4 Month Old Sleep Explained (sometimes 3 months too)
Posted by Nicole on July 15th, 2008
Countless parents come for help with their 4 month old’s sleep. Why? This article will explain why “good” sleepers sometimes turn “bad” around the 3 or 4 month old mark.
How baby sleeps in the early weeks
When a newborn falls asleep, she immediately goes into deep sleep (also known as REM sleep, but I will avoid too much technical talk because that’s one reason I made this website, so you won’t have to learn the whole history of sleep if you don’t want to (or can’t stay awake to!)). If you are interested in knowing more about our biological rhythms and how we do sleep in more detail, I highly recommend the book, Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems). Newborns spend a lot of their time in deep sleep, which is why it is hard to wake them up (even to eat!) in those early days.
4 month old sleeps (and sometimes as early as 3 months)…
We all go in and out of light and deep sleep. As adults, we might change positions, look at the clock, or reposition our pillow. Up until now, you may have rocked your baby or simply given him a pacifier and he slept for hours without waking up. Well, at 3 or 4 months old, your baby is now sleeping more like an adult. Now when she falls asleep, instead of entering deep sleep, she enters lighter sleep, first. That’s why if you help her fall asleep, then put her down, she is likely to wake up because she isn’t in her deep sleep, yet.
4 month olds enter deep sleep…
Initially in the night, your 4 month old will enter deep sleep relatively quickly, within 30 minutes (this changes as we get older). However, as I said, we all cycle in and out of light and deep sleep. A child’s sleep cycle is about 45-50 minutes. So, your baby will briefly awake 45-50 minutes after she has been asleep. To put that in perspective, if you are holding your baby to sleep, you would need to hold her for at least 30 minutes to make sure she’s in deep sleep and then she might wake up 15 minutes later. Sound familiar?
Overall, though, your baby’s deepest sleep is in the early part of the night, so after that first sleep cycle, she might sleep just fine for a few hours. So, you’re golden right? Just hold her for an hour? Nope!
4 month old sleeps the rest of the night…
The technical definition of “sleeping through the night” is 5 hours of continuous sleep (i.e. no feedings) and many babies can/will do this by 2 or 3 months old. The beginning of the night is your baby’s deepest sleep and after the first 5 hours (if not sooner, depending on just how challenging he is), he will cycle between light and deep sleep, but not as deep as the beginning of the night. This is where the problem of sleep associations really come into play. If your baby needs your help to go to sleep in the beginning of the night, sometime after midnight or so, he will continue to need your help every 1 or 2 sleep cycles (that means every 45 to 90 minutes or as I often hear, every 1-2 hours).
Between 4-6 a.m., approximately, is the lightest sleep of the whole night (parents’ complaints alone make this true, in my experience, aside from my reading). In the very early morning hours (about 30 minutes to an hour before waking up), he will again go into the very deep sleep.
Although babies commonly wake up early, be sure it is truly their waking up time and not just this lighter sleep and that they are having trouble sleeping. You might notice they want a “nap” just 30 or so minutes after “waking up”. What you experienced was a night waking, not starting the day.
4 month old sleep regression
You might have heard about the 4 month sleep regression and wonder if your baby will go back to sleeping well. Some parents will be one of the lucky few whose baby will go back to sleeping well in 2-4 weeks, however, not all of us will be that lucky. For example, I find that babies who need a pacifier to sleep where you are replacing it many times per night do not stop needing that pacifier to sleep. You might get lucky and not have to replace it 10 times (maybe “just” 3-4), but maybe not. It is usually better to solve the root of the problem than to hope you are one of the lucky ones. So, maybe wait a few weeks, but if things aren’t better, plan to make changes. I talk to parents of 8 month olds and even 20 months old who are still waiting for their “baby” to grow out of their sleep problems.
4 month olds sleeping through the night…
How can you help your 4 month old sleeping through the night? Read this website (free article updates via e-mail is a good choice), be sure to check out my free guide, 5 Ways to Help Your Child Sleep Through the Night and/or get a detailed step-by-step baby sleep guide, which includes 2 of my e-mail baby sleep consultations, to answer all those “what if?” questions.
Share your 4 month old’s sleep story!
Tags: 4 month, 4 month babies, 4 month baby, 4 month development, 4 month infant, 4 month old, 4 month old baby sleep, 4 month old sleep, 4 month old sleep regression, 4 month old sleep schedule, 4 month sleep, 4 month sleep pattern, 4 month sleep regression, 4 month sleep schedule, baby sleep, sleep cycles
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March 29th, 2009
Sounds very interesting and soooo familiar. I am looking for any reasonable advise that explain the sleepless nights and frequent waking. If I can establish a regular sleep pattern that would be best. Thanks for the advise.
April 11th, 2009
The best thing for me is ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE. My 4 month old sleeps 10 hours at night from 9pm to 7am. During the day she’s on an eat, play, sleep schedule and I’ve gotten her on a 3-4 hour feeding schedule. To me, the trick is to make sure that they are full, not just satisfied. I let her tell me when she’s done eat (pushing the bottle away or falling asleep.) I let her play after she eats. When I see her yawn or rub her face I put her in her crib immediately. She’ll normally “talk” or whine for 5-10 minutes and then she sleeps for a good 2-3 hours at a time before we repeat the process. At night, we give her a bath using the lavender bedtime wash, then give her a baby massage with the lavender bedtime lotion, put on a fresh diaper and some pajamas, read a book, give her a bottle and when she’s finished we put her in her crib. She normally goes right to sleep without a pacifier or even “talking” and will be out for 10 hours. I may just have a good baby, but I believe that Routine is KEY. I hope that maybe this helps to see what other moms are doing!
GOOD LUCK!!
April 16th, 2009
@Ali You’re welcome!
July 21st, 2009
My baby is 4 month-old and she will fall asleep and the next moment she will wake up screaming “blue murder” tears running and everything!
Can you tell me why this happens and how can i help her to get throug thise?
July 22nd, 2009
Hi, my baby is 3.5months and I had the screaming blue murder episode the other night and was shocked and worried. Checked her temperature, fine. I ended up having to give her some milk beofre she settled again. My health visitor reckons it was colic. I’ve made sure I’v winded her really well since and I haven’t had a repeat. Saying that though I can’t her to sleep on her own without rocking her in my arms!
July 22nd, 2009
Sorry I also meant to say try infacol, gripe water or colief. Infacol is working for me.
August 7th, 2009
@Melissa You didn’t say how she is falling asleep, but if you are helping her fall asleep, you want to let her learn to fall asleep on her own. If you read my article about sleep associations, she is most likely waking up because she is not in the same environment that she fell asleep. Imagine if you fall asleep in your bed and wake up on the couch. You’d freak out too. I hope that makes sense! Here is the article about sleep associations: http://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/sleep-association/
August 7th, 2009
@Kate I think it’s pretty rare for colic to suddenly appear after 3 1/2 months. You generally see it start much sooner. We all have off nights once in awhile, so if that was the only time, I wouldn’t worry about it. Thank you for commenting and sharing infacol and gripe water!
September 12th, 2009
We also have a routine with our 4 month old, but it does us no good. Just over a week ago, her nighttime sleep fell apart, and it’s been getting much worse every night. She fell asleep at 7 pm after 30 minutes of trying and was up again at 8. We have been trying for the past 1 1/2 hours to get her back to sleep by rocking her. She’ll sleep in our arms for 30 minutes but then wake up about 2 minutes after we put her in the crib. Tonight will probably be worse than any of the past nights. (She’s normally been up about 8-9 times a night. She won’t cry herself to sleep–and she doesn’t show any signs of sickness or discomfort.
She used to put herself to sleep and sleep through the night. Nothing prepared us for this change! We’re at our wits’ end!
September 18th, 2009
@CvZ (((HUGS))) You are definitely not alone. Please read up on sleep associations here: http://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/sleep-association/ The key is to help her learn to fall asleep unassisted. Good luck!
September 21st, 2009
Nicole, thank you for the wealth of experiential knowledge you have passed on. My son, Nathan is 4mnths old. He started to wake 2 hrly at night crying and my evauation was that he was hungry ( was also in line with 16 wk growth spurt). This is now (a problem- as you would say) I bought a copy of ‘healthy sleep habits, happy baby’ by weissbluth at yr recommendation and have instituted ‘cry it out’. I did this when my 13 yr old was 10mnths. It was worse this time but I did it and he still loves me. He only fed twice last night between 6:15pm and 6am. Can I ask why you have in yr 4mnth routine, feeding 2hrly and not 3/4hrly? Is it because they r likely to have shorter naps bcause of sleep changes at 4mnths and u want to stick to feed, play, sleep pattern? I’m using the routine at the moment and he seems to fit it well.
Thanks again you are an angel!
Natalie
September 25th, 2009
@Natalie You’re very welcome and I’m glad you found a solution with your 4 month old! Yes, I was trying to stick to the eat, play, sleep routine, but many babies will vary in how long they can go. In my naps book I try to provide more variety. It will also depend on whether the baby is breastfeeding or formula feeding sometimes, too. My boys ate every 2 hours for quite awhile (I breastfed) but I know many babies can go 3-4 hours from early on. They are all just so different.
October 20th, 2009
My baby hardly ever would sleep! He is three months now and his first strech of sleep he can usually make it to 4 and half to five hours. It has helped me greatly to not put him to bed to soon, I feed him and rock him to sleep. Sometimes I would be putting him down to early and he would cry.
Another thing that is working really well is pushing him around in the stroller till he falls asleep and he will just sleep their till he wakes up!
November 6th, 2009
@Heather That’s great! I’m glad you found what works for him.
Continued luck to you.
November 7th, 2009
My baby’s sleep fell apart at 17 weeks, and it seemed to happen quite suddenly…
He had colic as a small baby, and used to really come unglued at 6 pm. We would settle him to sleep by about 7 and he would sleep until at least 2 or 3 am. I would feed him and he’d sleep again until 6- so lucky!!! He started to wake up more often, maybe 3 or 4 times a night. We have a bedtime routine ( bath, massage, jammies, lights out, breastfeed, back rub, crib). Now we are able to just put him in his crib, awake, no pacifier, and he will just chat a bit and go to sleep on his own (yay!). However, now he wakes up at LEAST every 2 hours- beginning at 9 pm. I have tried to let him sort it out himself and see if he’s not really “awake” but no way. I have tried the “hush, hush” from the side of the crib, and patting and touching him, but he will not settle unless I pick him up. Once he is settled (sometimes requires breastfeeding, sometimes just a cuddle) I can put him back in his crib and he will go back to sleep himself, only to wake an hour and a half later.
This has been going on now for 3 weeks, and I am exhausted. Am I doing something wrong? HELP!
November 22nd, 2009
@Karen It sounds like you’re doing a lot of right things, so I’d probably need more detail. I’m assuming he’s no longer swaddled and bedtime is still early such that he’s not over-tired. Once you do pick him up, do you make sure he goes back down awake? It sounds like he is just having trouble going BACK to sleep. My son mastered going TO sleep much sooner than BACK to sleep, too. Just keep trying. Some “get it” sooner than others. Hang in there and good luck!
December 8th, 2009
I have a 3 and half month old daughter. she does get 3-4 naps during the day. but, she does not seem to eat more than 3oz each feed and sometimes even less. throughout the day she eats total of 15-18oz. she is very playful during the day and sometimes takes 45 mins to eat!! exhausting. yes, i tried changing nipple size, but everything is out. at night, i have been trying to put her to bed by 8-8:30, but she wakes up atleast 3-4times at night and it all varies. she finally does wake up at 6am, but since I get up so many times at night, by 6am i can’t get up. so, she falls alseep until 8am. i don’t know how to get her eat well during th day, so she does not eat during the night. Please advise, I am tired!!
December 29th, 2009
@Shruti This could be a chicken and egg problem. She can’t eat more during the day because she’s not hungry because she’s eating so much at night. She can’t stop eating as much at night because she’s not eating enough in the day. The key here is to help her learn to fall asleep on her own at night, so you make sure she’s not waking so much at night just to go back to sleep and only out of true hunger. The next step is to slowly shift some of the feeding from night to day, so it’s not a huge shock to skip an entire meal at night. Hope this helps and good luck!
January 4th, 2010
My baby is 4 months old and has reflux. my pediatrician put her on medication (which is too strong and ineffective in my opinion) but she still believes that i should not stop it. because of reflux, my baby can’t eat a whole bottle or even half of it without vomitting the milk, which made me feed her small meals instead. she does not sleep much at night, if i put her to bed at 7-8pm, she would get up at 10 max, and doesn’t go back to sleep. i can’t get her to stick with a routine, she sometimes falls asleep at 11 pm or even as late as 2 am. she wakes up evry 2 hours, either to eat (because she’s never full) or because of discomfort. and i’m exhausted, can’t find a solution to this. on average, she sleeps a total of 9 hours max including naps. my pediatrician says i should be patient but i can’t get anything done. i feel i have no life at all. please help.
January 22nd, 2010
My baby is 3 & 1/2 months old & is breast fed. He just started on rice this past week & loves it. About a week before that he started want to only sleep with me.He used to sleep from about 10 to 4 wake up eat then go right back to sleep. now he wakes up every 2-3 hrs. He wont go down for a nap unless I walk him. He does everything he can to stay awake. I have to cover him with a blanket till he is aleep then rock him before I can put him down. He never liked to be swaddled. I’ve been trying to lay him down & let him sort it out. But he just gets really mad after about 10-15 min of crying. My friend said she has never heard a baby get so pissed off. any advice as to what I can do?
January 22nd, 2010
@Tala Does your daughter know how to fall asleep on her own? That is a good first step to rule out why exactly she is waking so frequently at night. Waking every 2 hours at night could just be the issue of she doesn’t know HOW to go back to sleep without your help. Solve that problem and she will most likely sleep in longer stretches. Good luck!
January 23rd, 2010
My baby is 4 months old, breastfed. Her nap schedule is changing for the past 2 weeks. She would wake for about 45 minutes to an hour, then nap for an hour, then wake again for another hour and nap again for another hour (sometimes her wake time is between 30-45 minutes)…this cycle repeats itself basically from the time she gets up (around 8-8:30) to 6:00pm. But when she is up, she is happy. However, she used to be able to nap for at least two hours at a time. She is doing well with her bedtime schedule (around 8:00pm) though. Should I try to implement a nap schedule as well? Would that help? It would be great if she could stay up and nap a bit longer each time as I am feeding her every time she gets up, which is every two hours, but I’m not sure if that’s too much. Please advise. Thanks.
January 29th, 2010
@Tala Does your daughter know how to fall asleep on her own? That is usually the first key to helping her sleep in longer stretches. I am not saying she’s not suffering from reflux, but if she’s on strong medication and her sleep hasn’t improved, there is probably more going on. I’d probably need to know more about what you’ve tried but it doesn’t sound like she’s getting enough sleep at all.
I hope you will consider one-on-one consultations, so we can come up with a realistic plan for you. Good luck!