bedtime is awful. i nurse her to when she is drowsy then put her in the swing. sometimes she goes right to sleep but most of the time she fusses. have i set up a bad habit? but isnt nursing for relaxation natural? please help..her lack of naps is badly affecting her nightime sleep and she only sleeps 10-11 hours a day. sometimes she is up for 6-10 hours straight. my poor girl has dark circles under eyes and she is always yawning and rubbing her eyes.
I do agree that naps and nightime are very different! Especially at our house, my 14 month old goes to sleep at 8-830 pm and sleeps till 830am!!! But napping is not so hot! I have tried the nap routine and blocking the sun and reducing noise, but unless my little guy falls asleep in the car and I put him in his crib, he does not like being in his crib for naps!!! What can I do? Should I have him sleep on the couch or in a play pin?