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Do you want more sleep?   Yes! I need more sleep.

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  1. Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says

    Hang in there @ Tiffany!! It sounds like you are back on the right track, and things are progressing nicely! Thank you for writing back and we hope that things continue to go well!

  2. Tiffany says

    Yes setbacks are disappointing and exhausting! The night after I wrote on here he did sleep fine getting up only once close to his normal time before the fever (4-5am) to eat. From this point on I’m just trying to let him make sounds or cry it out if he wakes up before 3 or 4 am depending on what time he goes to bed and it’s been working. He usually falls back to sleep after a few minutes. Though I can’t help but wait anxiously for the day when he don’t have to take 3 naps a day and a nap and bed time are consistent! Thanks for responding!

  3. Emily DeJeu says

    @ Cat — okay, I see. Thanks for the clarification.

    A few things: first, don’t waste a minute feeling bad about co-sleeping. It doesn’t have to be scary or dangerous, provided you do it safely. And while some families co-sleep intentionally, and for philosophical reasons, LOTS of families do just what you’re doing. They never planned to co-sleep, but they do it for a season. Nothing wrong with that, until you decide that you’re over it and ready to go back to normal – and it sounds like you’re close to that point. 😉

    Here’s what I’d suggest – once you feel ready to sleep train your son again, move him temporarily into your bedroom. Do your usual bedtime routine, but then put your daughter down in her crib and your son down in your room (in a portable crib, maybe). This will give you greater freedom in working with him to re-teach how to self-soothe, because you won’t have to swoop in to grab him at the first sounds – you’ll have more flexibility to allow for a little bit of limited crying.

    Does that make sense? Hopefully, it won’t take long for him to re-learn how to self-soothe, and then you can move him back into the nursery and go back to business as usual at bedtime.

    Hope this is helpful, Cat! Keep us posted on what happens. 🙂 And thanks for commenting!

  4. Cat says

    Thank you so much for addressing my comment! (I find it amazing!)

    Currently, I’ve been doing bottles and books in the twins’ nursery, as usual, put my daughter in her crib, and (unsuccessfully) attempt to put my son in his. As soon as he begins to kick and/or whimper, I wisk him away out of the room. (But I keep up the attempt, so possibly, on some level, he might realize that it’s my expectation that he sleeps in his crib in his room (?)). Then, I lie down with him in my bed. I know– co sleeping is scary–and I swore I’d never be like “one of those hippie moms,” but then I had a colicky baby, and it literally solved the problem. But we don’t have a spare room, and he settles pretty quickly. Then, later in the night, I either sneak him back into his crib, or when he wakes for his 2am bottle/ diaper change, I put him (still awake!) in his crib and he goes down, no problem.
    So we’re surviving, and making it work. Although I don’t love 7:00 as a bedtime for ME, and my house desperately misses my cleaning that I used to get done after the twins went to sleep. I just hope sleep training my son again soon won’t be too painful and won’t ruin my daughter’s good work in that area!

    Thanks again

  5. Emily DeJeu says

    @ Christina — absolutely! Happy to have helped. 🙂

    @ Cat — oy, this sounds tough, especially considering you’re doing it solo much of the time! That has to be so, so hard.

    One suggestion, off the top of my head – have you tried sleeping your son in a different room? Like maybe in a pack-n-play in your room, or in a spare room (if you have one)? Or even in the living room, or something? Sound’s like he’s the nighttime ‘offender’ for the most part; if you removed him from the situation, and knew he couldn’t wake your daughter, would you feel better about not having to race to him every time he starts to cry?

    If you do that, then you could gradually begin sleep coaching your son again (in a manner that doesn’t induce barfing, of course!)

    What do you think of that idea?

  6. Cat says

    About a month ago, my twin son and daughter were sleep trained champs! We’d do baths, brush teeth, bottles, books; they’d hit the deck in their cribs, and I could actually do some cleaning, work, or even (gasp!) watch a whole tv show. But. Then my son got sick, and became very needy. His sleep training went out the window, although my daughter stayed the course. When he was feeling better, but had some lingering mucus, we went back to the normal bedtime routine. But he would cry so hard and work himself up until he vomited–(all within 5 minutes of me leaving the room!). That, of course, needed tending to, so it would wake my daughter (they share the nursery in our small but wonderful home.). This happened for three nights, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I’d try putting them down as usual, but when he started to cry, I’d run in to grab him, (fearing the seemingly inevitable barfing situation,) which, all of the sudden now she’d wake too. Now, at 16 months, it’s as if we’re at square one with sleep training. My husband works a lot of nights, so I’m often on my own with this issue, and big toddler twins who I can no longer lift easily with one arm make easing into the crib nearly impossible! Looking for ANY advice…

  7. Christina says

    Thanks for the reply!! Makes me feel better:)

  8. Emily DeJeu says

    @ Christina — I’d say yes. When you start, you want everything to be as normal as possible. Ideally, you’d have two full weeks of normal (no schedule surprises, no illnesses, no teething, etc.) But that’s not always possible, of course, since you can’t control those circumstances. However, you can control your sleep coaching start date, so yes, I’d say push it back until she seems healthy again. 🙂

    Good question, Christina! Thanks for commenting.

    @ Tiffany — oooh, this is tough! Been there (unfortunately!!) It’s amazing how one little setback and undo so much progress, isn’t it?

    In terms of how to deal with this — if he seems 100% fine again, then you could be right – he could be reverting to old habits (i.e. crying for you every time he wakes). However, it sounds like you don’t feel comfortable doing a ‘cold turkey’ approach, and just leaving him to work it out on his own. (Which is FINE, by the way – perfectly understandable!) You could try to slowly step things back to where they were by comforting him when he cries, but gradually increasing the amount of time you leave him on his own. Maybe check in 10 minutes after he starts crying, and then a few days later, make it 15 or 20, etc. etc. That’s one approach, anyway.

    Do keep us posted on what happens, Tiffany – and thanks for commenting! 🙂

  9. Tiffany says

    My son (6 mos. old) had a fever that came and went with medicine from sat.-wed. Not 100% sure, but think it was from teething. He already got his bottom 2 teeth in and it went the same way with the fever a week before I noticed the teeth. Anyway, before he came down with this last fever I’d just put him in his own room (in his playpen)to sleep from our bedroom and he was finally sleeping about 7 hours straight! (before that nights were a nightmare with him constantly waking up anywhere from 1-3 hours all night long!) Then once he started not feeling well all that went out the window! Very frustrating! Wed. night he was fever free, but still woke up after only a couple hours of sleep. When last night came I thought for sure he should be able to sleep longer, but the crying began again after only a couple hours of sleep. I tried to let him go for about 20 minutes to see if he would stop, but he didn’t and I caved (changed him and nursed him). If he should wake up again tonight do you think it’s just because he’s used to getting up and getting my attention like during his illness? And should I just let him cry? Please help! Thank you!

  10. Christina says

    Would it be wise to say if my daughters cold is waking her more then normal and we were going to start sleep training tomorrow to just start when she’s 100%? She’s 6m old today. Thanks!