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Tips to Help Your Toddler When Bringing Home a Newborn

Tips for Toddler With Newborn

When I was pregnant with my second child, I knew it was “normal” to wonder if I could possibly love my second as much as my first (happily, I found out it was more than possible). 🙂 I remember having conversations with my mommy friends and hearing from most of them that going from 1 to 2 children was hard. Only one of my friends said the transition wasn’t that bad. “You’ve already adjusted your whole life to having children… what’s one more?” She said. I held tightly onto her statement. What I wasn’t prepared for was how hard of a time my 2 ½ year old would have sharing mommy. I’m pretty sure she cried more than the newborn those first three months. It was hard on all of us. But we survived, and today, my 13 month old and 3 ½ year old were eating pears together in their side-by-side chairs while I read them a story. So very sweet. I hardly remember the challenges we faced in those early months of becoming a family of 4.

Sure there are still days that my 3 1/2 year old whines more than my 1 year old cries. There are times I haven’t been able to be the mom I’ve wanted to be to one or both of them. I’ve had to use my oldest daughter’s favorite television show to “babysit” while I tried desperately to get the baby to nap. She didn’t mind, that’s for sure! Part of the solution I’ve discovered is having an acceptance and understanding of my limitations. Even with help, I am still only one person, and I’ve found the kids have forgiven me for being human and still think I have super powers. 🙂

Here are some tips that I found helpful in assisting my oldest to life as a big sister:

Big sister party!– It was important to find a way to turn the focus onto my oldest, because everyone around us was so excited about the new baby. We kept the celebration small and laid back. Just my husband, Grandma and a family friend were invited to celebrate my oldest becoming a big sister. We bought a few toys at the dollar store and a cake. My oldest was so proud and excited for Her party! She still had a huge temper tantrum that night at bedtime, haha!, but I know the extra love made her feel special. We talked about her party for months after.
Consistent bedtime routine- My oldest was starving for my attention and desperately wanted me at bedtime. I couldn’t always finagle it, but if I could, I tried to do her bedtime routine during the first few months. This gave dad or Grandma one-on-one time with the new baby, as well. It was very important for me to be consistent with my older daughter’s bedtime routine, including having a distinct ending. She started having tantrums at bedtime, especially when I put her down in her crib after cuddling in the chair. I ended up using a 5-minute timer on my phone to help her know when snuggle time was over. The 5-minute timer would ring, and she knew it was time to go into bed. My consistency was very important. Even if she wasn’t consistent, I had to be.
Sticker charts- Focusing on my daughter’s positive behavior was very important in the early months, since a lot of her behavior was not positive. For example, getting her pajamas on without crying earned a sticker. Each step of the naptime or bedtime routine could earn her a sticker. If she earned enough stickers, she got to pick either a small prize or to do something special together (like go to the park). See our sticker chart tips here.
Line Up their Schedules- Try to get their schedules to line up at least some of the time, if possible. For example, when my youngest was taking 4 short naps a day (around 4 months old) her first two naps were short (which is common around that age) and I helped extend her 3rd nap to an hour, since my oldest was napping at that time too. Aligning their two naps allowed us to get out of the house afterwards to do something that my oldest would enjoy. The baby’s 4th nap was oftentimes on the go in my carrier. It’s not easy to line up schedules, but we have schedule juggling tips here.
Special Nursing/Napping Basket- Nursing did not come easy to me and my youngest baby (she was born early). I found it helpful to have a special basket full of fun toys that my oldest could play with while I tried to nurse or nap the baby. These would be toys that only came out at those times, so she would be excited to play with them. If I needed to leave her for short periods of time, I would make sure she was in a child-proofed room and had something fun to play with. Or, we would all sit on the couch while I nursed the baby, and she either played with her toys or had me read her a book. It wasn’t always graceful, but we got better with it over time. I found this blog helpful in coming up with ideas for my basket and for other ways to keep her entertained.

In the end, I love my two girls more than you can imagine, of course. Expectations mean a lot and now I know that some days are simply better than others and I imagine that will be the case for you, too.

What tips did you find helpful to ease your oldest into the big sibling role?

