Do you want more sleep?   Yes! I need more sleep.
Do you want more sleep?   Yes! I need more sleep.
Do you want more sleep?   Yes! I need more sleep.

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Reader Interactions


  1. rach rac says

    i have to agree with that it is my fault why my 20 month can’t sleep without me being there. from day one our son never slept through the night up until 4 months. then things got better up until 9 months. with both my me & husband working full-time jobs and feeling exhausted from lack of sleep we resorted to what was easiest to calm him down, which was to have our son co-sleep in our bed. the question i always ask myself is was having his crib in our bedroom a mistake? we live in a 1 bdroom apartment so we didn’t have a choice. i couldn’t resort to COI. i find it awful. i couldn’t escape the crying noise with no where to go. but here i am feeling exhausted and frustrated because i spared my son the agony of COI. we’re moving into a house in a few weeks and you can bet i’m going to try to put an end to this!!

    • Danielle says

      Hi Rach,
      Thank you for your comment! I’m sorry to hear that you’re having so much trouble with your little one’s sleep. It can be really hard when your space is limited, especially if you and your partner are both working. Many families are able to have the baby in a crib in the same room, but it depends on your baby’s temperament too. My daughter did not sleep well in the room with us, but did a lot better sharing a room with her brother, for example – it really varies! You sound like you’ve given this a lot of thought and I’m absolutely sure you’ve done the best you could for your family. I hope you have great success with sleep work after you move, but if you do need any further help, please do write us! We’d be happy to offer resources for you. Good luck!

  2. Nicole says

    Thank you, thank you for this!! This is exactly what I needed to hear right now! Brought tears of relief to my eyes. My little boy is 10 weeks old and we co-sleep out of necessity (like you I swore I wouldn’t do it before he was born) and now I actually enjoy it….to a point. So I started reading some books on helping your baby sleep and so far the only thing they have done is made me feel guilty that I did everything wrong. I’ve spent the last few days wondering how I could have failed so badly at being a mom, which lead me to more internet searches for ways to help him sleep. Not exactly sure how we’re going to do that yet, except one day at a time. So thank you for saying that I have been a loving mom for nursing my little boy to sleep, rocking & singing him to sleep and bringing him to bed with me so I could be a sane mommy! I look forward to checking out more of your site!

  3. Laura says

    I need help. I can only hope some day that I have a clear mind again. My 5 month old is not on a schedule. His dad and I work opposite shifts and I have the baby all night. I haven’t slept more than 5 or 6 hours a night since early in pregnancy! Those 5 or 6 are never straight always broken up through the night. I wake up to any noise he makes whether he is wanting the bottle, laughing in his sleep or having a nightmare or whatever makes him cry for 5 seconds then fall asleep. Some nights he sleeps 7 hours others he is up 3 times in 7 hours! Even if he started to sleep all night every night I would be trying to clean or do laundry while he is asleep! Pushing myself way beyond my limits. The house is a wreck and I have no social life. That smile keeps me going–my angel loves me even though I look like death lol!! Is it even possible to ever catch up on sleep or housework??? Darn I wish I didn’t have to work!!

    • Debbye says

      @ Donna – Great! I hope you’ve had continued good nights!

      @ Laura – So sorry that you feel run so ragged! I can relate, as I too wondered if I would ever feel normal again! I would recommend using earplugs, or even better, some white noise for yourself if you are waking at every sound. It really helped for me to get past the same challenges as well as drowns out my husband’s snoring (sometimes). But it is never loud enough so I can not hear by son in the next room. Here is a link to free white noise download:
      While I can’t help with the housework or employment, you should at least sleep better while your baby is sleeping!
      Good luck!

  4. Donna says

    Thanks Debbye,

    He had 3 good nights in a row now, so we are both feeling a lot better!

  5. Donna says

    I really needed to read this today. My 10 1/2 month-old is a terrible napper and sleeper and I am utterly exhausted. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.

    • Debbye says

      @ Vivienne-Hopefully you are continuing to follow those great Mom instincts, and sleep is improving!

      @ Donna- I hope things have smoothed out a bit for you, and you are DEFINITELY not alone!

      Good luck!

  6. Vivienne says

    I am crying right now reading this. I have become so frustrated and I was totally blaming myself. My little guy is a dream and he WAS sleeping great and he hit 4 months to the day and sleep became a nightmare. I’ve read every book and nothing felt right I felt like I was failing him. I’m hoping as I keep going through this website I get insight into why this is happening, ideas on what to do and the confidence to take care of my baby using my instincts which I’ve been trying to remind myself are there for a reason. Thank you!

  7. Divyanah's Dad says

    Wow, a nice way to subtly yank my throat for doing all that I and my wife do! Thanks for the great read! But like most of our respondents said, each child n each parenting is different and unique, what works for one isn’t necessarily workable for others. However, the sleep-thing is a little disturbing for me too. Since birth, my now-seven-month-old has always gone to bed sipping her milk bottle sideways, she sleeps when sleep comes and we take off the bottle (with constant supervision). Now, she sleeps and wakes up about once-twice in the night and has to be mother-fed and drizzles off to sleep. Now, I’m wondering if we’re doing the right thing or not. We tried various methods to putting her to sleep before, but none worked, not consistently, except this style. Now, my main problem is – will my baby outgrow this style??? If not, how do we slowly take her off her preferred style???

  8. Joy says

    Some of the responses here make me gag at how lucky the parents are, others make ME feel lucky. My son is 11 months and I still rock and sing him to sleep at naptime, at bedtime, and soothe him back to sleep throughout the night. He wakes something like 6-10 times a night. He wakes most frequently in the early evening and the early morning.
    I miss my brain. I miss my get-up-and-go, it got up and went.
    He slept in bed with us mostly, until recently, now he sleeps on a twin mattress on the floor and I join him there a couple hours after I go to bed, when I get tired of jumping out of bed to put him back to sleep. My husband works long days and the baby likes to kick him at night.
    The baby has always been a terrible sleeper, also had a lot of reflux problems until about 8 months old. We were taking him to the doctor’s, the pedi’s, and sometimes the ER because I just felt there was something really, really bothering him. Nothing came of it except the reflux diagnosis, which even with meds just helped some. Didn’t fix his sleeping.
    I of course coslept with him because who in their right mind would jump out of bed 10 times a night when you could just roll over and nurse the baby instead?
    I have no idea what to do with him. We tried crying it out several months ago and just ended up listening to him scream for 2 hours, and still going strong when I caved and got him. He’s a real darling, spunky and loving and happy, but nighttime and naptimes (nighttime predominantly) is really looking bleak. I kept hoping, maybe at 6 months. Maybe 9. Maybe at a year…but that doesn’t seem to be happening. I know they say “If you want something different than what you got you gotta do something different than what you did” but I don’t know what else to try. Thanks for reading.

    • Kinsley says


      My son is 10 months and I’m stuck in the same bind minus the reflux issues. My son started Co sleeping around 4 months after having his first cold. I work full time..ppl said do what works and the only way we all sleep is by Co sleeping. Even then, he wakes 2-4 times per night to nurse.

      My son has always liked motion or to be nursed to sleep. He loves the car, stroller or bouncer but will not go down in a crib. He isn’t sleeping at daycare and my provider seems angry and is committed to trying to get him to sleep in a crib even if it means letting him cry.

      I love my son more than anything. I also love our daycare…I don’t know what to do….I don’t know the answer, but wanted you to know you’re not alone.