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10 Must-Read Articles From 2016 (#7 Was SO Popular!)

10 Baby and Toddler Sleep Articles You Loved In 2016

It’s hard to believe that the new year is almost here, and we have helped so many families get started on their journey to better sleep. As we close out 2016, we thought it would be fun to take a look back at the blog articles that our readers loved most this year!

With in-depth advice on topics ranging from newborn sleep problems; to answers about early rising; to nap fighting; and top toddler sleep problems, these articles (not in any particular order!) were really popular this year. Take a look below – you may just get a new favorite too!

10 Articles You Loved In 2016

10. Sleep Regression, Phase, or Habit – Which Is Causing Your Baby’s Sleep Problems?

With several sleep regressions in baby’s first year alone, it’s no wonder most parents dread the words! But given that every baby is different and regressions may hit at slightly different ages, it can be confounding to know whether your baby’s sleep changes are due to a regression, phase, growth spurt or any other number of factors.

Confused about why your baby’s sleep has suddenly changed? Click here to find out why!

9. 10 Signs It’s Time To Sleep Train

Changing sleep habits are a pretty big deal for most of us, and starting sleep coaching is like starting a new fitness program – it takes commitment, determination and lots of support. Deciding the right time to begin sleep coaching can also be challenging for many parents.

To find out if you and your baby are ready for sleep coaching, click here!

8. 4 Reasons Your Baby Is Fighting Naps

We all know that babies need naps and that they are essential to their growth and development. But what happens when you are doing everything in your power to help your baby get the sleep she needs but she still. won’t. sleep?

If you have a nap fighter on your hands, click here to look back at our article on the top 4 reasons your baby isn’t napping and how to fix them!

7. 9 Common Toddler Sleep Problems (And How To Cope With Them)

Toddler-hood can be an amazing and magical time where your baby is suddenly growing into a little person, full of personality, opinions, and questions. But with all this excitement can also come some downright perplexing sleep problems!

It is no wonder this was our most popular article in 2016. To take a look back at how to handle the 9 most challenging toddler sleep problems, click here now!

6. THIS Is What Good Baby Sleep Looks Like, According To Science.

We usually know when our baby or toddler isn’t getting enough sleep, but sometimes it’s hard to be sure. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) conducted extensive research on how much sleep babies and toddlers need to be healthy and thrive and we share the results with you!

Click here to see how much sleep your baby needs and why it’s SO important!

5. The Accidental Co-Sleeper: 5 Key Facts

Let’s face it: accidental co-sleeping is real! You know the kind of co-sleeping I’m talking about, right? The kind of co-sleeping that you never really planned on, but that just kind of happens on its own? The kind of co-sleeping where you put your child to sleep in her own bed, only to find her in YOUR bed a few hours later? Yep. That kind of accidental co-sleeping.

If this describes you, read 5 Key Facts About Accidental Co-Sleeping here.

4. What Do Babies and Toddlers Sleep In As Pajamas?

A lot of parents ask us about the best sleepwear for their babies and toddlers. There are quite a few factors to consider with safety and comfort at the top of the list. We’ve got you covered with tips and recommendations to keep your baby safe and comfortable from newborn to toddler-hood.

Click to find out our top tips for safe and cozy sleepwear here!

3. Cry It Out For Naps? Here’s What You Need To Know.

It’s no secret that naps are often a lot tougher than nights when you’re talking about good, quality sleep. Daytime sleep is a lot different than night sleep and many children need more space to learn to sleep independently for naps.

If you are considering a cry-it-out approach to help your baby get their best daytime sleep, click here to find out what you need to know before you start.

2. Baby Waking Up Too Early? Here Are 5 Tips To Help.

Early wakings really are one of the toughest sleep challenges to fix! So, it’s no wonder help for early mornings is consistently one our most popular topics.

For more answers to help your early riser, click here!

1. Newborn Not Sleeping? Here Are 6 Reasons Why.

Most of us know that newborns sleep A LOT! And although some newborns can sleep for longer stretches during the day or night, this is definitely not true for every baby. Our article will help you get a feel for what “normal” newborn sleep looks like, and 6 reasons your newborn may not be getting enough sleep.

