Comments

  1. Alicia Stanley says

    We share a house with my sister and brother in law who is a shift worker. So is my parnter. So there is often no spare room in the house to put an unsettled baby! I dilly dallyed about putting the baby in the toddlers room. In the end I just had to – parnter needed his sleep. Turns out the toddler can sleep through ANYTHING as the sleep training I’d done had turned herinto a ‘good’ sleeper. She might sit up and look at me settling her brother but rolls over and goes back to sleep. He on the other hand, can wake 10 or more times a night! At least once a week. And good night is only on d or twice and he is 13 months old. I suspect her snoring, grunting , yabbering in her sleep wakes him. I do try to have them awake in the room together occasionally if they are in good moods and let them laugh till they ventral my fall asleep. But mainly it’s best if the older child is already asleep ( 20 mins after going to bed) before putting the baby in

  2. Kelly says

    We have recently had to downsize to a 2 bedroom unit, and had to put my 6 month old and 2 1/2 year old in the same room. We were lucky that the baby was sleeping through the night, so havent had the problem of waking each other through the night, however we need to ensure that either one or the other is asleep first at both nap time and night time. If they are both going to sleep at the same time, my toddler gets very excited and wont stop talking to the baby. The other issue is the toddler waking the baby whenever she wakes up in the morning, luckily it is not normally till about 6:30am. This has just meant shifting the baby’s schedule to start at 6:30 rather the the 7am that she was on before.

  3. says

    Thank you so much for this article Emily. This is exactly what I needed to read! I have a 3 year old, and an 8 month old, and have decided to keep the younger one in our room for a bit longer, but I was wondering how I would ever get them both to sleep in the same room at a later stage. These are very practical and helpful tips, particularly the idea of using the Pack-n-Play in another room, I hadn’t thought of that. I also find white noise to be invaluable. Thanks again for your tips!!

  4. Emily DeJeu says

    @ Alicia Stanley — glad to hear your toddler’s sleeping soundly (even if your baby isn’t!) My oldest son is like that now; he can sleep through ANYTHING. I think having to share a room with his younger brother has helped with that, actually. :)

    @ Kelly — YES on the toddler waking the baby too early! I remember that well. My toddler would practically be up with the sun, and of course, his first course of action every morning was to go and shout at his brother to “wake up!” They quickly ended up on the same morning wake-up schedule! 😉

  5. Emily DeJeu says

    @ Melanie Thomassian — thanks for your kind feedback! So glad you’re finding these tips useful. I hope they’re helpful to you when you do put your two in the same room, and that they’ll spare you some exhaustion. 😉 Truly, room-sharing is one of those things that gets better with time. A little rough at first, but eventually, you’ll struggle to remember what it was like before your little ones were in the same room!

  6. Brenda says

    We have 19 month old TWINS! Boy & Girl that have had to share a room since birth and shared the same crib til they were 5 months old. (two cribs now) Our son is a light sleeper and wakes at the smallest noise (grrrr) but our daughter sleeps like a log, can hardly wake her up sometimes. When our son wakes up and cries our daughter usually just grunts and goes back to sleep. Sometimes when we put them down for a nap they jump and “talk” to each other for a while. It’s actually good… they get the wiggles out and then finally just lay down and fall asleep. We let them work through it for a while instead of going in and laying them back down which actually is counterproductive. For those odd times when one doesn’t want to sleep we take them out of the room to have one-on-one time while the other sleeps. It seems to work for the most part but they have been on a very strict sleep schedule since birth. They know what to excpect!!!!

  7. Emily DeJeu says

    @ Brenda — Wow; sounds like you have the whole twins thing down pat! Good for you!!

    I agree with your comment on “letting them work through it” instead of intervening at each little noise. I usually do that with my older two as well. Usually, they end up falling asleep without any intervening on my part, which I think is nicer for all of us. :)

    Thanks for commenting, Brenda! And lots of strength and energy to you today; with twins, you surely need all you can get! 😉

  8. says

    Hi there Emily,
    Really, putting young toddlers to sleep once they wake up in the middle of the night isn’t that easy. I think I should try your suggestions and hope for better results.

  9. Emily DeJeu says

    @ Emily — I hope these tips will help make things a bit easier for you! I know they helped me in the beginning, when my boys were first sharing a room.

    Good luck to you! And thanks for commenting :)

  10. Lydie says

    Hi

    I’m expecting twins and I already have a son who will be 3 when the babies arrive.
    Do you think it’s a good idea to have everybody in the same room? If so, from what age?

    Thanks

  11. Emily DeJeu says

    @ Lydie — congratulations on your expected twins! Very exciting :)

    Good question about room-sharing. At first, you’ll probably want to keep your twins and your toddler separate. As Nicole notes in the article, it isn’t always safe to have toddlers in the same room as their baby siblings; toddlers may put small toys or snacks into the crib, for example, or may attempt to cover the baby with a blanket.

    However, once you feel confident that your son wouldn’t be a risk to the twins, you could consider putting them into the same room. You’d probably want to wait to do that until your twins are sleeping reasonably well at night; room-sharing doesn’t work so well if one child is up frequently during the night.

    Down the road, of course, having three children in one room might get cramped (especially as your children get bigger!) But in the short term, that could definitely work. :)

    Thanks for commenting, Lydie! And best of luck to you, as you prepare for life with three kiddos!