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7 Tips To Successful Sibling Room-Sharing

By Emily DeJeu

We’ve discussed how YOU sharing a room with your baby can affect your baby’s sleep, but what about when your baby needs to share a room with a sibling? We know that some of you have been anxiously (dare we say desperately?) awaiting this article. Fear not, we have 7 tips to successful sibling room-sharing.

Why Should Siblings Room-Share?

We know many of our readers are finding themselves faced with the task of transitioning their kids into sharing a room. And we know that for many of you, room-sharing isn’t really a choice — it’s something you have to do.

This is often the case for families who are expecting a new baby; suddenly, you have more children than you do bedrooms, and the sleeping arrangements have to change.

Or maybe you’re downsizing. This was the case for my family. A few years ago, we moved from a three bedroom home to a two bedroom rental, and it just wasn’t an option for my boys (age 2 and 8 months) to have separate rooms anymore. Some of you may even like the idea of siblings sharing a room and being (emotionally) closer growing up. Whatever the reason, these tips should help!

Sibling Room-Sharing: “Is This Going To Work?!”

The prospect of suddenly shoving two (or more) kids into a room together and expecting them to easily sleep in the same room can seem overwhelming. If your children have never shared a room before, you may be wondering how the new sleeping arrangements are going to affect their sleep (or if they’ll sleep at all!)

Take heart, readers! We know how you feel. A few of us have done room-sharing in our own homes, and we understand perfectly well the panicky “Is this going to work?!” feeling. So we compiled a list of 7 tips we think will help make room-sharing easier for everyone in your family.

7 Tips For Sibling Room-Sharing

Create Personal Space.

One of the toughest things about having your children share a room is that all privacy disappears. While this might not bother young children, it may bother older kids a lot. If you know that the lack of privacy and personal space is going to be a problem for your kids, then work to create a private, personal area for each child, as best you can.

For example, consider buying two of everything (2 beds, 2 dressers, 2 night stands), and then creating a side of the room for each child. This creates separate spaces for the kids, and helps both feel like they have their own space. Some families have even gone so far as to string a curtain along the center of the room, so that when it’s pulled shut, there’s actually a separate (and private) area for each child.
Honor Your Child’s Sleep Schedule.

This is especially true for those of you who are putting babies and toddlers/preschoolers in the same room. Don’t assume that just because your children are sharing a room, they also have to share a sleep schedule.

If your baby needs to go to bed at 6:30, but your toddler won’t fall asleep until 8:00, that’s okay. Put your baby to bed first, and then use the extra hour and a half to have some one-on-one time with your toddler! Read a few extra books, take a longer bath, or squeeze in some cuddle time. It’s perfectly okay for each child to have different (and separate) bedtime routines and schedules, even though they’ll be sleeping in the same room.

Nicole’s Note:
“This is an important one! If need be, do your baby or toddler’s bedtime routine in another room, if they are waking the other while getting settled for bed. Also, at different ages, your toddler may be going to bed earlier than the baby (who still naps, for example). Make sure you are ‘unfair’ to them in that you are respecting their individual needs.”

Be Creative With Naps.

One of the toughest parts about sleeping your children in the same room (in my experience, at least) is figuring out how to do naptime. Naptime can be more challenging than bedtime to begin with; add to that the fact that your two children are now supposed to be napping two feet away from each other, and you might have a real problem on your hands!

If you find that your children simply won’t nap in the same room, and are keeping each other awake, you may have to get creative about the napping arrangements. My solution was always to nap my boys in different rooms. The youngest would nap in his room, in the crib, while my oldest took a nap in my room, on my bed. That worked well for our family. And there are plenty of other creative arrangements you can come up with, too. I knew a family who always had a portable crib set up in one of their bigger closets; it was their baby’s favorite place to nap!
Get A White Noise Machine (or MP3).

White noise can help promote better sleep for everyone, but in my opinion, it’s especially useful in helping to create deeper, more peaceful sleep for kids who are sharing a room. The noises that one child makes during the night can make it harder for the other to sleep — one snores (or talks, or coughs) and wakes up the other. White noise can help solve that.
Be Firm and Consistent.

This is good advice for parenting in general, but let’s talk about how it applies specifically to sibling room-sharing. It’s a given that putting two children in the same room is going to (at first) make sleeping harder. Your children will want to look at each other, talk to each other, play with each other, etc.