For help putting all the pieces of the newborn sleep puzzle together, click here!

Get the Healthy and Peaceful Sleep you deserve in 2017, With Help From The Baby Sleep Site®!

Ready to banish your sleep challenges once and for all, and start the new year off rested and refreshed? We can help. Our team of expert sleep consultants is standing by, ready to craft a Personalized Sleep Plan™ that’s 100% personalized to fit your baby’s needs and personality, and to match your parenting philosophies and goals.

Browse our list of consultation package options here.

Once you make your choice and purchase, you will immediately receive an e-mail with your Helpdesk login information. You’ll be able to log in and get started right away!

Want more information about how personalized help works? Check out our FAQ page here, and get answers. You can also take a tour of the Helpdesk here.

Which articles were your favorite this year? Did any particular favorites stand out? Share your thoughts with us!

Co Sleeping With Baby: A Solution For Sleep Problems?

By Emily DeJeu

Co sleeping tends to be a controversial topic; some parents are adamant that co sleeping is the best and most natural sleeping arrangement for all families, while others are just as adamant about the dangers of co sleeping with a baby.

All that aside, though, what we’ve found in our years spent working with tired families is that, far from being interested in the debate, exhausted moms and dads have a far more pressing about question co sleeping:

“If I co sleep, will my baby and I FINALLY get some uninterrupted sleep?”

That’s understandable – for every parent who co sleeps out of deep attachment parenting convictions, there are many more who are interested in co sleeping purely because they are sooooo tired, and will do just about anything for better sleep.

And that’s the topic we’re examining today, parents – will co sleeping work as a solution to your family’s sleep challenges? Read on for details!

Co Sleeping Versus Bed Sharing: Defining Our Terms

First, it’s important to remember that the term “co sleeping” means different things to different people. Many automatically assume that co sleeping means parents sharing a bed with their baby, but that’s not technically true. That’s actually called “bed sharing.” Co sleeping can also mean parents and baby share a room; more specifically, that arrangement is called “room sharing“.

How Co Sleeping Can Help Your Baby’s Sleep Problems

Co sleeping can, in some cases, help both you and your baby get more sleep, and can solve the problem of constant nighttime waking:

Co sleeping tends to make breastfeeding easier, as there is much less back-and-forth between rooms.
Co sleeping allows for greater soothing: if your baby is in bed with you, or right next to your bed in a bassinet, you can simply reach a hand out to offer comfort if she fusses.
Dr. James McKenna, a renowned anthropologist, points to research which indicates that babies who sleep right very near their mothers tend to fuss less and actually sleep better, due to the calming influence of mom’s smell, mom’s warmth, and the sound of mom’s breathing.
If you work full time outside the home, co sleeping can be a great way to get some quality time with your baby. And if you breastfeed, and need to nurse more frequently at night, co sleeping can make that easier.

Why Co Sleeping May Not Solve Your Baby’s Sleep Problems

It’s not all good news, however; while co sleeping is a great sleep solution for some, it doesn’t work well for others:

Some moms who try bed sharing become so anxious and paranoid about keeping the baby safe in bed that their own sleep is actual worse!
If you’re a sensitive sleeper who tends to wake at every little sound, having your baby in the same room with you may prove to be too noisy, as babies tend to make lots of little noises as they sleep.
Speaking of little noises – some parents report that their babies actually sleep worse during co sleeping, because the parents themselves are overly attentive and pick up the baby at every little sound!
If your baby’s sleep association isn’t one that can be met through co sleeping, then co sleeping may not help you much. For instance, if your baby has to be rocked to sleep, and needs that movement to fall back to sleep quickly, then even if you co sleep, you’re still going to need to get up and rock the baby after every waking.
Some parents who co sleep for the sake of convenience end up discovering that co sleeping has itself become a sleep association that they have to undo later. While this isn’t necessarily a problem – there are ways you can gently transition from co sleeping (and we have a day-by-day co sleeping transition plan in our Members Area designed to help you do just that), some parents don’t want to inadvertently create new sleep challenges by co sleeping, so they opt to avoid it and work on their babies’ existing sleep associations.

