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Do you want more sleep?   Yes! I need more sleep.

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  1. Traci says:

    It is absolutely amazing to me how much a toy could affect sleep. My 12 month old daughter lost her favorite Beanie baby cat yesterday afternoon. She cried all day, asking for her “kee-kaa”. She finally got so tired from crying that she laid herself down in the floor and went to sleep for an extra nap. This put her to bed later than usual. However, she is still asleep at 8:30 those morning, when she usually wakes at 6:30….so That’s kind of nice. We are still hoping, however, that the cat will turn up at Walmart and they will Call saying they’ve found it. The cat has sentimental value. When I was 11, my dad retired from the Navy, and we moved all the way from Virginia to Texas, and the last day that I saw her, my best friend Kayce gave me her favorite Beanie baby cat. I’ve had that cat since 2001. I really hope we find it.

  2. Emily DeJeu says:

    @ alice — No worries; I enjoyed your epic comment! Thanks for sharing so honestly and openly about your mixed feelings regarding your daughter’s sleeping habits. You speak with a lot of wisdom here, and your words are definitely going to be encouraging to other parents!

    Thanks so much for commenting, Alice! 🙂

  3. alice says:

    Interesting article and comments indeed. I am a 2nd generation asian married to a caucasian. We live in Canada with our 2.5 yr old daughter. Prior to my daughter’s birth, I thought it would be no big deal to conform to the north american norm – sleep in separate crib/room and have regular nap/sleep times. Maybe we’re big softies but once she came out, it was instinctive to respond immediately to her cries – so much so that co-sleeping in the same bed became the norm in our house – as well as having late bedtimes and variable nap times…all the things I didn’t think I would do! Of course I don’t resent it at all – in fact, both my husband and I love it (the co-sleeping that is, not the late bedtimes!).

    I don’t know however, if I was more permissive because of my cultural background – my parents tell me (repeatedly and proudly) that we had no fixed bed time/nap time and we all slept in the same room – on the floor with special blankets/mats (asian style) until my brother and I were both 4/5 yrs old. In fact, i recall as a young girl, having friends tell me that they had to stop doing something or go home etc because it was bedtime, and I also recall thinking how odd that was, what if you weren’t tired yet? haha!

    With my daughter now, I do try to maintain some semblence of a routine, even if times are not exactly rigid but that is about it for me. We never did sleep train her so it was tough to keep exact hours. She has always been a late riser and late sleeper. I’m talking about waking up around 10am and bedtimes were between 9:30pm-2am (9:30pm if no nap, 1-2am if she had a 2hr nap – yikes!). Thank GOD she has finally dropped her nap! (just happened last week)

    Our family hours (aka late sleeping) and sleeping arrangement were not established without careful thought and we (including our daughter) are quite happy with it, however I do find that I’m quite embarrassed/sheepish when I tell people about our hours or sleeping arrangement – which reflects the pressures/guilt that can arise from deviating from the cultural norm.

    Thank you for your enlightening perspective on sleep in different cultures. I do agree that getting enough sleep is important for the baby, however WHEN they sleep is a societal construct, albeit understandably so, given all the other pressures on parents; and that the 7pm bedtime, 7am wake time is not necessarily the single solution for all babies!! (and no I don’t ‘necessarily think your website is saying that)

    Thanks for reading my epic comment!

  4. Emily DeJeu says:

    @ Traci — the nap craziness could be due to this: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-naps-2/12-month-olds-one-nap-transition/ Basically, there’s kind of a “blip” that happens around 12 months old. It usually passes, and the toddler will go back to taking two naps. See if that article helps at all.

    Thanks for commenting, Traci!

  5. Traci says:

    She turned a year old on November 19th.

  6. Traci says:

    She is 1 year old as of November 19th.

  7. Emily DeJeu says:

    @ Traci — sorry you’re struggling! DST can be so hard on schedules. Let me ask — how old is Gabriel?

  8. Traci says:

    Just about at the end of my rope. Daylight savings time is KILLING us over here. My daughter, Gabriel, used to sleep so well. We Would put her to bed at 6:45 and she’d be asleep by 7. Then she’d wake at 7 am. Well during daylight savings, she also started growing in her 1 year molars, and hit a sleep regression. We’ve now been having problems since before daylight savings. She used to nap for 2 hours in the morning, and at least an hour in the afternoon. Now she wakes almost consistently before 6, most times as early as 5 am. She used to take a good nap in the morning, and then fight the afternoon nap. Now, she fights both naps, and I’m lucky to get a total nap of 1 hour. She still goes to bed well at night, but again, she wakes early. I don’t know if I should push her bedtime back a little, or just keep soldiering on. It’s been nearly 2 months, and it’s making me bitter in the mornings because I Can’t get the rest I need anymore, and it was such a sudden change. I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know if I should transition her to one nap a day, and see if she does better. But my angel baby that always slept so well and never gave me any problems, turned into a nightmare when it comes to sleeping. Sometimes she whimpers in her sleep all night. Any ideas? Because I’m about to go nuts!

  9. Katka says:

    I am from Slovakia (Central Europe) and I guess we are somewhere in between on many of these points. Bedtime si early – around 7pm. Naps are supposed to be fairly regular, I think most people try to put their baby down at the same time every day and few would compromise their schedule for errands or an outing. I think moms try to have a predictable schedule for their baby in general.
    Babies are expected to sleep in their cribs but the crib is in the parents’ room and stays there for quite some time (depending on the family up to 2 years). I think very few people put their newborn to another room. We are also fans of swaddling. I’m not sure about co-sleeping. I think many co-sleepers do so out of necessity, not out of conviction. It’s also normal for siblings to share bedroom.

    Now, our maternity leave will probably shock you :). All together it’s 3 years. It’s 8 months of maternity leave and the rest is parental leave where you don’t get much money but you get to stay home with your child. Your employer must keep a job for you (albeit not the same position you held before). It’s still the norm although more and more women return to work earlier. Most moms would probably cringe at the thought of leaving their child before their 1st birthday and the idea of returning to work after just 12 or 16 weeks is simply shocking and absurd to a Slovak 🙂 (not passing judgment, just describing the status quo). It simply isn’t done around here.
    Crying it out depends on the family. Some would never let their baby cry and some say if he is fed, clean diaper, etc, let him cry. It really depends.

    • Emily DeJeu says:

      @ Katka — thanks for sharing these points! Always helpful (and insightful) to know how moms from around the world handle the challenges of baby and toddler sleep.

      And wow — 3 years!! I think moms here in the U.S. would probably pass out from shock if they knew that moms in Slovakia were getting 3 years of leave! In the U.S., 12-16 weeks of maternity leave is on the longer side; I think 6-8 weeks is probably more standard. Hardly any time at all, compared to yours. 😉

      Thanks for commenting, Katka!

  10. Emily DeJeu says:

    @ Amy — thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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