Decide early on what you’re going to allow, and what you’re not. Establish boundaries, and set limits. Some families have a strict “lights out, no noise” policy at bedtime — when the lights go out, the children have to be silent. Other families allow some talking and giggling at bedtime, but put a limit on how long it’s allowed to continue before the kids have to be silent.

My approach has been to send my boys (now ages 5 and 3.5) up to their rooms 30 or 40 minutes before bedtime. I let them play and make noise to their hearts’ content. Then, precisely at 8, it’s lights out and no more talking. This works well for us. The boys get their fill of noisy, wild play (and of each other!); then, when it’s bedtime, they’re ready to settle in and be quiet.

There is no right or wrong way to do this, of course. The only thing that really matters is that each of your children gets the sleep that he or she needs. However, if you find that one child is keeping the other awake, and that both children’s sleep is suffering, make some changes to your approach.
Have a Back Up Plan.

Sometimes, even your best-laid plans go haywire, don’t they? Even us supermoms and superdads get caught off-guard! 😉 Maybe the baby goes through a sleep regression and suddenly starts waking during the night. Or maybe your preschooler contracts the flu and is up half the night vomiting. In times like these, it’s a good idea to have a back-up plan.

When my boys were little and were first sharing a room, my youngest son still wasn’t always sleeping through the night (he was only 8 months, after all!). And so, during nights that he just wouldn’t sleep soundly, I’d set up the Pack-n-Play in our kitchen and let him sleep there. It allowed our oldest son to get the sleep he needed, and it spared me the stress of having to frantically shush and rock the baby, in the hopes that he wouldn’t wake his brother.

Nicole’s Note:
“We have a lot of families who need their toddler and baby to share a room. One caution I share with others is not to have them share too early. A toddler has good intentions, but they are unpredictable. She may try to feed the baby something or cover him with a blanket, for example. They can be good intentions that can be unsafe for a baby. I recommend waiting until the baby is older, if you still have a toddler who is too young to understand the ramifications. Instead, YOU share the room with the baby.”

5. Remember That Room-Sharing Gets Easier With Time.

Changing your children’s sleeping arrangements probably isn’t going to be an easy process at first. (Change never is, right?) In the beginning, your kids will probably wake more often at night, and will probably be more sleepless than usual. But know that it’s going to get better! Once your children adjust to the new sleeping arrangement, things should return to normal. In fact, if your kids are anything like mine, once they get used to sharing a room, you may find that they can’t sleep any other way!

Do your children share a room? How do you make it work for your family? Scroll down to share your own tips below!

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Why You Should Be Unfair In Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler’s Sleep

By Emily DeJeu

“No fair!”

If you have toddlers or preschoolers, you’ve probably heard that phrase more than once. And if you have a toddler and a preschooler, I’m betting that’s an almost-constant saying in your home!

Young children have a strong sense of what’s fair and what’s not. They seem to know instinctively that it’s unfair when their brother gets a bigger snack, or when their sister has a longer turn with a toy.

And so, as a parent, we do everything we can to keep things fair, don’t we? We insist that our toddlers share their toys. We make sure food is doled out in equal portions.

Does the “Rule of Fairness” Apply to Sleep?

We may even try to apply the “rule of fairness” to sleep. After all, it’s only fair that your older child gets to stay up later or your toddler and preschooler go to bed at the same time, right? And it’s only fair that if one has to nap, the other should have to nap, too.

Wrong!

Those of you who have multiple children at home know that when it comes to sleep, “fairness” just doesn’t work! If you have a newborn and a toddler at home, for example, you know that their sleep needs and schedules are way, way different. It’d be crazy to expect your toddler to nap as often as your 8 week old!

And at that age, it’s not usually a problem. Your newborn’s not aware of her own newborn sleep schedule, much less how her schedule compare’s to your toddler’s schedule.

But what about when your toddler and your preschooler have different nighttime and naptime schedules? That can be when the problems begin. For example, your toddler’s perfectly aware that he has to take a nap, but that his older brother doesn’t. Unfair!

Even worse: if your preschooler has just transitioned from one nap to no nap, you may find that she needs an earlier bedtime than her younger siblings. Imagine how that feels — she’s the oldest, but she has to go to bed before her younger brother. Really unfair!

