baby sleeping habits | The Baby Sleep Site - Baby / Toddler Sleep Consultants

THIS Is What Good Baby Sleep Looks Like, According To Science.

good baby sleep

It’s that time again: time for new sleep guidelines from the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM). Every so often, the AASM releases recommendations for healthy child sleep; now, we have their 2016 recommendations. Let’s take a look!

How Much Sleep Do Babies and Toddlers Need?

Our team looked at this area of the report first, and we were very pleased to learn that our sleep plan recommendations line up exactly with the recommended sleep totals from the AASM:

Infants 4 months to 12 months should sleep 12 to 16 hours per 24 hours (including naps) on a regular basis to promote optimal health.
Children 1 to 2 years of age should sleep 11 to 14 hours per 24 hours (including naps) on a regular basis to promote optimal health.
Children 3 to 5 years of age should sleep 10 to 13 hours per 24 hours (including naps) on a regular basis to promote optimal health.
Children 6 to 12 years of age should sleep 9 to 12 hours per 24 hours on a regular basis to promote optimal health.
Teenagers 13 to 18 years of age should sleep 8 to 10 hours per 24 hours on a regular basis to promote optimal health.

Why Is Good Baby and Toddler Sleep Important?

We’ve written about this quite a bit before and were very pleased to see that the new AASM recommendations reiterate the importance of quality sleep while also warning about the dangers of chronic sleep deprivation. From the report:

The group found that adequate sleep duration for age on a regular basis leads to improved attention, behavior, learning, memory, emotional regulation, quality of life, and mental and physical health.

Not getting enough sleep each night is associated with an increase in injuries, hypertension, obesity and depression, especially for teens who may experience increased risk of self-harm or suicidal thoughts.

We would add to this that, among parents of young children, “adequate sleep” can sometimes bec considered an afterthought or an unattainable goal. In reality, however, all babies and toddlers CAN learn to sleep soundly and nap consistently with some gentle sleep coaching from mom or dad. Even better, when you prioritize sleep early on in your child’s life, you create a foundation for lifelong healthy sleep habits that will benefit your child well into their adult years.

And speaking of healthy sleep habits, this brings us to the final recommendation from the AASM….

Why “Screens Off” Is A Key Part Of Healthy Sleep Hygiene

There are many elements that make up healthy sleep “hygiene”, including….

…having a comfortable, dim, noise-free sleep environment.
…establishing healthy pre-sleep routines.
…limiting (or eliminating) high-sugar foods close to bedtime.
…enjoying relaxing, quiet activities right before bed.

Interestingly, however, the AASM prioritizes one sleep hygiene recommendation above all others:

In addition to these recommendations, the AAP suggests that all screens be turned off 30 minutes before bedtime and that TV, computers and other screens not be allowed in children’s bedrooms.

Why the focus on eliminating screens from the bedroom and minimizing screen time right before bed? Perhaps because we are living in the most “wired” society in human history! Your family (children included) is no doubt surrounded by screens of all shapes and sizes all day long. But in truth, TV and sleep just do not mix. It’s so crucial, then, that limited screen time and no screens in the bedroom be an integral part of your family’s sleep routines.

How much sleep do your children get? Questions or comments about these baby and toddler sleep guidelines? Scroll down to leave a question or a comment and to hear from other parents!

Need Baby and Toddler Sleep Help? We Have the Resources You Need!

If you are tired of wading through stacks of baby sleep books that just aren't working, if you are beyond exhausted and just can't solve your child's sleep problems on your own...than personalized sleep consulting is for you. Our team of expert consultants will create a Personalized Sleep Plan^® just for your family and then support you through every step of implementing your plan. We encourage you to consider our personalized, one-on-one baby and toddler sleep consultation packages if you want to see real, meaningful results now. Your consultation package also includes ample follow-up help, designed to help you troubleshoot problems and tweak your plan as needed.

For those persistent nighttime struggles, check out The 3 Step System to Help Your Baby Sleep. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your baby sleep through the night.

If you’re looking for ways to get your baby or toddler into a healthy sleeping routine during the day, I encourage you to explore Mastering Naps and Schedules, a comprehensive guide to napping routines, nap transitions, and all the other important “how-tos” of good baby sleep. With over 45 sample sleep schedules and planning worksheets, Mastering Naps and Schedules is a hands-on tool ideal for any parenting style.

