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Are you tired of one-size-fits-all advice? Yes! I need a personalized sleep solution.

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  1. Mag says:

    My older daughter was formula fed, and slept through the night at 5 months. I replaced her pacifier once, and from then on she slept like a rock. Imagine a toddler ASKING to go to bed; that was my girl. I thought, sleep training? What’s that for?

    My breastfed 6 month old younger daughter wakes up once at night, and she’ll sleep in a crib for 6-8 hours, no more. She will rarely nap in a crib, though; she wants to be held. If I can do that, she’ll take three 1-2 hour naps; if not, she cat naps All. Day. Long. She’s fussy and needy on those days.

    I’m sure this is entirely temperament. I rocked my formula baby to sleep with a bottle; I nurse this little one to sleep the same way.

  2. Patricia says:

    No doubt, my comments will be “jumped all over” by the ageists out here. Regardless of the “latest” information and advise on raising an infant, I know what works and worked for many mothers of my generation. At two weeks of age, both of mine were being bottle fed and graduated to solids in the form of pablum. They had regular routines, slept through the night and were pleasant and not fussy. I did not drag them from pillar to post, whenever I felt like going somewhere. No! their time was respected. Wake, feed, play, then sleep. It worked, my children never suffered. I loved them up “touch” feely as they call it now, throughout their childhood. They don’t have allergies or disabilities. I am sorry, this sleeplness night stuff is BS. Fill the poor child’s tummy, let them rest, see them grow. I would be more concerned about their sleep deprivation at this early stage of life.

  3. Wendy says:

    Nicole, I found your response to Irena’s comment infinitely comforting. I am one first time mum (I’m from Australia, hence the mum not mom) who has found the conflicting information about sleep overwhelming. My son is 8 months old and my husband and I are loving, caring and responsible parents but from four months I found the 3 hourly night wakings very tiring and from 6 months the 1 – 2 hourly wakings became exhausting for both of us. And yet I was (and still am) torn between the view that I should respond to my child until he sleeps himself or that I should absolutely demand that he sleep for 12 hours without disturbing us.

    People on both sides of the spectrum will often argue that the other side is unrealistic and being harmful. For mum’s like me caught in the middle it’s a minefield of guilt and self-doubt, studies like the one cited by Irena (and I’ve read so many of them), just perpetuate this guilt. All I wanted was a middle road, there are three people in my family and all our needs need to be respected, not just my son’s.

    In the end we went with sleep training, we don’t leave our son to cry endlessly on his own but we stopped the feeding, pacing and rocking and we want him to settle himself. We’re slowly making progress. He does cry and I do find it hard, I still wonder if we are doing the right thing. The reason I find your comment so comforting is because, in a world of extreme views, its sane and balanced, it reminds me that I provide my son with love, protection and comfort, that we have a wonderful relationship and that these things need to be viewed as a whole, not just one moment in a whole day.

    • Nicole says:

      @Wendy I’m so glad my comment comforted you! I don’t agree with either extreme point of view on the subject of cry it out and sleep training. I believe every family has unique dynamics and you know those best. I believe that fragmented sleep is hard on the entire family and we can’t be the best parents we can be without adequate sleep. The balance between your baby’s well-being, your well-being, and how much crying you allow is a unique combination for your family. Cry it out is not the only way and it’s not where I typically start, but I don’t throw it out the window, either. We all have to find our own journey to good or better sleep. Good luck to you! I also want to thank you for an idea for another article. 🙂

  4. irena says:

    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article1083020.ece

    Crying it out is damaging to your baby. Science shows that the rush of cortisol exposure is highly damaging to the parasympathetic nervous system. There is no science saying that CIO is “Ok”.

    Opinions don’t prove anything. Science does.

    • Nicole says:

      @Irena Thank you for your comment and the link to that article. Again, this does not prove that ‘cry it out’ is damaging. Are we talking about a systematic ignoring of a child’s emotions or a small snapshot in time? Bed sharing until the age 5 is simply not realistic for everyone and from the sounds of it Sunderland would also say that daycare / nursery is damaging to children, too. It’s simply unrealistic for a variety of families. I am not arguing that ignoring a child’s cries forever is not damaging. What about 5 minutes? 10? an hour? What if after 15 minutes a baby sleeps 12 hours a night? Is that okay then or is it better for a baby to wake up every two hours, instead, to avoid 15 minutes of crying? There are SOOO many scenarios that to paint any black and white picture is unfair to the many families struggling to cope and function on a daily basis. Thanks again for commenting!

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