So what’s a parent to do? When it comes to sleep, do we do what’s “fair”, or what’s best?

I’ll bet you know what our answer will be. 😉

With Sleep, Fairness is Not the Goal

With regards to your children’s sleep schedules, sometimes, you have to just throw fairness right out the window. And while your toddlers and preschoolers might not understand this, that’s okay. You do. And you know what’s best.

Because after all, every single child is different, and that means your children are likely to have different sleep needs. Your preschooler might be extremely sensitive to overtiredeness (this has been the case for Nicole, with her older son). If that’s true for you, is it really “fair” to put him to bed at the same (later) time as his younger brother, even if that means he’s not going to get the sleep he needs? Not really.

And of course your toddler think’s it’s downright evil of you to force her to take a nap, while her older sister gets to keep playing.

The cruelty! The injustice!

But you know that your toddler needs sleep in the middle of the day in order to be healthy and feel good, so really, you are being fair. You’re considering her needs and then making sure they’re met. Very fair!

In part 2 of our Sibling Series, Nicole explains the idea of fairness and sleep this way:

“One important thing I have learned since I’ve had two sons is that everything can’t be 100% ‘fair’ all of the time. They are different people with different needs. You must make decisions based on what’s best for each of them. It will be impossible for everything to appear fair and, although I do try when it applies, I have stopped trying when it doesn’t make sense.”

In other words, be fair when it makes sense to be fair (like during snacktime or playtime), but forget about fairness when it doesn’t (like during naptime and bedtime.)

Tips for Being “Unfair” As Nicely As Possible

It’s easy for me to tell you to forget about fair, but how does one do that, exactly, without feeling like the meanest mommy or daddy on the block?

One of the best ways to handle this is to simply talk to your child about her feelings, and to let her know that you understand. In our Sibling Series, Nicole offers this advice:

“Adjusting expectations and explaining why something is a certain way often helps. Also, listening to their frustration and empathizing helps them feel heard, which is important. It may not change the outcome, but at least they can feel good that you understand how they feel.”

It doesn’t feel good to be “unfair”, of course, but simply put unfairness about sleep in the “Things I Don’t Like Doing But I Know Are For the Best” category (right along with things like discipline and potty training!)

Nicole’s Note
“I hear from parents who feel guilty the baby can’t be home all day for naps (it’s hard to keep a toddler in the house all day!) or they feel guilty keeping the toddler home ‘too much’ for the baby to sleep. The best you can do is just try to balance it with everyone’s needs in mind. I still rush through my older son’s routine to make sure he’s asleep earlier, even if his younger brother goes to sleep later than him. My younger one can simply handle it better and we are all happier. :)”

Are you fair or unfair when it comes to your children’s sleep schedules? Any tips on being unfair in a gentle, loving way? Share them below!

Please be sure to pick up your FREE copy of Toddler Sleep Secrets, our e-Book offering tips to help your toddler sleep better. For those persistent nighttime struggles, check out The 3-Step System to Help Your Baby Sleep (babies) or The 5-Step System to Better Toddler Sleep (toddlers). Using a unique approach and practical tools for success, our e-books help you and your baby sleep through the night and nap better. For those looking for a more customized solution for your unique situation with support along the way, please consider one-on-one baby and toddler sleep consultations, where you will receive a Personalized Sleep Plan™ you can feel good about! Sometimes it’s not that you can’t make a plan. Sometimes you’re just too tired to.

Sibling Series Part 4: How To Use Baby Sign Language to Give Your Toddler a Nap-Time Voice

By Nicole Johnson

Today’s article is a guest article from the BabySignLanguage.com website. Teaching your toddler some simple signs to use at nap time can be helpful, not only for communication, but also as a tool for quiet time when you have younger baby napping.

You may think you’ve done everything to prepare your toddler for the transition from being the only child to an older sibling. You may have even read a few books about being a sibling. You’ve discussed how busy mommy and daddy will be with the new little one, and explained how an older sibling can help with diaper changes and bottle feedings, but what about nap and bedtime routines? Your newborn is going to be sleeping, a lot. Have you defined big brother or sister’s outside voice, inside voice and nap-time voice?