For those persistent toddler sleep struggles, check out The 5 Step System to Help Your Toddler Sleep. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your toddler sleep through the night and enjoy a better daytime schedule.

Or, join our Members Area packed with exclusive content and resources: e-Books, assessments, detailed case studies, expert advice, peer support, and more. It actually costs less to join than buying products separately! As a member, you'll also enjoy a weekly chat with an expert sleep consultant. And the best part - members receive 20% off all sleep consultation services!

Can't decide which product or service is right for you? Visit our Getting Started Page for help.

10 Tough Baby Sleep Problems, and How To Solve Them

By Emily DeJeu 9 Comments

Solving your baby’s sleep problems can be tough enough, but finding the solution to YOUR specific problem can be even tougher. After all, the sleep training plan we would recommend for parents who want to transition away from cosleeping would be very different than the sleep training plan we would recommend for parents who want to stop rocking their baby to sleep.

So how can you solve YOUR unique sleep challenge? Well, I can’t give you personalized advice here on the blog (you’ll need to connect with a consultant for that), but I can give you some tips and additional resources that are designed to solve the 10 most common baby sleep problems.

10 Common Baby Sleep Problems, and Sleep Training Solutions To Help

1. Your baby will fall asleep only when you feed him.

Oh, is this a common one. This is what we call a feeding association – your baby associates feeding (usually breastfeeding) with falling asleep. The best way to wean your baby away from a feeding association is usually to distance the feeding from the start of a sleep time. For instance, if you usually feed your baby to sleep at bedtime, you’ll want to move the feeding to an earlier point in your bedtime routine. If that change feels too abrupt to you and your baby, you can break it down into smaller baby steps; our consultants generally offer baby step options to help minimize crying with changes like this.

2. Your baby will fall asleep only when you rock her, or when she’s in the infant swing.

This is a movement association – your baby associates falling asleep with movement. You can gradually wean your baby away from a movement association by fading out the movement. For example, you could start by rocking your baby mostly to sleep, and then work towards simply holding your baby in your arms without any movement, until he falls asleep that way.

3. Your baby will fall asleep only when you hold her, or when he’s in a sling or wrap.

Usually, babies who fit this description need to be held or worn closely to mom specifically in order to fall asleep. We sometimes call this a parent sleep association, with mom usually being the parent in question. If your baby has a strong association with you in particular, you could try having your spouse or partner, or maybe another family member, do the pre-sleep routines and put your baby to bed; sometimes, getting your child accustomed to another caregiver at bedtime can fix the association. Or, you can use a sleep coaching method like pick up put down or the chair method to keep you close by while you work on teaching your baby to fall asleep without being held.

4. Your baby will fall asleep only in the carseat.

If your baby needs to be in the car while you’re driving around in order to fall asleep in the carseat, then that’s another movement association. But we sometimes see families in our Helpdesk who find that their babies sleep great in the carseat both in and out of the car. That snug, semi-reclined position is very relaxing for babies, and can be especially comfortable for babies who have reflux or GERD. In this case, be sure to treat any medical conditions like reflux that can make sleeping flat uncomfortable. Then, fade out this sleep association like you would any other.

5. Your baby will sleep only in your bed, right next to you.

If your child has always shared a bed with you, then she may not know any other way to sleep. But even if co-sleeping is just an occasional thing, your baby no doubt sleeps great that way, simply because he’s so close to you. To gently stop co-sleeping, you’ll want to gradually move your baby out of your bed and into his own sleeping area. You can break this down into a series of small steps in order to minimize crying; we outline a detailed day-by-day co-sleeping transition plan in our Members Area.

6. Your baby sleeps okay at night, but won’t fall asleep at nap time and won’t nap on a schedule.

Believe it or not, this is very normal, and so is the reverse scenario. Daytime and nighttime sleep are handled by different parts of your baby’s brain, so even if your baby has mastered nighttime sleep pretty well, those skills won’t necessarily translate to naps. In this case, you will need to work on nap training.

