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How Your Baby or Toddler’s Schedule Can Be Isolating

I’m an extrovert. Always have been, probably always will be. So much so that I occasionally take on a catering job as a waitress just to get out of the house and talk with people. 😉

Being a mom is the most amazing job I’ve ever had. And I especially love the moments when time just kind of stops and I am overwhelmingly aware of how blessed I am. It often hits me the most after another long day has ended and I’m snuggling with my girls during their bedtime routine. That is my favorite time of day…though pre-sleep coaching, I dreaded it!

I realize I am so blessed! But, to be honest, being a parent has also been super isolating as well. My kids thrive on routine. And while my husband and I used to be very spontaneous (we were married 7 years prior to having kids), our spontaneity has changed since we had children.

If you have a sensitive sleeper, you probably understand why. My oldest daughter, at 4 ½ months, was waking 8 times a night when I contacted Nicole from The Baby Sleep Site^® for help. Through sleep coaching and working with my daughter’s schedule, I was able to help her learn how to sleep well at night. However, as a baby and young toddler, she didn’t sleep well on the go. We made exceptions for special occasions (traveling, day trips), however, for the most part, she slept in her crib, where she slept best. Working my life around her naps wasn’t always convenient, and at times, made me feel stuck at home.

Some people understood my need to make sure she got enough sleep, while others didn’t quite get it.

I oftentimes had to ask myself if I was willing to pay the consequence for a skipped nap or late bedtime. Sometimes an event was worth it, though oftentimes it wasn’t. I remember going to a wedding across the country when she was 18 months. She was in a sleep regression and wasn’t napping well. To spend time with family, I was keeping her up a half hour or so late each night. When the wedding rehearsal came a few days later, she was exhausted! The day of the wedding, she woke at 4 in the morning and never went back to sleep. I tried my best to help her get a long nap that day; however by 8:00 p.m. that night, she was a wreck. We left the wedding early. Some family members understood while others told us to relax! They said, “She’ll sleep in the next morning if you keep her up!” Not my baby…not my experience. 😉

Parenting can be challenging! Making sure your little one gets the sleep they need can feel like a sacrifice. If you’re feeling stuck at home or “controlled” by your little one’s naps, you’re not alone! We, at The Baby Sleep Site^® (I became one of your sleep consultants here!), understand what it’s like to need to put your child’s sleep first, in order for everyone in the house to be happy. However, I promise this too shall pass. My oldest is 4 years old now and thinks taking a nap in the car is an adventure. She and I just traveled 1,000 miles in the car for a two week trip to see family, and it was won-der-ful! And guess what… when we stayed out late, she slept in! So, hang in there! You won’t be stuck at home forever.

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Sleeping Through the Night – When Can You Expect It, and How to Help Your Baby Get There

By Daniella Knight

You finally get to hold your precious baby in your arms, your own little miracle and even if it’s your second, third, or sixth, there is nothing ever like it in the entire world. You spend the first few weeks bonding, but suddenly the exhaustion starts to take a toll and you wonder when you will ever get to sleep, truly sleep, for the whole night again. For most new, and even veteran parents, the holy grail of getting life back to “normal” is getting to “sleep through the night” again. So, today, we will talk about when it is realistic to expect your baby to sleep through the night, and how to help your little one get there.

Newborns

Of course your neighbor is happy to report that her baby was sleeping through the night at 6 weeks old, while your newborn still wakes up several times. It is true, some newborns may sleep through the night at a very young age, but this is definitely not typical for this age, so don’t despair if your newborn isn’t doing long stretches yet.

Newborns have small tummies, so at 2-3 months, whether your baby is breastfed or formula fed, 2-3 night feedings are still considered age-appropriate. In addition, newborns sleep longer during the day, 4-6 hours depending on age, so their nighttime sleep is not as long as an older baby’s. In fact, for a newborn, “sleeping through the night” actually means sleeping 5-6 hours without waking to feed.

“Only 5-6 hours!” you may be thinking. But, if you are waking every 2-3 hours, a 5-6 hour stretch can feel almost magical. If you have a newborn, how do you help her get to that magical 5-hour stretch? One very important thing to keep in mind is that with newborns, everything is connected. So, when their feeding and napping schedule is in sync, this promotes better nighttime sleep.