It may sounds silly to think you’d need yet another setting on the volume control, but sometimes the inside voice is still a few decibels too loud for a sleeping newborn. Certainly, you can lay the new baby down in a separate room than the one your toddler is playing in or watching cartoons, but at some point toddler and baby are going to be together during baby’s nap. With even the sweetest intentions, your toddler can wish baby “sweet dreams” just loud enough that those dreams are interrupted.

Using sign language for babies to communicate with your toddler is one way to exercise a nap-time voice. Because let’s face it, a kid’s idea of a whisper can even be too loud. To help in the transition to nap-time voice, you can ask your toddler to help prepare baby for a nap. Some useful signs are:

bed
blanket
light (and off)
quiet
sleep
tired
sweet dreams or good night

Consider practicing this nap-time voice before baby arrives. Playing with a doll works well for soon-to-be older sisters, but a teddy bear or other stuffed animal can work well, too. Many times the play continues even after baby comes home. Big sister can feed her baby doll a bottle and put her down for a nap, right alongside mommy and the newborn.

Assigning tasks that toddlers can do on their own to help mommy or daddy gives that feeling of accomplishment and prestige of being the “BIG” brother or sister. With a few signs in your toddler’s tool belt, he or she can help by turning off lights and fetching a blanket. And since it is never too early to start fostering a love of a sibling teaching his baby brother or sister signs, encourage your toddler to sign “sleep” to the newborn. It won’t be long before you notice your children bonding through their own secret silent language.

With nifty free resources such as baby sign language flash cards and sign language for babies dictionary the team at Baby Sign Language is delighted to lend you a hand as you work towards incorporating baby signing to the lives of your little ones.

Other parts in the series:
Sibling Series, Part 1: Do You Have Another Baby After a Horrible Sleeper?

Sibling Series, Part 2: Juggling Different Baby and Toddler Sleep Schedules

Sibling Series, Part 3: How To Maintain Twins and Multiples Sleep and Feeding Schedules

If you’re looking for ways to get your baby or toddler into a healthy sleeping routine or schedule, I encourage you to download our FREE guide, 7 Common Napping Mistakes, or explore Mastering Naps and Schedules, a comprehensive guide to napping routines, nap transitions, and all the other important “how-tos” of good baby sleep. With over 40 sample sleep schedules and planning worksheets, Mastering Naps and Schedules is a hands-on tool ideal for any parenting style. For those persistent nighttime struggles, check out The 3-Step System to Help Your Baby Sleep. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your baby sleep through the night. For those looking for a more customized solution for your unique situation with support along the way, please consider one-on-one baby and toddler sleep consultations, where you will receive a Personalized Sleep Plan® you can feel good about! Sometimes it’s not that you can’t make a plan. Sometimes you’re just too tired to.

Sibling Series Part 2: Juggling Different Baby and Toddler Sleep Schedules

By Nicole Johnson

Lately, a lot of people are writing in about having a new baby (very exciting!) and wondering how to juggle more than one sleep schedule. This article will give you tips to maintain multiple children’s schedules, when their ages vary (multiples have a different set of challenges, so that will be a subsequent part to come).

Once you help your baby sleep through the night, and then your baby becomes a toddler, many families decide to add another baby into the mix. If you haven’t, you might want to read the first part in this series, Do you have another child after a horrible sleeper? At each stage, the challenges are different, because a newborn’s sleep needs are very different than that of an 8 month old, for example.

Balancing Sibling Schedules: Your Newborn’s Schedule and Your Toddler’s Schedules

When you first bring home the new baby, this is, ironically, probably one of the easier times, unless the new baby has colic or is otherwise more high-needs. Of course, this is only my perspective and opinion and there are a lot of factors to keep in mind and what’s easier to me may be harder to you.

A newborn baby will sleep SO much in the beginning and, for the most part, will be content to be in a Moby Wrap type carrier, laying on a baby playmat, or playing in a swing. Carriers are great for having an ability to do things for your toddler while also keeping the baby happy, and there are many other benefits of baby wearing. I used to put my younger son in a wrap while I cooked dinner or let my toddler chase me around, putting my baby to sleep in 2.2 seconds. It was great! When the baby is a newborn, schedules are virtually non-existent and you should put your baby to sleep after just 1-2 hours of being awake. At this age, sleeping on the go is typical and welcomed.