Co Sleeping Can Be A Great Short Term Baby Sleep Solution For Some Families

In our experience, many families find co sleeping to be a good short term solution; it allows everyone to the whole family to get a little more sleep at night. However, unless you have plans to co sleep long term (because you are a proponent of attachment parenting, perhaps, or for other reasons), co sleeping isn’t really a solution to your sleep challenges. Most babies who wake frequently at night and take short, inconsistent naps usually have one or more sleep associations that are preventing them from learning to self soothe. If you ultimately want your baby to transition your baby from co sleeping, and have him sleep in his own sleeping area, separate from yours, then while co sleeping can be a great temporary fix, it won’t be a lasting solution. Instead, you’ll want to work on gently weaning your baby away from his sleep associations, and teaching him to fall asleep independently – this is the process we call sleep training. And it’s a process we happen to specialize in!

One of the easiest and fastest ways to get expert sleep coaching help is to try a personalized consultation from The Baby Sleep Site^®? Your consultation will allow you to work one-on-one with an expert sleep consultant. Your consultant will craft a Personalized Sleep Plan™ just for your family, walk you through each step of implementing the plan at home, and then will support you throughout the process.

Browse our list of consultation package options here.

Once you make your choice and purchase, you will immediately receive an e-mail with your Helpdesk login information. You’ll be able to login and start your Family Sleep History form right away – it’s that simple!

Want more information about how personalized help works? Check out our FAQ page here, and get answers. You can also take a tour of the Helpdesk.

Does your baby sleep like a baby, or are you working towards “sleep like a baby” status? Share your stories and questions with us!

Our Members Area is packed with exclusive content and resources: e-Books, assessments, detailed case studies, expert advice, peer support, and more. It actually costs less to join than buying products separately! As a member, you’ll also enjoy a weekly chat with an expert sleep consultant. And the best part – members receive 20% off all sleep consultation services!

Essential Keys to Newborn Sleep Essential Keys to Your Newborn’s Sleep is THE newborn sleep book that will help you to not only improve your newborn’s sleep using gentle, sleep-inducing routines – it will also answer your feeding and newborn care questions. You can even buy a bundle package that includes the e-book AND a Personalized Sleep Plan™ PLUS a follow-up email to use for further support!

For those persistent nighttime struggles, check out The 3 Step System to Help Your Baby Sleep. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your baby sleep through the night.

If you’re looking for ways to get your baby or toddler into a healthy sleeping routine during the day, I encourage you to explore Mastering Naps and Schedules, a comprehensive guide to napping routines, nap transitions, and all the other important “how-tos” of good baby sleep. With over 45 sample sleep schedules and planning worksheets, Mastering Naps and Schedules is a hands-on tool ideal for any parenting style.

For those persistent toddler sleep struggles, check out The 5 Step System to Help Your Toddler Sleep. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your toddler sleep through the night and enjoy a better daytime schedule.

Why I’ll Never Co-Sleep Again (…Maybe)

By Gina Jacobs Thomas

I never really gave our sleeping situation much thought before we had kids. We weren’t adamant crib folks, but we weren’t entirely certain that co-sleeping was a good fit either.

Then our son was born early and was roughly the size of a cantaloupe when we brought him home. We were so afraid we would roll over him in our sleep (or worse, my postpartum hunger would mistake him for a sleeve of Girl Scout cookies and I would gobble him up as a midnight snack) that it solved our sleeping arrangements for us. Plus, our house was small enough to see his crib from our bed, so it felt like he was almost in the same room.

My daughter’s arrival forced my husband and I to move downstairs to the basement bedroom so she could have a room of her own. To avoid having to run up and down stairs all night long, we tried having her sleep in our room when we brought her home.

However, she wasn’t the quietest of sleepers, grunting and whinnying throughout the night. It didn’t matter if she was in her bassinet, nestled in between my husband and I, or resting on my chest, she still made our room sound like a farm at daybreak. So, to try and encourage more restful sleep for all of us, we put her back in her crib.

It wasn’t that we didn’t agree with co-sleeping, it just didn’t seem right for us.

But we would give it the old college try on occasion.

When my son was in Kindergarten, he started asking my husband or I to “sleep over” in his bed from time to time, and since he was an easy sleeper, we’d take him up on it.

