The time has come. You are about to get back to the world of suitcases and laptops and start working again. Even though you are completely ready to make a comeback, re-
entering the work industry can be tough. When you think about it, even after the holidays we have a hard time embracing the working habits again, not after a several-month break.
What you need to know from the very start is that it is okay to feel insecure and it is okay to feel intimidated. For a little confidence boost and roadblock elimination, here are some essential tips for all the amazing moms who are returning to work.
There is Nothing to Feel Guilty About
Guilt can truly affect both your work and the time you spend with your kids. “Mom guilt” happens to some women because they feel like they are leaving their children alone.
Clinical psychologist and author of the book Happy Endings, New Beginnings: Navigating Postpartum Disorders, Susan Benjamin Feingold said: “I think it’s quite common to have ‘mommy guilt,’ and I’ve discussed this with many of my patients as they return to work.”
She also further explained why that happens: “My take on it is this: We have unrealistic expectations that we can and should do it all and then feel terribly guilty that we can’t live up to these ideals of being the perfect mom.”
The solution to such troubling thoughts is to know that perfection doesn’t exist and the reason why you are going back to work is for your children. They will be more than happy to watch their mom as a satisfied and accomplished woman.
Let Go of Control
No one knows their kids better than a mom. That is a fact. However, you’ll need to let go of control now that you are getting back to work.
Giving away your control to your husband, babysitter, mother, or a sister can be so hard. You can feel like no one will be better than you at taking care of your children.
That may be true, but you need to know that whoever will take care of your little one while you’re at work will do their best to keep your child well.
Don’t Think About Other People
Women are expected to balance so many life roles – a mother, a wife, a businesswoman, a colleague, a sister, and a daughter just being some of them. The expectations of being good at everything can put so much pressure on you.
The thought that has probably crossed your mind is, “What will people say?” Thinking about whether people will judge you for going back to work won’t do you any good.
What you need to understand is that people are judgmental by nature and you will never be able to live up to everyone’s expectations. Some will think that you are a supermom while others will frown upon your decision. The point is: Who cares!
This is your life and you should live it the way you want.
Turn the Motherhood into Experience
If you are returning to work after maternity leave and you’ve taken a longer break (that can’t pass unnoticed), here are a few tips for you.
Make sure that you list all of the courses, volunteer work, or freelancing that you engaged in while you were away.
Additionally, you can mention motherhood as an experience. Truthfully, as fulfilling as it can be, being a mother is one of the most demanding jobs. There are so many skills that you develop as a mom that it is as valuable as any other job position.
Some of the options you can use as a job title are:
- Full-time mother
- Stay at home mum responsible for X children
- Domestic engineer
- Household manager
The attained skills you can list below the job are:
- Problem-solving skills
- Managing conflict
- Communication skills
Discuss Adjusting Your Schedule with the Employer
Mixing your home responsibilities with your work responsibilities will make your schedule very tight.
As a mother, you have every right to discuss your schedule with the employer and find a solution that agrees with both of you.
Have an honest conversation with the employer about the flexible work schedule and address some job elements such as work hours, working at home one day a week, being at home at certain hours, etc.
Be realistic about your possibilities and obligations and let the employer know what you can and cannot do.
Focus on Work
The moment you step into the building you should rewire your thoughts to focus on work. This may be easier said than done, but with some effort and persistence, you’ll get the hang of it.
You mustn’t overwhelm yourself with thoughts about what is happening at home while you’re at work. Not only will it affect your mental health but it will also affect your job.
Use the time you have at work to completely surrender to your obligations and do your best to catch up with all that you’ve missed.
Find Your Support Group
Lastly, no one will understand a working mom best than another working mom. Dealing with unexpected difficulties can be less troubling if you have someone who has been through the same thing and knows what can help you.
Thanks to the world of the internet, there is a vast number of groups and communities of mothers who are helping each other out.
Some of them are:
When things get rough, these groups can give you a sense of belonging and provide you with support and useful advice.
BIO: Donald Fomby is a Korean translation service expert at PickWriters. Writing has become his passion since college so, in addition to being a translator, Donald works as a freelance writer.