7. Your baby falls asleep at bedtime, but wakes constantly for the rest of the night.

If the wakings are due to hunger and a need to feed, and if the feedings are excessive, then you’ll need to adjust your baby’s feeding schedule. However, if the wakings aren’t related to hunger, then you likely still have some unresolved sleep associations on your hands. Carefully examine how your baby is going into her sleeping area at night…if she isn’t fully awake, then you will probably need to do more sleep training until your baby can go from fully awake to asleep without your help. When she gets to this point, she’ll be able to put herself back to sleep when she wakes between sleep cycles at night, and this will eventually eliminate night wakings that aren’t related to feedings.

8. Your baby wakes to feed all night long.

Eating all night long is normal for newborns, but once your baby is about 4 months old, he should start to shift the majority of his feedings to daylight hours, and begin sleeping for longer (4ish) hour stretches and feeding less often at night. However, if your baby is feeding often at night, it may be that he has this backwards, and is napping more and feeding less during the day and then making up for it at night. In this case, you just need to work on shifting the schedule by shortening naps and offering more daylight feeds.

9. Your baby sleeps fairly well, but wakes incredibly early and is up for the day well-before you’d like him to be.

Oh, early-waking….this is such a frustrating problem! In this case, the problem can be one of several things. This can be due to a too-late bedtime for babies – if your baby is going down too late at night, she may be getting overtired and waking early as a result. Or, it can be a case of too much nap time sleep during the day, which means less sleep at night. Finally, if your toddler is waking too early, it may be that you are putting her to bed too early, and that you need to push bedtime back. This is especially true for toddlers who still take an afternoon nap. Check out our members-only e-book, Shift Your Child’s Schedule, as well as a case study presenting solutions for early-waking, for tips on how to solve these problems

10. Your baby was sleeping great, but has suddenly stopped and is now sleeping terribly.

This can be due to a lot of factors, honestly. This may be due to health and developmental factors, like sleep regressions, illness, or teething. In these cases, it’s best just to wait out the phase. However, it may be that you’ve had big disruptions in your life that have blown your usual sleep schedules apart – moving to a new house, having a new baby, or extended traveling tend to do that. For toddlers, it may be that a big change like potty training or moving to a big kid bed is to blame. In this case, either complete the transition or change and then get back on track once things are back to normal, or pause the transition (in the case of potty training or moving to a big kid bed) and wait until your child is a little older.

How To Get Personalized Help For Tough Baby Sleep Problems

Solving your baby’s tough sleep problems may feel impossible…you may wonder how on earth you’re going to get from sleepless nights and erratic naps to better rest for your whole family. But progress IS possible – especially if you have the right help! One of the easiest and fastest was to solve even the toughest baby sleep problems is to try a personalized consultation from The Baby Sleep Site^®? Your consultation will allow you to work one-on-one with an expert sleep consultant. Your consultant will craft a Personalized Sleep Plan™ just for your family, walk you through each step of implementing the plan at home, and then will support you throughout the process.

Browse our list of consultation package options here.

Once you make your choice and purchase, you will immediately receive an e-mail with your Helpdesk login information. You’ll be able to login and get started right away – it’s that simple!

Want more information about how personalized help works? Check out our FAQ page here, and get answers. You can also take a tour of the Helpdesk.

What tough baby sleep problems are you struggling through? Share your questions and comments below – we’ll answer!

Our Members Area is packed with exclusive content and resources: e-Books, assessments, detailed case studies, expert advice, peer support, and more. It actually costs less to join than buying products separately! As a member, you’ll also enjoy a weekly chat with an expert sleep consultant. And the best part – members receive 20% off all sleep consultation services!

Essential Keys to Your Newborn’s Sleep is THE newborn sleep book that will help you to not only improve your newborn’s sleep using gentle, sleep-inducing routines – it will also answer your feeding and newborn care questions. You can even buy a bundle package that includes the e-book AND a Personalized Sleep Plan™ PLUS a follow-up email to use for further support!

For those persistent nighttime struggles, check out The 3 Step System to Help Your Baby Sleep. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your baby sleep through the night.

If you’re looking for ways to get your baby or toddler into a healthy sleeping routine during the day, I encourage you to explore Mastering Naps and Schedules, a comprehensive guide to napping routines, nap transitions, and all the other important “how-tos” of good baby sleep. With over 45 sample sleep schedules and planning worksheets, Mastering Naps and Schedules is a hands-on tool ideal for any parenting style.