Was it the most restful night? It wasn’t ideal, and there was an encroachment of space and the scattered kick or two. But it wasn’t the worst night’s sleep ever.

That would happen many years later.

The Night I Co-Slept With My Daughter (Or, The Night Of No Sleep)

On vacation one summer, the pull-out sofa bed in the living room that my husband and I planned on sleeping was about as comfortable as sleeping in a sink hole, so we put the kids in one of the double beds in the bedroom so we could take the other one when we went to sleep later.

Five minutes after bedtime, my son (a “head hits the pillow and he’s out” kind of kid) couldn’t handle the full-scale monologue to her stuffed animal that my daughter needs to perform to get to sleep. He came marching out to the living room and declared “This isn’t working” with the conviction of a Forbes Fortune 100 CEO.

So, it was decided that we would split the kids up between the two beds so they could both fall asleep as they needed to. When it was time for the adults to head to bed, we’d each sleep with one of the kids. My husband took our son, and I took our daughter’s bed.

Crawling in to bed next to her limp, sleeping body was adorably cute and heartwarming. And the first time she snuggled up to me and whispered “Mama” in her sleep with a grin on her face was touching.

But it was all downhill from there.

The prefix “co” in co-sleep indicated that both of us would be sleeping, right? Yet, it didn’t feel so symbiotic.

My daughter was like a heat seeking missile, finding me no matter how far away I scooted, and at one point, half of my body was draped off the side of the mattress, as I held on tight for what little real estate I had left on the bed.

And then, there was the kicking. My goodness, the kicking. And the nudging. And the elbows and knees in my back, face, chest, throat.

I don’t think I slept longer than 5-minutes at a time before being pounded like a whack-a-mole. With each hit, I found myself praying for daylight. And when it finally came and my sleeping beauty opened her eyes in the morning, I asked her how she slept.

Certainly, she couldn’t have had a restful sleep, right? I mean, with all that movement? For crying out loud, she fell out of the bed at one point!

“Good. Really good.”

Well, at least one of us did.

I resorted to the pull-out sofa the rest of the trip, grateful that despite the 15-degree slant I was sleeping on, and the coil marks on my torso when I woke, I knew I’d at least escape being pummeled in my sleep.

Still, there’s a part of me that wishes it would have worked out. I wanted it to. I had visions of my daughter and I cuddling and spooning during a rejuvenating night of sleep. Perhaps one day in the future we’ll try it again.

When she’s older. And I’ve purchased full body protective gear.

Co-Sleeping Or Not: HERE’S How To Solve Your Sleep Problems

Whether you co-sleep or not, one thing is certain: if your baby is up all night, then you are, too! If you’re losing precious sleep, but aren’t sure how to solve your little one’s sleep challenges, why not try a personalized consultation from The Baby Sleep Site^®? Your consultation will allow you to work one-on-one with an expert sleep consultant. Your consultant will craft a Personalized Sleep Plan™ just for your family, walk you through each step of implementing the plan at home, and then will support you throughout the process.

Browse our list of consultation package options here.

Want more information about how personalized help works? Check out our FAQ page here, and get answers. You can also take a tour of the Helpdesk.

Your turn, parents – are you committed co-sleepers? Are you co-sleeping to survive, but wishing you could stop? Share your story with us!

Attachment Parenting and Sleep Training: Can They Really Go Together?

By Emily DeJeu

You know a myth we hear often, that really gets us riled up? It’s the myth that attachment parents can’t, or shouldn’t, sleep train. We’ve worked with many attachment parents over the years who’ve told us that initially, they were very, VERY hesitant to sleep coach, because they felt that it would surely mean they had to compromise all their AP values and principles. Some of these parents struggled with chronic exhaustion and sleeplessness for years before finally reaching out to us for help.

Well, we’re ready to set the record straight: attachment parents CAN sleep train in a way that is both effective and that prioritizes their parenting philosophy.

Miriam Chickering, an experienced sleep consultant, can vouch for that as she has spent several years helping other families sleep coach in a way that aligns with their philosophies, and believes wholeheartedly in the value of sleep coaching — AND she practices attachment parenting principles in her own home, with her 6 kiddos! So she’s the perfect person to discuss this topic.