Balancing Sibling Schedules: Your 4-12 Month Old’s Schedule and Your Toddler’s Schedule

This is, by far, the most common time when I begin to get e-mails from parents. The problem? Your baby is growing up, becomes more social, may not be as portable (if he was to begin with), needs more and more time to “help” to sleep, then the 4-month sleep regression hits, and, eventually, the 8 month old sleep regression. You may be up with the baby numerous times each night and then you no longer have the luxury of napping when the baby naps (if you ever did), unless your toddler is in pre-school or some type of “Mother’s Day Out” program. And, you simply can’t take an hour to get your baby to nap while your toddler is unattended. And, if you’ve ever tried to tell your toddler “Sshhh… be quiet while the baby falls asleep.” you know that is a difficult feat.

Some tips:

Begin a nap and bedtime routine early on to cue the baby to sleep. Involve your toddler in the routine by making him a helper in the routine.
Limit how long you work on a nap with your baby. If she’s not asleep in 20-30 minutes, get her up and try again 30 minutes later. Your toddler needs your attention, too.
Once your baby is around 6 months old, consider implementing a predictable nap schedule, try to be home for those naps, and avoid car rides before them for optimum sleep. A predictable routine/schedule will help give you one-on-one time with your toddler. Before then, plan to run errands, go to the park, or go on playdates in the afternoon, where your baby’s third or fourth nap will be in the car.
Teach your baby how to fall asleep, independently (easier said than done, I know!). I can’t tell you how nice it was to be able to say “nap time,” walk into my son’s room, put him in the crib, and then walk out and get back to my toddler. He was an “easier” sleeper, so if the boys had been born opposite order, I’m sure it would not have been that easy, so I’m thankful.
Work on overlapping at least one nap between your baby and toddler’s schedule. For example, your 6 month old baby may sleep at 9 a.m., 1 p.m., and 4 p.m., so target your 18-month old’s nap to be 1 p.m. Or, target your 10 month old’s naps to be 9:30 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. so your toddler’s 1-3 p.m. nap has 1 1/2 hours overlapped. This will enable you to do chores or enjoy some down time (you deserve it!). Or, if your baby is waking too early for that and you haven’t been able to fix that, consider waking your toddler earlier such that he can nap closer to 12 or 12:30 p.m., for example.
Although it’s common to try to combine bedtime routines, sometimes at these ages, it’s easier to put the baby to sleep, first, then your toddler later. Most babies this age need an early bedtime anyway and their interests are usually very different at this age, not to mention your toddler probably desires more uninterrupted time with you by this time of the day.

Balancing Sibling Schedules: Your Baby’s Schedule and Your Pre-schooler’s Schedule

The trickiest thing about having a pre-schooler and a baby is the fact that you need to keep your baby awake for the drive to/from drop-off. My recommendation is to work hard on getting your baby on a schedule that works for drop-off/pick-up. For example, if your baby is waking at 6 a.m. and can’t make it to 9 a.m. drop-off, work on shifting his schedule forward to wake closer to 7:30 a.m. This is a common problem, I know, but if your baby takes a 5 or 10 minute nap in the car and then awakens when you get home, it may be hard for him to go right back to sleep in his crib. Do recognize, though, that one of the baby’s “jobs” is to adapt to your family life and it may or may not be perfect for him or her. You can only do the best you can and you can’t keep a toddler cooped up in the house all day, either!

Your Toddler’s Schedule and Your Pre-schooler’s Schedule

Ideally, your toddler’s nap would not be later than 1 p.m. or so, but this can wreak havoc on a schedule in which you have to drop off or pick up your pre-schooler from school. In general, you’ll have to keep your toddler awake until after drop-off/pick-up and try not to let her snooze in the car (not even for 5 minutes) unless she is easily transferred to her bed for a full-length nap.