To maximize your newborn’s sleep at night and get the magical 5-hour stretch, the 3 main things to remember are:

1. Keep your newborn’s awake time very short. Many can only do 60 to 90 minutes before needing to sleep again.

2. Maximize daytime feedings – The goal is to try to get about 75% of your baby’s calories in feedings during the day.

3. Avoid “day-night confusion” – This happens when your baby sleeps more during the day than at night. Although it is very common with newborns in the first few weeks, it should resolve by around 6 weeks. If your little one is sleeping very long stretches during the day, you may need to wake her periodically (ideally naps should be no longer than 2 hours) and expose her to sunlight (not direct) during the day, to encourage her body to sleep longer stretches at night. For additional tips on how to help your newborn get his best sleep, check our must-have e-book Essential Keys to Your Newborn’s Sleep

Young babies

We generally consider young babies as those between the ages of 4-8 months old. At this age, although many will still need night feedings, we start to see more babies be able to sleep through the night, which at this point we would consider the full 10-12 hours per night.

If your baby is 4-5 months old, it is likely they will still need to feed during the night, so at this age we continue to encourage the magical 5 hour stretch. Starting around 6 months, if your baby is formula-fed, most should be able to make it through the full night without feeding, and if your baby is breastfed, you can begin to aim for just 1 to 2 feedings during the night. So how do you encourage your little one to “sleep through the night” as a young baby?

1. Optimize your baby’s schedule – Although babies begin to stay up longer during the day, it is still important to avoid overtiredness, so watch your baby’s sleepy cues and don’t let them go much past the 2-3 hour mark before sleeping.

2. Continue to maximize daytime feedings – Babies are growing A TON at this age, so continue to make sure your little one is receiving most of his needed calories during the day to avoid frequent waking due to hunger.

3. Consider sleep coaching – Many babies will wake during the night due to sleep associations rather than hunger, so ensuring your baby can fall asleep and back to sleep independently becomes the key to maximizing nighttime sleep.

Older babies

We typically consider older babies as those between the ages of 9-12 months, and this is the age that most babies truly begin sleeping through the night for the full 11-12 hours most parents dream of. Your little one has grown so much by this point – they might be on the move, trying lots of different foods, learning new things every day! Very exciting stuff 🙂

If your baby is formula-fed they should no longer need night feedings at this age, which is great news! If your baby is breastfed, although a few may still need a feeding until a year old, many will be able to make it through the full 11-12 hours, so we recommend at least attempting to night-wean. Here are the top tips for helping your older baby sleep through the night.

1. Schedule, schedule, schedule – I know I must sound like a broken record by now, but this is really important, parents. And it can be a balance, but we want to continue to avoid overtiredness while giving baby enough awake time between naps. At this age we start to see 3-4 hours before naps and bedtime.

2. Feedings – Again, babies this age are still going through a very rapid rate of development, and active babies are hungry babies 🙂 At this age it may be necessary to add a daytime feeding or two to keep up with their needs, especially if they’ve recently become more active.

3. Sleep Coaching – If you haven’t begun sleep coaching your baby and they are still struggling with sleep associations, this is a great time to start! If you had been coaching, but may have lost your way due to a regression or illness, this is the time to get back on track. Regressions will happen, but consistency will help get you and your baby back to consolidated night sleep again. For more on toddler sleep training, click here.

Sleeping through the night may seem like distant dream, but it doesn’t have to be! If you are dreaming of a full night’s sleep, and don’t know how to get there, we are here to help. Our team of expert, compassionate sleep consultants is ready and waiting to work with you on your child’s sleep. Connect with a consultant today, and she will create a Personalized Sleep Plan^® that’s unique to your child, and accounts for factors like your kiddo’s temperament and your parenting goals.
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Once you make your choice and purchase, you will immediately receive an e-mail with your Helpdesk login information. You’ll be able to log in and get started immediately!

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How to Get My 2, 3, or 4 Week Old To Sleep

By Daniella Knight

You can’t believe you are actually holding your baby in your arms after you felt them grow inside for so long. You get to feel their skin, gaze into their eyes, feed them, put on those insanely adorable baby clothes you so lovingly picked out, and bask in the glow of motherhood. It can be a magical time. But, it can also be an exhausting time. Your baby is likely feeding around the clock and the concept of days and nights may yet be a foreign thing. Your baby may sleep most of the day and night and you wish they would be awake a little longer. Or, you may have a very curious newborn, who tries to stay awake as much possible, and you may be asking yourself, “How do I get my baby to sleep?” We have you covered new moms and dads. Today we are answering the big question – how do I get my 2, 3, or 4 week old to sleep?

Let’s take a look at the 6 steps to help your 2, 3 or 4 week old baby sleep.

Life with a tiny newborn can be one big roller coaster. They need you 24/7, you likely have a lot of appointments and check-ups to go to, you are working on learning their rhythms, their personality, their preferences, their unique feeding needs, and trying to settle into a loose routine. In addition, you might even have older siblings to tend to, family and friends coming and going, and sleep might feel like a distant dream. But, sleep is very important for you and for your newborn baby. Sleep and rest are important to help mom recover and establish a good milk supply, if you are breastfeeding, and an enormous amount of your newborn’s crucial development happens while they’re asleep! To help you get you and your baby off to the best start possible, let’s review the key steps to getting your 2, 3 or 4 week old to sleep.

How To Get My 2, 3 or 4 Week Old To Sleep At-a-Glance

Develop a consistent sleep routine
Review your baby’s schedule
Consider gentle sleep coaching/training
Create a sleep plan for your family
Gather support from your village
Prepare for the next sleep speedbump

And, now for a few details…

1. Develop a sleep routine for your 2, 3 or 4 week old

Taking a little bit of time to set the environment for sleep is crucial, and part of cuing your baby it’s time for sleep. It may feel a bit silly to do this so soon, especially if your baby is sleeping most of the day. But, it’s never too early to start working on just bedtime, at least, and creating the perfect routine for you and your baby. Plus, it’s a bonus if dad, grandparents and older siblings can be a part of the process, so they learn and enjoy this special time, too. So, if you haven’t started yet, there’s no better time to begin practicing a consistent set of steps you do before bed (and eventually, at each sleep period, including night and at nap times). It is absolutely fine to keep it pretty short at this age. You might say goodnight to everyone, turn down the lights, close curtains, change your baby’s diaper, sing a lullaby, nurse or offer a bottle, cuddle the baby for a few minutes while burping, and then lay your baby down for sleep while saying a key phrase (e.g. “I love you. Time for sleep. Night night.”). As your baby grows it can be wonderful to add a story, for example, but right now it’s best to keep it brief. After all, 3 week old’s have very short periods of wakefulness and it’s important to avoid overtiredness.

2. Review your 2, 3 or 4 week old’s schedule

Having an actual schedule is likely weeks or months away, since we expect your days and nights with your newborn to vary a lot! So, we are not recommending that you have a strict schedule with your baby, right now. But, everything with newborns is connected – feedings and sleep. So, it can be helpful to start thinking of your day in terms of activities and begin laying the foundation for consistency down the line. Your baby’s hormones may not begin to normalize and enable them to stay awake more during the day for another couple of weeks or so, so it’s common to see some confusion still on your baby’s part. This means they may be awake longer during the night than during the day. Although this day/night confusion will typically go away on its own, it can be helpful if you begin to set a more consistent wake-up time, and first nap, for example. Be sure to expose your baby to plenty of light (not direct sunlight) during the day, to help the process out. What might a typical day or schedule look like you ask? Check out our sample schedules here or make your own custom schedule!

3. Consider gentle sleep training (or coaching) for your 2, 3 or 4 week old

If the previous steps haven’t seemed to make much a difference in your 2, 3 or 4 week old’s sleep and you’ve downloaded our free e-Book, 15 Baby Sleep Facts New Parents Need to Know, it’s likely your baby may have some sleep associations that need to be resolved with gentle sleep coaching. Ideally, you’d get a professional assessment of your baby’s sleep challenges, but if you feel certain a dependence on parental help could be part of the issue, then you may want to consider gently sleep coaching your baby towards more independent sleep. This essentially involves helping your baby learn to fall asleep with less help from you – at this age it would be an extremely gradual process and with a lot of reassurance and comfort from you along the way. We expect most babies this age to need significant help going to sleep, but even now, certain habits may be difficult to maintain. This likely means that we may be working toward only minor changes to begin with. But even minor changes can make a big difference for a struggling mom and baby. For example, a common goal at this stage may be that you are trying to help your baby learn to fall asleep while in his bassinet for some sleep periods, rather than being held by you or sleeping on you for all of their sleep times. It can be hard to hold a newborn to sleep all day when you have an active older sibling, as an example. Given your baby’s age and our experience, however, we do feel strongly this should be done using a very hands-on, gentle sleep coaching method which limits crying.