For those persistent toddler sleep struggles, check out The 5 Step System to Help Your Toddler Sleep. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your toddler sleep through the night and enjoy a better daytime schedule.

Nursing Baby To Sleep: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

By Emily DeJeu Leave a Comment

Let’s be honest here – we’ve all done this. When your baby is crying at 2 a.m., and you know that offering a quick feed would silence those cries and put that baby right back to sleep, what do you do?

Simple…you feed that baby to sleep!

Feeding a baby to sleep is one of the quickest and easiest ways to help your baby relax and fall asleep, to be sure…but it’s not without it’s drawbacks. There’s a “dark side” to feeding your baby to sleep.

And this is just what we’re studying in today’s blog article! We’ll take a look at “the good”, “the bad”, and “the ugly” of feeding your baby to sleep.

Nursing Baby To Sleep: The Good

Let’s start with “the good” of nursing your baby to sleep. This one is pretty simple – as any mama who’s nursed her baby to sleep can tell you, feeding a baby to sleep is fast, simple, and incredibly effective – even the fussiest, most overtired baby will relax and drift off after mom puts him to the breast. Why? Well, for starters, sucking itself is incredibly relaxing for babies. Additionally, being held securely against mom’s body is pretty relaxing as well.

But there’s more at work here than mere sucking and cuddling. There’s evidence that evening breastmilk actually has a sedating effect on babies. A group of Spanish researchers discovered that breastmilk produced in the evening and over the course of the night contains noticeably higher levels of the nucleotides that are associated with sleep. (By contrast, breastmilk produced in the morning has a stimulating effect; this is one reason why it’s best not to pump your milk first thin in the morning and then feed it to baby at bedtime!)

So there you go – not only does the very act of feeding your baby make her drowsy and relaxed, thanks to the sucking and cuddling that’s involved; if you’re breastfeeding, your evening breastmilk actually acts as a sedative!

Nursing Baby To Sleep: The Bad

Nursing your baby to sleep has some down sides, however. For starters, while many of us sooooooo enjoy nursing our newborns to sleep in those early weeks and months after birth, feeding your baby to sleep before EVERY sleep time can become exhausting and burdensome after awhile.

Here’s why: if your baby doesn’t sleep well at night or wakes early from naps, you may be looking at needing to feed your baby to sleep after every interrupted waking. This can mean you’re bringing your baby to the breast, or offering a bottle, every hour or so at night (or possibly even more frequently, depending on your situation)! Same with naps – if your baby takes short naps, you may end up feeding your baby to sleep at the start of a nap, and then having to nurse your baby back to sleep after she wakes too early, then you may be spending A LOT of time feeding or nursing to sleep during the day.

Additionally, while parents who use formula can take shifts feeding baby to sleep (which means you get a break each time your partner feeds baby to sleep), moms who are exclusively breastfeeding are basically stuck – if your baby is used to falling asleep “at the source” (i.e. at the breast), then YOU have to be the one feeding baby to sleep before each nap, and at bedtime, and after each night waking. Talk about exhausting! Even the strongest, most resilient moms find that exhausting after awhile.

Nursing Baby To Sleep: The Ugly

As much as I hate to say it…there’s an ugly side of routinely feeding your baby to sleep. If you nurse or feed your baby to sleep all the time, or almost all the time, then it’s almost certain that feeding is a sleep association for your baby. Simply put, your baby has come to associate feeding with falling asleep, which means that your baby needs you to feed her in order to fall asleep – she doesn’t know she can fall asleep any other way. The longer you feed your baby to sleep, the more you reinforce this association.

This explains why so, so many moms are still nursing their older babies and toddlers to sleep every two or three hours at night. See, even though their little ones are old enough to sleep through the night, they aren’t; every time they wake between sleep cycles, they don’t know how to put themselves back to sleep without help from mom or dad, in the form of a feed.

Helping Baby Learn To Sleep WITHOUT Nursing and Feeding

Fortunately, all hope is not lost – even if your baby has to feed to sleep 100% of the time, you CAN gently wean your baby from needing to breastfeed to sleep, and teach him to fall asleep without help. This is what sleep training does – it gently and gradually helps your baby learn to fall asleep independently, without any help from you in the form of feeding or rocking or holding to sleep.

Why bother with teaching your baby to fall asleep without nursing or feeding? Simple – it’ll lead to sleeping through the night and longer naps for your child! The truth is, we all wake briefly between sleep cycles – you do it, and your baby does, too. But you are able to roll over, fluff your pillow, reposition yourself, and go right back to sleep. Your baby, on the other hand, doesn’t know how to fall asleep without your help, so he needs YOU in order to fall back asleep. But through the process of sleep coaching, your baby comes to learn how to fall back to sleep quickly between sleep cycles without help…and THIS is how you get from multiple nighttime wakings to sleeping through the night.

Sleep Training Help That Works – Guaranteed!

The process of sleep training your baby, and gently helping her to learn healthier sleeping habits, can be overwhelming for many families…fortunately, we’re here to help! We’ve been helping families just like yours “find their” sleep for years – and we can help you, too! Our consultants at The Baby Sleep Site^® specialize in creating Personalized Sleep Plans™ that are customized to your own parenting philosophy, and that will NEVER make you feel guilty or pressured. Even better, once you have your Personalized Sleep Plan™, your consultant will walk you through each step of implementing it at home.

Browse our list of consultation package options here.

Once you make your choice and purchase, you will immediately receive an e-mail with your Helpdesk login information. You’ll be able to login and start your Family Sleep History form right away – it’s that simple!

Want more information about how personalized help works? Check out our FAQ page here, and get answers. You can also take a tour of the Helpdesk.

Why does your baby fight sleep? Share your experiences and tips with us!

Need help knowing where to start? Visit our Help Me Choose page for helping choosing the Baby Sleep Site^® resources that are right for you.

Healthy Sleep Habits: Why Not All Sleep Habits Are Bad

By Emily DeJeu

If you’ve been a reader of The Baby Sleep Site^® for awhile, then you know a thing or two about sleep associations, don’t you? You’ve no doubt read our sleep association blog post, and have learned all about how certain habits that your baby associates with sleep (like nursing to sleep, or rocking to sleep, or being held during sleep) can cause big, huge sleep problems that affect the whole family.

And you’ve no doubt learned that sleep training is the process of gently weaning your baby away from any negative sleep associations, and teaching your little one how to fall asleep independently, without ongoing help from mom or dad.

But what if I told you that not all sleep associations are bad? Sleep associations tend to get a pretty bad rap, but that’s not necessarily fair. I think when most of us hear ‘sleep habits’, we tend to think about bad habits – but the truth is, good, healthy sleep habits do exist, and what’s more, they are key in helping your baby or toddler sleep well.

Healthy Sleep Habits: How Babies and Toddlers Form Sleep Habits

If one thing is true, it’s that babies and toddlers tend to form habits with lightning-fast speed. Do something consistently enough, for several days in a row, and your little one will come to see that as the norm, and will expect it. We as parents can use this in our favor; it’s this trait in our children that allows us to teach good habits and to build positive character traits. For example, if we consistently require that our child say “please” before we hand them a snack, or help them with a task, then it won’t be long before that child says please habitually.

But this can backfire, too. Sometimes, things that we DON’T want to become habitual actually do – you allow your child to watch TV for 2 hours each morning while he’s sick with the flu, and he comes to expect 2 hours of TV time EVERY morning, even after he’s healthy. And the same goes for sleep – sometimes, we do things that we mean to be temporary (like nursing to sleep after every night waking, or holding the baby for every nap), and then suddenly, BOOM – our child has come to understand that this is standard, and should happen every day (or night).

Good vs. Bad (or Healthy vs. Unhealthy) Sleep Habits

So how can we distinguish healthy sleep habits from unhealthy sleep habits? First, it’s important to remember that there is no “script” for sleep – one family’s huge sleep problems are another family’s norm. And things that some parents consider problematic (like nursing to sleep 5 times a night), other parents don’t mind doing at all – or even do intentionally. So keep in mind that NOTHING about your baby’s sleep is a problem until it’s a problem for you.