This is a common age to begin combining bedtime routines, if you haven’t already. If my husband is home, we usually each take a child or task (for example, I might oversee putting on the pajamas and he brushes their teeth). Then, each of us reads to one and cuddles, and then switch. If one of us isn’t home (or isn’t available), together, we eat a snack, put on pajamas, brush teeth, and then we each choose one book to read, and then one waits while I cuddle with the other and then I cuddle with the other (I choose who depending on who needs to go to sleep first). I have found trying to cuddle with both at the same time leads to too much silliness. 🙂

One common issue in this age group, including school-age children, is that your pre-schooler or school-age child may not nap anymore, in which case, his bedtime most likely needs to be earlier and sometimes that means going to bed before his younger sibling. This can be difficult to accept for the older sibling. We are working through this right now, in fact.

One important thing I have learned since I’ve had two sons is that everything can’t be 100% “fair” all of the time. They are different people with different needs. You must make decisions based on what’s best for each of them. It will be impossible for everything to appear fair and, although I do try when it applies, I have stopped trying when it doesn’t make sense. Adjusting expectations and explaining why something is a certain way often helps. Also, listening to their frustration and empathizing helps them feel heard, which is important. It may not change the outcome, but at least they can feel good that you understand how they feel.

Need Help Balancing Sibling Schedules? Take A Look At Our Resources!

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Need help knowing where to start? Visit our Help Me Choose page for helping choosing the Baby Sleep Site^® resources that are right for you.

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Next in our Sibling Series: Part 3: How to Maintain Twins and Multiples Sleep and Feeding Schedules.

Other parts in the series:
Sibling Series Part 1: Do You Have Another Baby After a Horrible Sleeper?
Sibling Series Part 4: How to Use Baby Sign Language to Give Your Toddler a Nap-Time Voice.

Tips to Help Your Toddler When Bringing Home a Newborn

What tips did you find helpful to ease your oldest into the big sibling role?

Need Baby and Toddler Sleep Help? We Have the Resources You Need!

Baby and Toddler Sleep Resources That Work – Guaranteed!

Why You Should Be Unfair In Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler’s Sleep

Does the “Rule of Fairness” Apply to Sleep?

With Sleep, Fairness is Not the Goal

Tips for Being “Unfair” As Nicely As Possible

Are you fair or unfair when it comes to your children’s sleep schedules? Any tips on being unfair in a gentle, loving way? Share them below!

Sibling Series Part 4: How To Use Baby Sign Language to Give Your Toddler a Nap-Time Voice

Sibling Series Part 2: Juggling Different Baby and Toddler Sleep Schedules

Balancing Sibling Schedules: Your Newborn’s Schedule and Your Toddler’s Schedules

Balancing Sibling Schedules: Your 4-12 Month Old’s Schedule and Your Toddler’s Schedule

Balancing Sibling Schedules: Your Baby’s Schedule and Your Pre-schooler’s Schedule

Your Toddler’s Schedule and Your Pre-schooler’s Schedule

Need Help Balancing Sibling Schedules? Take A Look At Our Resources!

What is your biggest challenge in juggling different sleep schedules?

As Seen In:

What tips did you find helpful to ease your oldest into the big sibling role?

Need Baby and Toddler Sleep Help? We Have the Resources You Need!

Why Should Siblings Room-Share?

Sibling Room-Sharing: “Is This Going To Work?!”

7 Tips For Sibling Room-Sharing

Create Personal Space.

Honor Your Child’s Sleep Schedule.

Be Creative With Naps.

Get A White Noise Machine (or MP3).

Be Firm and Consistent.

Have a Back Up Plan.

Do your children share a room? How do you make it work for your family? Scroll down to share your own tips below!

Baby and Toddler Sleep Resources That Work – Guaranteed!

Does the “Rule of Fairness” Apply to Sleep?

With Sleep, Fairness is Not the Goal

Tips for Being “Unfair” As Nicely As Possible

Are you fair or unfair when it comes to your children’s sleep schedules? Any tips on being unfair in a gentle, loving way? Share them below!

Balancing Sibling Schedules: Your Newborn’s Schedule and Your Toddler’s Schedules

Balancing Sibling Schedules: Your 4-12 Month Old’s Schedule and Your Toddler’s Schedule

Balancing Sibling Schedules: Your Baby’s Schedule and Your Pre-schooler’s Schedule

Your Toddler’s Schedule and Your Pre-schooler’s Schedule

Need Help Balancing Sibling Schedules? Take A Look At Our Resources!

What is your biggest challenge in juggling different sleep schedules?

As Seen In: