Imagine putting your baby to sleep in her crib. Your baby doesn’t cry. She happily plays in her crib, looks at the mobile, or babbles, but isn’t sleeping. Or, your toddler happily chats in his bed for an hour every night before going to sleep. You’re lucky, right? This is the ideal baby sleep situation and you have nothing to worry about, right? Wrong. This article will explain how TOO much downtime in the crib can be bad for your baby’s sleep.
A while ago, I received an e-mail that went something like this:
If your baby is moaning, but not crying, is it OK to leave them in the crib? For how long? Is it cruel? Will it make for a bad start to the day?
Should immediately tend to your baby when he awakens?
If your baby wakes too early in the morning (what is “too early” will be different for everyone) and she is not crying, I would absolutely recommend that you NOT go in to engage her. This will inadvertently reinforce her continuing to wake up too early. If your baby is crying, you will want to limit your engagement as much as possible, feed her, if appropriate, change her diaper, etc. but not make it FUN to be up and try not to get her up UP for the day. This may “set” her internal clock to continue to wake early.
If your baby wakes up in the morning and it’s not “too early” but she’s happy, allowing some playtime is perfectly okay. I remember one phase in my son’s sleep when I’d hear him wake up, it wasn’t too early, so I’d go in to get him up and he fussed at me for coming in too early! The first day he did this, I didn’t understand, but after a couple more times I figured out that he was enjoying his “relaxation time” in the morning. When we used to have a lot of sleep problems, you could NOT have told me THAT would happen and I believe you!
Is it cruel to leave a baby alone in her crib?
All parents will have a different philosophy about whether it’s “cruel” to allow your baby alone time in his or her bed. My take on it is if they aren’t upset, some independent “think” time or relaxation is not a bad thing and may even be a good idea. Some of my best ideas come to me when I’m lying in bed (or at least not talking to anyone) or walking/running on the treadmill. This site was one of those ideas! 🙂 Once I got the idea, I shared it with those closest to me, but the idea itself came to me when I was all by my lonesome. Your baby may like the time and if she isn’t crying, she probably does!
Although independent playtime can be good, at some point, allowing too much “downtime” in the crib or bed can be bad for your baby’s sleep and you do want to avoid it. Just because you may have an easy-going baby who will lay in bed for hours without crying doesn’t mean she should. You might think this sounds far-fetched and babies who lay around for “hours” will be a rare few, but once your baby does know how to sleep independently, it is very normal for babies to begin to play and chat up a storm in their bed in the morning when they first wake up or before they go to sleep at night. I know, I know! I didn’t think it would happen either, but it did!!
Why down time causes baby sleep problems
First, too much time on your baby’s back, when their heads are still soft can cause plagiocephaly, or their head to be flat or misshapen. Since it is recommended for SIDS prevention to put your baby on his back to sleep, this has become more prevalent. You will want to give your baby plenty of tummy time to play during the day.
Second, too much “resting” time can actually lead to short naps, more night-wakings, and especially long middle of the night wakings, for older babies and toddlers.
Some general rules of thumb:
- Once past the initial sleep coaching period, limit “downtime” to a maximum of 20-30 minutes before naps and 30 minutes prior to bedtime, if possible.
- If your baby or toddler has not fallen asleep, consider getting them up and trying again about 30 minutes later. OR, if it’s at night, reconsider his schedule.
- Don’t make schedule decisions based on one day or even two. If he or she has a lot of “downtime” for one day, that is okay. This article is discussing more of a consistent pattern over days/weeks/months, not a one-time event.
In the end, you know your baby best and what’s “too much” for one baby won’t be for another. I have one client whose toddler takes 45 minutes to fall asleep no matter what time they put her down. She “chats” to herself about her day and needs that “unwind” time. For her, this is perfectly acceptable and even what she needs. Now that my client knows that, she can set her schedule appropriately. As always, keep in mind that something isn’t a problem until it becomes one.
32 thoughts on “How Down Time in the Crib Can Be Bad For Your Baby’s Sleep”
Hi there, my 3month old sleeps at night from 8:30/9ish until about 3 am- feeds and sleeps immediately. The two problems I have are: after that 3am feed, she wakes every couple of hours to feed until about 8am
Secondly, she barely naps during the day ( several short naps total of approximately 3 hours). I feel like she’s not getting enough sleep despite her happy demeanour. Help!
Thank you for visiting us at The Baby Sleep Site! Based on your comment, it sounds like your baby is sleeping roughly the average amount per day for her age, which is 14-15 hours of sleep per 24 hour period. Some babies have short nights and long naps at this age, and some are sleeping 12 hour nights, like yours, and then taking fewer naps. If she seems happy and is eating well overall, she is probably sleeping enough.
Most babies this age do still need to eat during the night, usually 3-4 times overall (sometimes a little less often if you’re bottle feeding). We have a night feedings by age chart here that is a great reference to use: https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/baby-night-feedings-age-chart/
I hope this helps!
Hi, I love this blog ! It has helped me so much.
I have a 8 month old baby girl, about a month ago she went crazy at night time, she was waking up every 15-30 minutes so I decided to sleep train. Best decision ever! ??Also, that’s to your blog.
Around 2 almost 3 weeks ago she started to wake up earlier each day, she goes down at 8pm every night, she was waking up at 8am after sleep training, but then she started to wake up at 7:30am, I figured no biggy, next day she woke up at 7am, then 6:30am and now she’s waking up 5-6am and I can’t seem to make her wake up around 8am again!!! She doesn’t make a noise, she will lay there looking at the camera or playing with her blanket. I tried to go in and feed her but then she never fallas asleep again anyway. Sometimes I fall asleep again and then my husband tells me she’s been there for 30 to 2 hours !!! What should I do ? I think that’s way to much time for her to be on her crib like that. So how long should I wait to go get her ? And how do I get her to wake up later again?
Once, we went out and she fell asleep only at 10pm, still woke up at 6am.. help!
She takes 2 naps, up to 1h30 each. Sometimes less but it doesn’t change anything at night
@Monica – Thank you for reading and for sharing with us. We’re glad to hear our blog has been so helpful to you! 8-10 months can definitely be a tough age for sleep – for babies and parents alike! Many babies this age hit a regression, which terribly impacts sleep for a while and could be what you’re experiencing. Please consider connecting with one of our sleep consultants who are better trained to help with the specific details and questions you have – she’ll be able to help identify any issues/problems and get you all back on track to better sleep. You may even want to consider one of our 15-min free evaluations to get a better idea. You can read more about our team here:https://www.babysleepsite.com/about Hope this helps, Monica – hang in there!
My baby is a year old now. She used to be a perfect sleeper (naps and nights) but at 10 months it changed and we always needed to be around her for her to fall asleep. We began sleep training at 11 months and walk out but visit every couple minutes of she was crying and that worked really well she would put herself to sleep within 10 minutes. Now she just sits in bed for an hour babbling, standing, sitting, making noises, playing with her blankie until she finally rests and goes to sleep. No crying whatsoever ever. But I feel bad leaving her there for an hour. (mind you as soon as I put her in bed, she is so drowsy, eyes half shut , she rolls around to her side to sleep, and as soon as I walk out, she up). This happens for both naps and night sleeps. But when she does sleep she is sleeping the full night or the full nap. Help!!
@Dareen – Thank you for reading and for sharing with us! Your daughter sounds adorable with all of that babbling in the crib though we know it can be quite frustrating to witness. 🙂 This is a very common problem with toddlers her age and many factors could be contributing to it – schedule, development, routine, etc. Check out this article which gives tips for getting your 12 month old to sleep better: https://www.babysleepsite.com/how-to-get-my-baby-to-sleep/how-to-get-my-11-or-12-month-old-to-sleep/ Or if you’d like more personalized support, consider connecting with one of our amazing sleep consultants who can walk you through it one-on-one. You can learn more about them here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/about Hang in there, Dareen!
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