Expectations can be tricky things, can't they? On the one hand, setting expectations helps to shape behaviors (both ours and others') and to set healthy boundaries (again, in our lives and in the lives of others). But expectations can also backfire on us, can't they? Unhealthy expectations can turn what is a perfectly normal, reasonable situation or event into something that feels disappointing or sad. For instance, if you are expecting a big surprise party for your birthday, and instead get