Keep reading, and hear Miriam’s thoughts on how attachment parents can sleep coach effectively and gently, as well as her tips for helping attachment parents get more sleep, and build healthy sleep habits in their little ones.

How Attachment Parents Can Sleep Train WITHOUT Compromising Their Values and Beliefs

You may be thinking that attachment parenting and sleep coaching won’t mix, but they really can go together very well at The Baby Sleep Site^®. How is that possible? Because we use a holistic approach to sleep – one that accounts for all elements of a child’s emotional, mental, and physical development. This holistic approach allows crying to be minimized, which is crucial to attachment parents who are embarking on sleep coaching.

One of the first steps in working with attachment parents on sleep coaching is to do what is called “setting the stage for sleep”. Here are a few things we look at to make sure we’ve properly set the stage:

Is the schedule right? (We look at the timing of naps and feedings in relation to morning wake time and bedtime, and we see how overall nap amounts match up with nighttime sleep amounts.)
Do we have a solid routine? (Nap time and bedtime routines are key for signaling to your kiddo that it’s time to settle in and sleep.)
Any medical concerns? (We address these right away, before we begin sleep coaching, to ensure that your little one is in excellent health before we start working on sleep.)
How is feeding going? (If you’re nursing, we’ll take a careful look at how breastfeeding is going, and address any concerns you may have about milk supply, etc. Similarly, if you’re formula-feeding, or if your little one is on solids, we’ll examine feeding amounts and timing to ensure that your little one is properly nourished.)

Often, making small changes in one or more of these areas goes a long way towards improving sleep, and it ensures that we aren’t overlooking anything when we begin working on sleep habits. It also means we have less work to do in sleep training, and that in turn means we will likely have more success using gentle methods with minimal crying.

Additionally, I always like to point out that working on these elements is a great way to increase your communication and bonding with your baby. And who doesn’t love that? 😉

Once we’ve properly set the stage for sleep, we want to move on to resolving unwanted sleep associations. This is really the “sleep coaching” part of what we do – and this is what tends to scare attachment parents away, honestly. But here’s what I want to emphasize: there are very gentle ways to resolve unwanted sleep associations. I know that many attachment parents hear “sleep training” and immediately think crying baby, who screams for hours, but that absolutely does not have to happen…there are so many options between ‘sleepless nights’ and ‘screaming baby’!

Now, speaking of resolving unwanted sleep associations – let’s first define ‘unwanted sleep associations’. An unwanted sleep association is something that your baby relies on to go to sleep that ALSO causes sleep problems throughout the night. If your baby is rocked to sleep and then sleeps for 5 hours, you probably do not have an unwanted sleep association; however if your baby is rocked to sleep and wakes the moment you stop providing the movement, that’s when you have an unwanted sleep association, since you’ll likely have to spend your nights rocking instead of sleeping!

Similarly, if you’re co-sleeping, and your baby wakes periodically through the night needing to nurse, but then falls right back to sleep, this may not be a problem for you at all. But if your baby is waking every hour needing to nurse, and then wants to stay awake and hang out with you for awhile, that is almost certainly an unwanted sleep association!

For some parents, a sleep association will become unwanted only when it causes 5 or more sleep interruptions, or when it keeps them awake virtually all night. For other parents, a sleep association becomes unwanted when it causes just 1 or 2 unnecessary sleep interruptions. Really, the line between ‘okay’ and ‘unwanted’ is personal, and varies from family to family.

Once you’ve identified the sleep association that’s causing a problem – be it nursing or holding or rocking, or perhaps another association – we focus on gently fading out that sleep association and providing comfort in other ways, while also gradually helping your baby to learn to fall asleep without any help from you. It’s amazing how well this can work when all the groundwork has been laid in a very methodical and comprehensive way and then each step is broken down into easily attainable goals.

Advice From Miriam For Co-Sleeping Parents Who Want To Sleep Coach

Obviously, as attachment parents, we have the goal of limited crying and plenty of soothing and comfort for our babies during the sleep coaching process. But if you are currently sleep coaching, and want to continue to co-sleep while sleep coaching, you’ll need to follow a few unique tips to ensure you see progress.