Not sure where to begin? Check out Gentle Sleep Training Explained + 5 Strategies

4. Create a plan for your 2, 3 or 4 week old

If gentle sleep training is something you are considering, it will be important to figure out what to do next. Some of us are planners and others do fine just jumping in. If you are not a planner, you can certainly skip this step, but newborn parents are usually so exhausted and overwhelmed, that maybe a plan is just the ticket. After all, it’s hard to know how to get to where you’re going without a travel plan. Make the plan as detailed as you want it, but having a step-by-step plan helps you stay on track, committed, and consistent. Remember that things are not likely to go very quickly at this age, so it’s important to take it one step at a time, but not lose sight of your overall goals. Not sure where to begin or need help creating your baby’s sleep plan? Consider making your own sleep plan or letting us create a Personalized Sleep Plan™ for you and your baby.

**5. Get support for your 2, 3 or 4 week old’s parents (you!)**

We always hear that “it takes a village” to raise a child, but gone seem to be the days where we have a lot of help nurturing our babies (and ourselves!). I don’t know about you, but my mom came out for only one week when my first baby was a newborn, and that was about it. My husband and I were largely on our own. No Aunts to regularly hold the baby while I took a nap or enjoyed a (hopefully hot) meal. So, getting through lack of sleep during this 2, 3 or 4 week old period can be tough without much support. We sometimes have to recruit our own village. Consider hiring a sleep consultant or asking your partner, friends, or family members to help you implement your sleep plan. Having a support system in place can make all the difference in the world in reaching your sleep goals!

6. Prepare for your 2, 3 or 4 week old’s next speedbump

Whether you’ve already made some progress getting your 2, 3 or 4 week old to sleep a little better, or you’re just starting on your journey to better baby sleep, it’s important to keep in mind what’s coming next. Why? Because babies are growing and changing at an incredible rate! Every day your newborn is likely to surprise you. So be prepared and make sure you plan ahead, and have a game plan in place, before the next sleep challenge emerges. Around 6 weeks your baby is likely to go through a growth spurt, and at 3 to 4 months old your baby may begin to experience their first sleep regression. What’s a “sleep regression” you ask? Now is also the time to start thinking about how you’ll help your baby through any potential setbacks (teething, travel, and illness are BIG ones!) – sometimes the key to overcoming or even avoiding setbacks is knowing when they are likely to happen, what is happening when you experience a sleep change, and having a game plan in place for how you’ll get through them!

So, is your 2, 3 or 4 week old sleeping well for their age? Or, maybe it’s time to learn how to get your 5, 6, or 7 week old sleeping?

Why It Makes Sense to Get Help with Your Baby’s Sleep

By Daniella Knight

When I knew I was going to become a mom for the first time, knowing I would be away from most of my family, I devoured all the books I could find on pregnancy, birth, the newborn stage and beyond. It helped me feel more prepared overall, but everyone kept reassuring me that everything would be just fine…that my baby and I would settle into a rhythm – naturally. But not everything did come naturally. We needed help with feeding and tackling reflux, but, most notably, we needed help with sleep! As my little girl grew and her sleep did not improve, I was left alone and confused. With my “village” living so far away, I tried to fix things on my own for far too long.

But you don’t have to feel alone, tired and confused. Being part of The Baby Sleep Site^®‘s sleepy little village helped me see I was not alone, and empowered me to tackle my daughter’s sleep problems once and for all. If you have a challenging sleeper and have not been able to improve your little one’s sleep on your own, read more here about how you can grow your village and get some help!

As the years have passed, I still ask myself why it took so long for me to get help with my baby’s sleep. It’s possible that part of me felt that I was “supposed” to be able to figure it out on my own, and that if I couldn’t, it meant something was wrong with me – or my baby! And, I absolutely did not want that to be true. In my mind it was okay that I needed the lactation consultant to help me with breastfeeding, and our doctor to help with reflux and eczema. But, when it came to sleep, my pediatrician told us to close the door and not go in until morning. My husband and I were just not comfortable with that. So, we read about gentle sleep coaching methods and tried some. Unfortunately, we had no idea what to expect and had no plan of action, and in the end didn’t see much in the way of results. It was heartbreaking and I was starting to lose faith.