Keep in mind also that every baby is different, and that means sleep needs differ from child to child. Your child may be completely rested after 3 or 4 nighttime wakings, or with naps that are on the short side – while another child may be overtired and cranky if even one daytime nap is off.

Now, as for what makes a sleep habit healthy vs. unhealthy – in general (after taking your parenting preferences and your child’s sleep needs and temperament into account), sleep habits that heavily involve you “doing” something tend to be less healthy than sleep associations that require little to no work from you. Here are some examples to illustrate this idea:

FEEDING: If your baby needs you to feed him all the way back to sleep after every interrupted waking at night and during naps, that’s probably an unhealthy sleep habit. But if your baby simply needs you to feed him until he’s drowsy, that’s very likely a healthy, manageable sleep habit.
ROCKING: Same as above – if you have to rock your baby all the way to sleep every time she wakes, that’s probably unsustainable for you, and therefore is an unhealthy sleep habit. But if you simply need to rock until drowsy, that may very well work for all of you.
PACIFIER: If you have to replace the pacifier for your baby every single time it falls out, that’s an unhealthy sleep habit – but if your baby can replace the pacifier himself, and doesn’t need you to help when it falls out in the middle of the night, then the pacifier can actually be a healthy sleep association.
COSLEEPING: If you are co-sleeping out of desperation, because it makes it easier to nurse your baby all night long, but you don’t actually WANT to share a bed with your baby, then this is most likely an unhealthy sleep habit. But if you are cosleeping intentionally, and have worked to ensure that both you and your baby are getting enough sleep, then this can be a healthy sleep association.
LOVEY: If YOU are your child’s lovey, and that’s standing in the way of you getting the sleep you need, then that’s an unhealthy sleep association – but if your child’s lovey is something like a blanket, or a small stuffed animal, then the lovey is a great sleep association, as it allows your child to soothe and settle without your help.

Why Healthy Sleep Habits Matter

I know that for some of you, what I’m saying here is nothing new. But here’s why this distinction between healthy and unhealthy sleep habits matter: your child will always have sleep habits. There is no such thing as habit-free sleep. So your goal in sleep training is not simply to wean your child away from unhealthy sleep habits and associations – it’s to replace those with healthy sleep habits that allow your child AND you to get more sleep. What exactly those healthy sleep habits look like is, of course, entirely up to you. For instance, some families introduce the pacifier as a healthy sleep habit, while others are working to wean away from it because it’s a negative sleep association. But it’s key to remember that your child will always have habits surrounding sleep – wearing certain jammies, for instance, or doing the bedtime routine in a certain order, or stroking a special blanket before falling asleep.

And really, when you think about the way you fall asleep – is it any surprise that your child needs healthy sleep habits? I don’t know about you, but I have lots of little routines and habits surrounding my own sleep – for instance, I absolutely cannot sleep unless I read for at least 10 minutes before bed. You probably have your own little unique pre-bed habits and rituals as well. True, some of us are probably more habit-driven than others, but even preferring one sleeping position to another, or sleeping on the same side of the bed, is a kind of sleep habit. So is it any wonder that our little ones need the same?

The key is simply to ensure that your baby or toddler’s sleep habits are actually encouraging and helping sleep, and not disrupting it. And if that process is proving daunting or difficult for you, remember – we can help! Our team of expert consultants is ready to offer you compassionate, caring support that is 100% personalized to your unique situation. We will craft a Personalized Sleep Plan™ specifically for your family, that walks you through every step of night weaning, in a way that matches your goal and parenting style.

Browse our list of consultation package options here.

Once you make your choice and purchase, you will immediately receive an e-mail with your Helpdesk login information. You’ll be able to log in and get started immediately!

Want more information about how personalized help works? Check out our FAQ page here, and get answers. You can also take a tour of the Helpdesk.

Tell us about your little one’s sleep habits – healthy or unhealthy? Any tips to share about how to build healthy sleep associations? Share them below!

Our Members Area is packed with exclusive content and resources: e-Books, assessments, detailed case studies, expert advice, peer support, and more. It actually costs less to join than buying products separately! As a member, you’ll also enjoy a weekly chat with an expert sleep consultant. And the best part – members receive 20% off all sleep consultation services!