For starters, end your “hands-on” soothing about 5 minutes before you want your child to fall asleep. This ensures that you aren’t inadvertently putting your baby to sleep; remember, the goal of sleep coaching is that your child learns to fall asleep on his own.

I also urge parents to choose a 4 to 5 hour sleep stretch that belongs to them. For some parents this will occur at the parent’s bedtime, after a final Fill-Up feed (if your baby is still young enough/needs to receive a fill-up feed before you go to bed). For others, it may be from midnight to 5 am. The important thing is not to feed your baby in this one time slot. Let your spouse or partner give comfort if your baby wakes, but do not offer a feeding. Within a few weeks of beginning this “sacred slot of sleep”, your baby will most likely stop waking during this time, and everyone will get at least one lengthy stretch of sleep at night. Remember that you may have to offer an extra feeding at another time of the day or night to make up for a missed feeding at this time, but you NEED your “Sacred Slot of Sleep”. It will help you become a better parent during the other 19 hours of the day!

4 Tips All Attachment Parents Can Use To Gently Build Healthy Sleep Habits

I wanted to end by sharing some really easy, basic tips that any parent can do to help promote better sleep and healthier sleep habits. Use these in conjunction with sleep coaching, or – if you’re not quite ready to sleep coach yet – use them on their own.

Start your day in the same 30 minute time window each day, even if you and baby had a rough night. Utilizing a fixed point like this keeps your schedule from getting too far off track.
Mind your child’s “nap gaps” (the time between daytime naps) and be sure to use the schedule that’s appropriate for your child’s age
Many attachment parents use the ‘Pantley Pull-Off’ to gently transition their baby away from the breast. It works like this – you allow your baby to keep sucking at the breast until he’s drowsy, then you gently break the seal with your finger and pull your breast away. It works for many moms, but if the Pantley Pull-Off isn’t working, I recommend you stop using it and try a different method. Consider fading, or pick-up put down.
If you are co-sleeping, at bedtime, stop a feeding at least 15 minutes before your child falls to sleep, and – as mentioned earlier – stop your hands-on soothing 5 minutes before your child is due to fall asleep.

Still Not Sure If You Can Mix Attachment Parenting And Sleep Coaching?

Meet Rebecca, a lovely mom from Massachusetts who follows attachment parenting principles, but was drowning in exhaustion from her son’s frequent night waking. Rebecca wanted her son to sleep better, but she was absolutely not willing to resort to crying methods. Read Rebecca’s story below, and learn how Nicole and the team at The Baby Sleep Site^® were able to help Rebecca and her son get the sleep they needed, in a way that matched Rebecca’s parenting philosophy…

“When I came across The Baby Sleep Site, it was quite by accident. I wasn’t looking for it, but I stumbled across it while searching for websites that addressed sleep issues. At the time, I had a 10-month old son who was sleeping in a sidecar arrangement (crib up against my bed with one side missing) and waking 4-6 times every night. He went through a bad time early on: he had reflux for the first 9 months of his life, plus around month 5-6 he had a bad reaction to an antibiotic treatment and wound up with serious gastrointestinal issues (waking every 2-3 hours with diarrhea). Nursing was always a method of deep relaxation leading to sleep and had now become a necessity to get my son to sleep even after all the physical issues were over. His napping was always very poor and then around 7 months of age the only time he slept for naps was in the car. If I tried to put him in his crib or even lay with him in bed, he’d only sleep for 30-45 minutes once a day, twice only if I was very lucky. While I had done a ton of reading on the subject of sleep issues and Attachment Parenting (the methodology I had followed since birth) and tried to believe that someday my son would “grow up” and would grow out of this stage he was in, I was feeling a tremendous uneasiness about how things were going. Deep down I felt like he was missing out on precious sleep, even though his attitude was positive most of the time. Something in his eyes told me he was more tired than he let on.