I knew that we needed serious help, but it was a pretty big investment for us, and I was skeptical that it would pay off. Why was getting help from a professional consultant with my baby’s sleep such a difficult step to take when it hadn’t been hard to get help from my doctor and lactation consultant? I mean, when I got serious about losing weight I enlisted the help of a nutritionist. When I was having a hard time getting in shape on my own I enlisted the help of a personal trainer. When I struggled with moving past my grandmother’s death, I enlisted the help of a therapist. These knowledgeable professionals became a cornerstone of my support system… and my village. They helped me sort through the confusion that often paralyzed me – “should I eat carbs or should I not eat carbs?” And they helped me find solutions that were right for me, like complementing yoga with strength training.

When I finally took the plunge and got professional help with my daughter’s sleep, I wanted to kick myself for waiting so long. Having a real village of knowledgeable sleep coaching experts behind you who are there to provide guidance and support during the whole process; who help you pinpoint exactly where the issues are and how to tackle them; who help you set realistic expectations and stick to your plan of action; and who cheer you on as you succeed – was more than I ever thought I was signing up for. But I am so glad I did! I have learned that sleep does not come naturally to every baby – or even to most babies! And, just because our village of family and friends may be far away, we don’t have to face this challenge on our own. It is okay to reach out for help, and every exhausted family deserves the gift of better sleep. I consider myself SO lucky to be a Sleep Consultant now, and help tired families find their best sleep!

Have you ever felt alone in tackling your baby’s sleep problems? We would love to hear from you! If you are feeling alone right now, reach out and our village is here to help! The fact is that parents who hire us to create a Personalized Sleep Plan^® for them have higher rates of success than those who attempt to go it alone. Why? Because our consultants bring decades of experience and insight to your consultation – we have worked with literally tens of thousands of families! All that experience combines to create a Personalized Sleep Plan^® that is guaranteed to equal sleep training success. You can check out our consultation packages here.

Want more information about how personalized help works? Check out our FAQ page here, and get answers. You can also take a tour of the Helpdesk here to see how the whole process comes together.

Need Baby and Toddler Sleep Help? We Have the Resources You Need!

How to Get My 5, 6, or 7 Week Old To Sleep

By Daniella Knight

How to Get My 5, 6, or 7 Week Old To Sleep

One of the most common questions we get here at The Baby Sleep Site® is “How do I get my baby to sleep?” Especially when it comes to newborns, who seem to be experts at throwing us curve-balls, just when we think we’ve figured them out! So, today we are answering the big question for new moms – how do I get my 5, 6, or 7 week old to sleep?

Let’s take a look at the 6 steps to help your 5, 6 or 7 week old baby sleep.

Your newborn is AMAZING! There’s no denying that, and your teeny tiny baby that seemed to sleep most of the day, may begin having some longer periods of alertness, be able to grab something when you put it in their hand, start trying to bat at objects close by, and even track them better with her eyes. This is hugely exciting stuff! But this may also mean that sleep may become more bumpy and unpredictable. Who knew that your sweet and adorable little bundle of joy could also leave you so puzzled? We did! 🙂 And, we have the keys to getting your 5, 6 or 7 week old (and YOU) the best sleep possible!

How To Get My 5, 6 or 7 Week Old To Sleep At-a-Glance

Develop a consistent sleep routine
Review your baby’s schedule
Consider gentle sleep coaching/training
Create a sleep plan for your family
Gather support from your village
Prepare for the next sleep speedbump

And, now for a few details…

1. Develop a sleep routine for your 5, 6 or 7 week old

Setting the environment for sleep is crucial and part of cuing your baby it’s time for sleep. Although this may feel very early to you, your amazing newborn is learning every second. So, if you haven’t started yet, there’s no better time to begin practicing a consistent set of steps you do at each sleep period, at night and at nap times. It can be helpful to keep it short and sweet at this age. You might say goodnight to the house, turn down the lights, close curtains, change your baby’s diaper, sing a lullaby, nurse or offer a bottle, cuddle the baby for a few minutes while burping, and then lay your baby down for sleep while saying a key phrase (e.g. “I love you. Time for sleep. Night night.”). As your baby gets older you may want to add a story, for example, but right now it’s best to keep it brief. After all, 6 week old’s have very short awake periods and it’s important to avoid overtiredness.

