Sleep Training (From No Cry to Cry) Series – Part 1
Posted by Nicole on May 6th, 2008
Today I will start a series of posts outlining the variety of sleep training methods that I recommend. I will post them in order (as I interpret them) from no (or very little) crying to the most (potential) crying. There are many variations of these methods, so I am only going to highlight the main gist of each method. Every parent can add tweaks here and there to accommodate their unique style and situation. At the end of the series, I will tell my story of my first son and, eventually, my second. So, let’s get started! I’m anxious to share this information!
Why Sleep Train?
The primary goal of sleep training is to help your baby learn how to fall asleep on his or her own. We often do not give babies enough credit that they can learn to do this when they are very young. Habits become harder and harder to break as they get older, and I have had people tell me that even waiting until 8 months has felt too late. It is also important to understand how sleep associations work and why it’s often the only thing standing in your and your baby’s way of getting a good night’s sleep. The same way sleep deprivation and sleep fragmentation are hard on you, it’s hard on your baby, too. Not enough sleep can lead to obesity and other problems, as well.
When should you start sleep training?
If you have an “easy” sleeper, you probably already had it done at just a few weeks old. Some babies simply start sleeping all night. I have said before, this website is not really geared towards parents of those babies. It’s simply not that easy for all of us.
Although, it never hurts to try to put down your newborn when (s)he is still awake and see if (s)he will drift off unassisted, I do not advocate beginning formal sleep training until at least 4 months old and ideally, I believe it’s easiest during the 4 to 7 month age range. Of course, it’s never too late to help your baby learn to fall asleep unassisted, it’s just as they get older and start to pull up and stand, it becomes a bit more complicated. Once they turn one, they have a stronger will and things can get even harder. As always, this depends on the baby and thus, as usual, I urge you to decide for yourself when the “right” time is. It has to be right for you and your baby and you know your baby best. You must be in a place that you can 100% stay consistent and stick with it. That is an important step in any and all methods you choose. I have seen some parents start as early as 8-10 weeks and I’ve helped others get their 2 or 3 year old sleeping all night. That is an important item to note for those who believe that all kids will grow out of not sleeping all night. I’m sure you’ve seen commercials for drugs that help adults sleep such as Ambien or Lunesta. Your child may or may not outgrow these sleep problems and they become habit more than anything. Although babies go through sleep regressions, I always urge parents to look at the habits they may or may not help foster. Sure, it might be normal for some nightwakings throughout babyhood, but when your baby is waking up every 1-2 hours for a bottle or rocking in a rocking chair, this is not normal and not good for them. We ALL feel better on as little sleep fragmentation as possible and that includes your baby.
What’s my first step?
Your first step in sleep training is developing a bedtime routine. Children thrive on routine and it sets expectations so they know what’s going to come next. If every night is different, it does not cue them that the day is coming to a close and that their body should start to relax and get ready to go to sleep. When done right, part way into the routine, your child will probably start to get very sleepy because (s)he is associating certain actions with going to sleep. A routine also helps when you are away from home on vacation or special outing because the routine is the same.
What does a bedtime routine include?
The routine is up to you and your baby/toddler/child and what (s)he likes or dislikes, but a typical routine might include diaper and pajamas, a quiet game, teeth brushing, potty (if applicable), book (or 2), singing and cuddling, and then lights out. I purposely missed a bath in the routine. I did that for a couple reasons. Some people don’t want to or can’t give a bath every day and the other reason is if you have a spirited 
You now have the first step in sleep training. Next in my series, Part 2, I will start with the first method for those who co-sleep.
But, first, do you have any special steps in your bedtime routine you’d like to share?
Tags: baby, baby sleep, baby sleep help, child sleep, child sleep problems, CIO, cry-it-out, infant sleep, no cry, no cry sleep solution, pantley no cry, routine, sleep, sleep problems children, Sleep Training
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May 6th, 2008
I love the idea of a bedtime routine. Cuddling up with your favorite blanket and drifting off to sleep sounds so soothing. Thank you for the tips you are sharing. I will follow the rest of the series.
Ambajams last blog post..1
May 6th, 2008
@Ambajam Thank you for reading and I’m glad you are finding the site useful. I look forward to further comments on the series.
Nicoles last blog post..Sleep Training (From No Cry to Cry) Series – Part 1
September 15th, 2008
I read the nap article and the sleep series (1-4).
I have a 6 month old and naps are becoming shorter and less reliable. I thought I was just cursed with a baby that takes short naps — but now I realize that he is over-tired. I knew he was tired, but he would only sleep for 1/2 an hour and I was so puzzled. But if I took a nap with him, he would sleep longer. We do not co-sleep at night (and luckily he has been sleeping through the night since he was 2 months). However, in the morning, he wakes up, I would nurse him back to sleep so I could sleep longer. This evolved into nursing him to sleep for naps and now he is starting to have difficulty going to sleep at night, whereas he used to go to bed with no problem (we have a nighttime routine). I started nursing him for naps out of laziness, I suppose. I knew I shoudln’t, but I knew he was tired and I needed to get things done, so I just did it. Now I realize the great mistake it is. i also never paid attention to the amount of time between naps. So I am sure he is awake too long and is over-tired and can’t get to a restful state. (He is a very active boy).
Anyway, I realized I should have a nap routine! Just like I put him to sleep at night — nurse to a drowsy state and then into the crib, I should do it during the day too.
Thanks.
February 25th, 2009
I have a one year old, who is an absolute pleasure, except when it comes to sleep. I have tried sleep training before, and there is always such drama,screaming, coughing and crying that I’m not sure it is working. I tried consistently for 10 days but there was little improvement. I have now given up, and resorted back to getting up three times a night and giving him a bottle on demand. I’m at my wits end and not sure what to do from here. Should I attempt sleep coaching again, even though it upsets my child so much, or do you have other suggestions. Also I was advised by my baby clinic that I should start watering down his night bottles as he shouldn’t need them at this stage… what is your opinion on this?
I have a really good night time routine, which works, it really is just the night time wakings and his day naps. His day naps are virtually impossible to get him down, no matter where we are.
Please Help!!!!
March 2nd, 2009
@Cindy Watering down a bottle does not really help, usually, as you are replacing one sleep association for another, probably. There is a lot in between accepting where you are and cry it out. I would need to know more details to give you specific advice, though. You may want to consider sleep consultations. Thank you for commenting!
May 12th, 2009
i Just wanted to say what a relief it was to find your site. You have helped us so much to understand and start to help our 3 month old. We are very lucky. She sleeps for a solid and uninterrupted time at night (she loves a bath at night) and have been practising a bedtime routine for almost 1 month now. The issue was her naps. They were often too short and she became overtired. Your site enabled me to start teaching her lots of different ways to sleep. In a sling, in her bed, in the stroller and now she sleeps so well. We are still working on her transitions after about 45 mins of sleep though but as you rightly point out this is a matter of sleep maturity which cannot be rushed. So THANKYOU!!! Your site is Number 1
May 15th, 2009
@Sarah Thank you!!! You’re welcome!
January 20th, 2010
@cindy,
hey cindy, my daughter who was one at the tiem was havign the same problem, my health nurse suggesting gradually putting less and less milk by 10, 20 or thirty mls, in the bottle at a time and once it gets down to only 30 mls thats when you can just drop that feed altogethr, and when they wake for the bottle just go in and pat his/her back or somethng,
it worked for me, so thought i would suggest it to you, and i hope it helps as i know how grumpy it makes us with lack of sleep
good luck!