When I first entered the site, I was more skeptical than I can ever express in words. The first thing I did was download the “5 Ways To Help Your Baby Sleep Through The Night” and “7 Common Napping Mistakes” figuring they’re free and maybe they would help. No dice – not for my situation. I started receiving the newsletter and reading Nicole’s in-depth commentaries. At the end of each newsletter is the invitation to visit the services page and/or to contact Nicole with questions. For weeks I saved these newsletters and kept mulling over and over whether I wanted to spend the money to start emailing Nicole. Although everything sounded legitimate, I thought there had to be something I was missing and that it would be a mere waste of money. Another online scam. Finally I couldn’t take it any longer – I decided simply to start by taking Nicole up on her continuous offer to “email with questions.” I gave her a very brief synopsis of the situation and asked if she felt it was something she could indeed help me with. Her email back to me was quick and left me feeling very positive. I decided to purchase an email package and get to work trying to help my son, and myself for that matter.

What transpired from that point on (we started our work together at the beginning of August) was nothing short of miraculous. Granted, the first day or two was the most difficult but in retrospect, there were close to no tears from either my son or me. Being a Christian woman I’d been praying for something to happen to bring the needed rest for my son. I would pray daily, before every nap and before every bedtime, to “please let Ben get the sleep he needs.” Enter Nicole and The Baby Sleep Site. I can honestly say that “meeting” Nicole and taking the financial and emotional risk that it felt like at the time, was the answer to prayer that I’d been looking for. Nicole had given me a multi-step approach to getting my son to disassociate the breast with falling asleep at nap time (we worked on that first, which incidentally is opposite to what Nicole would normally do) and from there another step-by-step approach to get him disassociating the breast with falling asleep at night, and then to get him into his crib completely away from my bed. From there we were going to work on getting him into his own room and getting him to allow being put to bed by other people (his own father included). I am grateful to report that within 3-4 weeks, my son was taking two 1.5-2 hour naps in his own crib (with all 4 sides up) and being put down with NO breastfeeding at all and completely awake/sitting up. NO TEARS. Not only that, but the bedtime issues were resolved almost on their own, just utilizing some of the same methods we’d come up with to fix the napping issues. Something I expected to take months, took mere weeks, days even. My son is now, and has been for quite some time, sleeping 12 hours a night and two 1.5-2 hours naps a day. No more night waking or nursing to sleep. All 98% tear-free. Any change as major as the one my son experienced is most likely going to cause some degree of sadness, and invoke tears, depending on the sensitivity of the child. For the changes and benefits I see now in my son’s sleeping habits, the 10 minutes he cried for a couple of days is so worth it – and I was completely against ANY amount of crying around “sleep training.” With Nicole’s help and understanding, something you’ll never find in a book, I was able to truly “train” my son in the most gentle and personalized manner I could ever find.

God bless you, Nicole, for the help you have provided to me and countless other families. You were the answer I was seeking. I wish you continued success in your endeavor to bring peace in the form of needed sleep to many, many more babies and parents to come!

-Rebecca
Westfield, MA

Personalized Sleep Help For All Parenting Styles

You don’t have to sacrifice your parenting philosophy in order to sleep train – there is a sleep training style to suit every parenting style! Our consultants at The Baby Sleep Site^® specialize in creating Personalized Sleep Plans™ that are customized to your own parenting philosophy, and that will NEVER make you feel guilty or pressured to give up your unique parenting style. Even better, once you have your Personalized Sleep Plan™, your consultant will walk you through each step of implementing it at home.

Browse our list of consultation package options here.
Once you make your choice and purchase, you will immediately receive an e-mail with your Helpdesk login information. You’ll be able to log in and start right away – it’s that simple!

Want more information about how personalized help works? Check out our FAQ page here, and get answers. You can also take a tour of the Helpdesk.

Sleep Resources That WORK

Essential Keys to Your Newborn’s Sleep is THE newborn sleep book that will help you to not only improve your newborn’s sleep using gentle, sleep-inducing routines – it will also answer your feeding and newborn care questions. You can even buy a bundle package that includes the e-book AND a Personalized Sleep Plan™ PLUS a follow-up email to use for further support!

For those persistent nighttime struggles, check out The 3 Step System to Help Your Baby Sleep. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your baby sleep through the night.