2. Review your 5, 6 or 7 week old’s schedule

I know what you’re thinking… it’s impossible to have a schedule when every day is so different. And we don’t recommend having a strict schedule with your newborn, but it can be helpful to think of your day in terms of activities and start laying the foundation for more consistency down the line. Now that your baby’s hormones are beginning to normalize, and she is beginning to stay awake during the day more (as opposed to staring lovingly at you in the middle of the night!), it will be easier to start setting a more consistent wake-up time, and first nap, for example. This can also be helpful with making things feel a bit more predictable amidst the “newborn fog” that a lot of parents can experience. What type of schedule you ask? Check out our sample schedules here or make your own custom schedule!

3. Consider gentle sleep training (or coaching) for your 5, 6 or 7 week old

If the previous steps haven’t significantly improved your 5, 6 or 7 week old’s sleep and you’ve downloaded our free e-Book, 15 Baby Sleep Facts New Parents Need to Know, it’s likely your baby may have some sleep associations that need to be resolved with gentle sleep coaching. Ideally, you’d get a professional assessment of your baby’s sleep challenges, but if you feel certain a dependence on parental help could be part of the issue, then you may want to consider gently sleep coaching your baby towards more independent sleep. This essentially involves helping your baby learn to fall asleep with less help from you – at this age it would be a very gradual process and with plenty of reassurance and comfort from you along the way. Not all babies may be ready for this, but many parents are surprised at how much independence their newborn can handle if given the chance. Given your baby’s age and our experience, however, we do feel strongly this should be done using a very hands-on, gentle sleep coaching method which limits crying.

Not sure where to begin? Check out Gentle Sleep Training Explained + 5 Strategies

4. Create a plan for your 5, 6 or 7 week old

If gentle sleep training is something you are considering, it will be important to figure out what to do next. Some of us are planners and others do fine just jumping in. If you are not a planner, you can certainly skip this step, but if you’ve been trying to help your 5, 6 or 7 week old sleep for awhile now, you’ve developed a routine, reviewed the schedule recommendations, and plugging along without a set strategy isn’t working out so well, maybe a plan is just what you’re missing. After all, it’s hard to know how to get to where you’re going without a travel plan. Make the plan as detailed as you want it, but having a step-by-step plan helps you stay on track, committed, and consistent. Remember that things will not go quickly at this age, so it’s important to take it one step at a time, but not lose sight of your overall goals. Not sure where to begin or need help creating your baby’s sleep plan? Consider making your own sleep plan or letting us create a Personalized Sleep Plan™ for you and your baby.

**5. Get support for your 5, 6 or 7 week old’s parents (you!)**

We hear everywhere that “it takes a village” to raise a child, but gone seem to be the days where we have a lot of help nurturing our babies. I don’t know about you, but my mom came out for only one week when my first baby was a newborn, and that was about it. My husband and I were largely on our own. No Aunts to regularly hold the baby while I took a nap or enjoyed a (hopefully hot) meal. So, getting through lack of sleep during this 5, 6 or 7 week old period can be tough without support. We sometimes have to recruit our own village. Consider hiring a sleep consultant or asking your partner, friends, or family members to help you implement your sleep plan. Having a support system in place can make all the difference in the world in reaching your sleep goals!

6. Prepare for your 5, 6 or 7 week old’s next speedbump

Whether you’ve already made some progress getting your 5, 6 or 7 week old to sleep or you’re just starting on your journey to better baby sleep, it’s important to keep in mind what’s coming next. Why? Because babies are growing and changing at an incredible rate! So be prepared and make sure you plan ahead, and have a game plan in place, before the next sleep challenge emerges. Around 3 to 4 months old your baby may begin to experience their first sleep regression. What’s a “sleep regression” you ask? Now is also the time to start thinking about how you’ll help your baby through any potential setbacks (teething, travel, and illness are BIG ones!) – sometimes the key to overcoming or even avoiding setbacks is knowing when they are likely to happen, what is happening when you experience a sleep change, and having a game plan in place for how you’ll get through them!