Essential Keys to Newborn Sleep Essential Keys to Your Newborn’s Sleep is THE newborn sleep book that will help you to not only improve your newborn’s sleep using gentle, sleep-inducing routines – it will also answer your feeding and newborn care questions. You can even buy a bundle package that includes the e-book AND a Personalized Sleep Plan™ PLUS a follow-up email to use for further support!

For those persistent nighttime struggles, check out The 3 Step System to Help Your Baby Sleep. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your baby sleep through the night.

If you’re looking for ways to get your baby or toddler into a healthy sleeping routine during the day, I encourage you to explore Mastering Naps and Schedules, a comprehensive guide to napping routines, nap transitions, and all the other important “how-tos” of good baby sleep. With over 45 sample sleep schedules and planning worksheets, Mastering Naps and Schedules is a hands-on tool ideal for any parenting style.

For those persistent toddler sleep struggles, check out The 5 Step System to Help Your Toddler Sleep. Using the same unique approach and practical tools for success, this e-book helps you and your toddler sleep through the night and enjoy a better daytime schedule.

Baby Won’t Nap? Here Are 7 Reasons Why (#7 Is Surprising!)

By Emily DeJeu

Nap time is, without a doubt, a tired parent’s favorite time of day. Baby goes down for a much-need snooze, leaving mom and dad time to have some much-needed “me time”.

But of course, in order for your baby’s nap time to be a favorite time of day, your baby has to actually, you know, TAKE A NAP. And therein lies the problem, for many parents!

So many of you have written in to us over the years, letting us know that your baby won’t nap, and you are at a loss as to why. Baby is tired? Check. Baby is settled in crib after nap time routine? Check. Baby not sleeping? ACK – check!

But why? Why is it that your baby won’t nap, especially when you’ve tried everything? Odds are, your baby won’t nap for one of the 7 reasons listed below.

Baby Won’t Nap? Here Are 7 Possible Reasons Why:

Under-tired
Over-tired
Lack of Routine
Environment
Developmental
Hungry
Sleep Associations

More Details On These Reasons Why Baby Won’t Nap…

Your baby may not be tired enough to nap (or under-tired). Well, this one just makes sense, right? Even if you think it’s nap time, if your baby is feeling wide-awake and energized, then she may not agree with you! So why might your baby just not be tired enough to take a restorative nap? Take a close look at your baby’s sleep and feeding schedule. Is nap time coming too close to your baby’s morning wake-up time, or perhaps too close to the last nap time? As your baby grows, she will need more and more awake time between sleeps.
Your baby may be too tired to nap (or over-tired). I know, I know…how can ‘too tired’ be a problem? Well, it’s true – a baby who is overly-tired actually has a harder time falling asleep and staying asleep than a baby who is well-rested. If your baby recently missed a nap, for example, or had lots of interrupted night sleep, or a too-late bedtime the night before, or was up way too early this morning, it may very well be that your baby is overly tired, and that’s why he’s not napping well. The key to preventing over-tiredness is a great schedule – be sure your daily schedule isn’t stretching your baby’s awake time past what he’s capable of.
Your baby doesn’t know it’s time to nap. Your baby can’t really consult her watch, after all ;). And really, if you think about it, just like you need to know that it’s time to sleep in order to settle in to bed and begin getting drowsy, your baby does, too. So how can you signal to your baby that it’s time to settle down and nap? By creating and then consistently doing a pre-nap routine! Similar to a bedtime routine, a nap time routine signals to your baby that nap time is approaching. A nap routine should be shorter than a bedtime routine, and should be soothing and calming enough to wind down even the most spirited baby. Just be sure that whatever you do for your nap time routine, you do it consistently at every nap – that’s how it will become routine for your baby, and consequently, that’s how it will begin to help your baby settle down and nap when she is supposed to.
Your baby isn’t in a “sleepy” environment. Where is your baby not napping, exactly? Is it in a darkened room, with some gentle white noise in the background? Or is it in the backseat of your brightly-lit car? Or in the stroller, in the middle of a crowded store? Or in your arms, in a noisy room? While newborns may be able to conk out and sleep just about anywhere, in any position, older babies and toddlers need a sleep-inducing environment that’s fairly quiet, dim, and calm, in order to sleep well.
Your baby is in the midst of a nap transition or developmental leap. Take comfort – this one has nothing to do with you! And this may very well be why some of you who know you are doing everything “right” are still struggling with naps. One common sign that a nap transition is approaching is that your baby will start to skip a nap off and on (usually the last nap of the day). And when your baby does take that nap, it may be more of a catnap than a long, restful nap. Similarly, your baby may be in the midst of a sleep regression (like the 4 month sleep regression, or the 8/9/10 month regression), and that may be the cause of the nap issues.
Your baby is too hungry to nap. Many of us who are “sleep-obsessed” (and hey, that describes all of us who work at The Baby Sleep Site^®) immediately jump to schedule and sleep-habit reasons when we are faced with sleep problems. But guess what? Sleep issues are often caused by a hungry tummy! Check your baby’s nap schedule, and then see how it’s lining up with her feeding schedule. Is your baby’s nap falling in the middle of what should be a feeding? Most of the time, it’s a good idea to feed your baby shortly before a nap (although not right before – you want a little time to burp your baby and let the food digest, particularly if your baby is prone to reflux).
Your baby doesn’t know how to fall asleep (and stay asleep) at nap time. So this one may catch you by surprise – it seems odd that a baby might not know how to fall asleep, right? Isn’t falling asleep just something that happens? Well, no, not really – knowing how to lie down, become drowsy, and fall asleep in a sleep space is actually a learned skill. If you want your baby to nap independently, in his own sleep space, then your baby will need to know how to do that. And if your baby is heavily reliant on YOU to fall asleep, because he has sleep associations that involve things like breastfeeding, or being rocked and held by you, then you may need to help your baby learn how to fall asleep with less help. And this, parents, is where Mastering Naps comes into play.