If you’re looking for ways to get your baby or toddler into a healthy sleeping routine during the day, I encourage you to explore Mastering Naps and Schedules, a comprehensive guide to napping routines, nap transitions, and all the other important “how-tos” of good baby sleep. With over 45 sample sleep schedules and planning worksheets, Mastering Naps and Schedules is a hands-on tool ideal for any parenting style.

For those persistent toddler sleep struggles, check out The 5 Step System to Help Your Toddler Sleep. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your toddler sleep through the night and enjoy a better daytime schedule.

So, what do you think? Can you mix attachment parenting with sleep training?

Taking the Cry Out of Cry It Out

By Nicole Johnson

No Cry Sleep All of us are looking for ways to help our babies sleep with as little crying as possible. No crying would be ideal and surprisingly (when I look back at our long and difficult journey), the first few nights I actually helped my challenging sleeper of a son learn to fall asleep with virtually NO tears. It took TWO LONG HOURS for TWO LONG NIGHTS, but by the third night he did it in just 20 minutes and then on the 4th night with no tears into his crib (we were trying to stop cosleeping because it wasn’t working for us). It was a test of my patience when I knew nursing him to sleep would have made him fall asleep in less than two minutes. It was frustrating for both of us, but I was able to keep him from crying by using many of my mommy “tools” and doing anything but nursing him (I had already nursed him for a feeding before we started, so he was not hungry) but not until he was all the way asleep.

Learning about sleep associations was the single-most important thing that helped me start getting better sleep for my son (which was and still is very important for his happiness and behavior) and therefore for the rest of the family. It seems so obvious now, but back then I surely did not “get it” why he would wake up the minute I put him down. Didn’t he “need” to nurse to fall asleep because of the sucking reflexes of a baby being so strong that I read so much about and because he never used a pacifier? Once I understood that nursing to sleep and rocking to sleep became the things he thought he needed to fall asleep and the thing he needed recreated all night, the next step was to figure out a way to help him learn to do that without feeling like I was taking away an emotional attachment that nursing was and feeling like I was damaging him, without replacing the nursing or rocking with something else I’d have to recreate and with no tears, if possible.

Keeping your eye on the long-term goal is the #1 key to successfully helping your baby from no crying to sleep. It will always be easier right this minute to go ahead and nurse, give her a bottle, give her the pacifier, rock her to sleep, bounce on a ball, put her in a carseat on the dryer, put her in the car and drive around, walk her around, dance and sing than to take the time to teach her a new skill. Just like it’s easier to feed your baby than to let her learn to feed herself or put on your toddler’s shoes rather than let him try by himself, it will be easier to do it for them. But, for long-term progress and to let her learn how to do something herself, you have to let her try and you have to avoid doing it for her. Take it as slow as you want, but it is a learning process that you need to get out of the way of for it to work. Sure, you can wait to see when she might learn it on her own, after all no one goes to college not knowing how to put on their shoes, but is a month, six months, 16 months, 2 1/2 years, or 4 years of sleep deprivation worth it to wait?

Who knew when you were pregnant that you’d have to TEACH your baby to sleep? Teach your baby to read, teach your baby sign language, or teach your baby to write, but teach them to sleep? Such a foreign concept, but it’s true. To teach a baby how to sleep without much YOU need to recreate all day and night is a challenge and depending on the baby’s temperament and tendency to “fight sleep” or not will be the deciding factor on how difficult it is to teach your baby. Some don’t have much learning to do while others will struggle on and off for so long that you don’t know even know when you’re done teaching them.

Unfortunately, my no cry sleep results were short-lived in our house and we struggled a lot around sleep, but it has made me so happy that the things I’ve learned since then has helped me help other parents with no cry sleep methods. I’ve helped a mom stop sleeping in a glider with her 8 month old baby and a 16 month old transition to the crib, just to name two, with no cry sleep methods. Those were a couple of really tough cases, too!

Cry it out is certainly not easy and certainly not the first thing we try as parents, but it makes me wonder if I had someone like ME when I was in need of sleep support whether I would have avoided our tears or not. I never regret it, I know it did not change my baby’s personality, and I guess we will never know, but I’m fortunate to be able to use my knowledge in my quest to help others.

No cry sleep methods are not for the faint of heart if you have a challenging sleeper and they take more time, but with a strong support system, they are possible to put into practice.