  12. Ginette says

    Hello,
    We planned on having our 2 year old & baby share a room, however our 2 year will go down for naps great, but will often fight bedtime and can be very vocal about it. I have been waking him up from naps earlier to try and ensure 5 awake hours before bed. Still, some nights are great, but some are a battle.

    In the last 6 months we worked on babies sleep & thanks to the advice on this site he goes down great & generally only feeds twice in a night.
    Our current plan is we put baby to bed in our room & when he wakes up for the 1st feed we move him into the crib in his big brothers room. So far neither have woken each other up.

    Any ideas on how we can transfer to both bedtimes in the same room? Or should I just be happy with things the way they are?

    Thanks :-)

  13. Emily DeJeu says

    @ Ginette — Sounds like you have a pretty good system to me! It could be that your 2 year old is going through the 2 year sleep regression (read more about it here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/toddlers/5-things-about-2-year-old-toddler-sleep/) It’s likely that his bedtime battling will pass with time.

    As for your baby — things sound great, sleep-wise!

    I’d suggest waiting until your 2 year old has passed the regression phase, and until bedtime returns to normal. At that point, you could certainly try doing bedtime in the same room (especially if they’re at a point now where they’re going to bed at roughly the same time.) When you’re ready to do that, you can just do one big bedtime routine that involves both kids — everyone reads a story together, etc.

    It’ll probably take your kids a few nights (at least) to adjust to going to bed together, in the same room. But if you can push through that, in no time, it’ll be easy. I’d still suggest having a back-up plan, though, for those nights when your baby won’t sleep well. Maybe keep a crib (or pack-n-play, or something) in your room for a little while longer.

    Thanks for commenting, Ginette! And good luck to you :)

  14. lusi says

    Oh man, thank God I found this. My 13 month old is sleeping through and we’re expecting another baby in August, 11 weeks from now. I’ve been thinking about how to have them share a room. And needed to know how to handle it without the baby’s waking disturb the other one’s sleeping. I’ve been considering a bassinet in our room until she’s ready say by three months to transition her. I have been nervous about a regression.

  15. Emily DeJeu says

    @ lusi – so glad you found this helpful! Most of our clients usually, in this situation, sleep the newborn in their room for a bit, and it sounds like that might be a good solution for you, too. The main thing, when having sibling share a room, is that you want to be sure the older child won’t be a danger to the baby in any way – for example, that he/she won’t try to cover up the baby with a blanket, or drop stuffed animals into the baby’s crib, or “feed” the baby Cheerios or something. Given that your older child is only 13 months, it may make sense to wait a bit until you put your kiddos in the same room, until you’re certain that your older toddler understands how to keep the baby safe.

    Thanks so much for commenting, lusi – best of luck to you and to your growing family! :)

  16. Mussy says

    I loved your article but I’m a bit at a loss. I have a nine month old and a 22 month old. They both sleep thru the night but occasionally will cry from a scary dream etc.
    I tried putting them to bed in the same room one night- they have the same bedtime big I put the baby to sleep first and after he fell asleep I brought in my daughter. At first she was quiet but she had a hard time falling asleep with him there and starting talking to him, he woke up and two hours later they both fell asleep.
    Things would’ve been good but he cried out at about 4 am and woke her up so instead of both going back to sleep as they normally would, he woke her up and after a half hour of them two playing I took him to my large closet and both fell asleep within two min.
    Tonight I had no patience for a repeat so I did not try again but I do want them in the same room.
    Both sleep thru noise pretty well but can’t fall asleep with the other in the room and will wake up if he cries more than 2-3 min.
    What do you suggest now?

  17. Emily DeJeu says

    @ Mussy – I can so relate to this; my two older children (both boys) are only 18 months apart, and they’ve shared a room for years now. While it’s really easy today, those early days of room-sharing were tough! First off, I’d strongly suggest that, if you haven’t already, you try a white noise machine, or maybe a white noise app that plays on your phone. White noise is such a lifesaver when you’re dealing with a situation in which one child keeps waking up the other. I think that may help this problem immensely. Another option would be to experiment with putting your kids to bed at different times. For instance, it may be best to put your daughter down first, wait until she’s deeply asleep (maybe 30-60 minutes after she falls asleep), and then put the baby down. I think you’ll also want to keep a “back up” option available for those nights when things just fall apart – sounds like you have a large closet that works, so I’d suggest keeping that available as an emergency sleeping area for the baby, just so that you have a plan B scenario you can use.

    Finally, in my experience, room-sharing is one of those things that takes patience. Eventually, your children will “learn” how to sleep in the same room, and once the newness of the arrangement has worn off, you’ll find that they really aren’t as interested in playing with each other in the middle of the night as they are now.

    Hope this helps, Mussy! Best of luck to you :)

  18. Sara says

    We only have 2 bedrooms and three kids. Year old twins and our 2,5 year old. And they share their bedroom. I do to remember much from the beginning since I was so tired all the time lol but it got easier. Now twins go to bed first, they still sleep in the same crib in separate ends or snuggle with each other,and then older will fall asleep on our bed or sometimes in his own, if in ours I just move him in his own, luckily he is a good sleeper so it won’t wake him up, no he won’t wake up if twins cry during the night. Luckily twins are good sleepers too so I have been very blessed. When they were tiny they slept in the living room in a playpen and after a mighnight feed I think I moved them into the crib. But looking forward when we have our renos done that they can have separate space if wanted.

  19. Emily DeJeu says

    @ Sara – great insights! thanks so much for sharing your awesome story – you’re a total inspiration!! :)