THIS Is What Good Baby Sleep Looks Like, According To Science.

How Much Sleep Do Babies and Toddlers Need?

Why Is Good Baby and Toddler Sleep Important?

Why “Screens Off” Is A Key Part Of Healthy Sleep Hygiene

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Need Baby and Toddler Sleep Help? We Have the Resources You Need!

10 Tough Baby Sleep Problems, and How To Solve Them

10 Common Baby Sleep Problems, and Sleep Training Solutions To Help

1. Your baby will fall asleep only when you feed him.

2. Your baby will fall asleep only when you rock her, or when she’s in the infant swing.

3. Your baby will fall asleep only when you hold her, or when he’s in a sling or wrap.

4. Your baby will fall asleep only in the carseat.

5. Your baby will sleep only in your bed, right next to you.

6. Your baby sleeps okay at night, but won’t fall asleep at nap time and won’t nap on a schedule.

7. Your baby falls asleep at bedtime, but wakes constantly for the rest of the night.

8. Your baby wakes to feed all night long.

9. Your baby sleeps fairly well, but wakes incredibly early and is up for the day well-before you’d like him to be.

10. Your baby was sleeping great, but has suddenly stopped and is now sleeping terribly.

How To Get Personalized Help For Tough Baby Sleep Problems

What tough baby sleep problems are you struggling through? Share your questions and comments below – we’ll answer!

Nursing Baby To Sleep: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Nursing Baby To Sleep: The Good

Nursing Baby To Sleep: The Bad

Nursing Baby To Sleep: The Ugly

Helping Baby Learn To Sleep WITHOUT Nursing and Feeding

Sleep Training Help That Works – Guaranteed!

Why does your baby fight sleep? Share your experiences and tips with us!

Healthy Sleep Habits: Why Not All Sleep Habits Are Bad

Healthy Sleep Habits: How Babies and Toddlers Form Sleep Habits

Good vs. Bad (or Healthy vs. Unhealthy) Sleep Habits

Why Healthy Sleep Habits Matter

Tell us about your little one’s sleep habits – healthy or unhealthy? Any tips to share about how to build healthy sleep associations? Share them below!

Baby Won’t Nap? Here Are 7 Reasons Why (#7 Is Surprising!)

Baby Won’t Nap? Here Are 7 Possible Reasons Why:

More Details On These Reasons Why Baby Won’t Nap…

Nap questions or tips? We love hearing from you! Scroll down to ask questions, to share your story, and to hear from other parents just like you!

Baby and Toddler Sleep Resources That Work – Guaranteed!

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