QUICK SLEEP TIP: Why Your Baby Wakes Up Crying
“Why does my baby wake up crying?”
That’s a question we hear a lot – and it’s the questions we’re answering in today’s quick tip article!
Why Your Baby Wakes Up Crying
Well, for starters, your baby may obviously wake up crying sometimes due too the need to eat (hunger is a powerful motivator!). Additionally, your baby may wake up with a wet or dirty (or leaky) diaper, or may wake up because he’s too hot or cold. These are all perfectly reasonable reasons for a baby to wake up – and they’re all reasons that mom and dad need to address, either by feeding or changing baby.
A bit less straightforward is the fact that many babies wake up due to their sleep associations. Some sleep associations are pretty straightforward causes of crying upon waking – for example, if your baby’s pacifier falls out, she may very well be pretty frustrated that she can’t put it back in, and that may lead to tears!
But some other sleep associations are less easy to spot as the cause of crying upon waking. If you normally rock or nurse your baby to sleep, she may cry when she wakes up because she’s no longer moving and/or sucking. Similarly, if you typically hold your baby for sleep, he may cry if he wakes up in his crib and is no longer being held.
Beyond these reasons, though, here’s something to remember: we all wake up briefly between sleep cycles from time to time. Our babies are no different. Sometimes, your baby may wake slightly and cry between sleep cycles. This is often the cause of those weird 2 minute crying spells that you sometimes might hear in the middle of the night, or during a nap. Do you know what I mean? Those times when you hear a cry, but by the time you’re up and moving toward baby, he’s already fallen back to sleep? The cause there is just brief waking during sleep cycles that happens to be accompanied by some fussing.
That goes hand-in-hand with the next point: for some children, waking up crying is a sign that they aren’t really done sleeping yet, and need more rest. We suspect this has something to do with temperament – while some babies might wake too early from sleep and be fairly quiet and content, others will just wail. This was the case for Nicole:
“With my first-born, if he woke up crying, it 90% of the time meant that he was not done sleeping. He may have awakened in between sleep cycles and had trouble going into the next one.”
In these cases, it’s sometimes best to wait a minute or two when you hear crying that you suspect is just waking between sleep cycles – sometimes, your baby will go right back to sleep. Or, even if you ultimately to go in to comfort your baby, you’ll know that the goal should be to help baby get back to sleep, because she isn’t fully rested yet.
Finally, keep in mind that some babies (and toddlers, for that matter) cry after waking even if they’re fully rested. Some babies will wake up from a marathon nap crying, or will wake after a long night of peaceful sleep just wailing. In these cases, the problem is most likely that the child just needs a bit of time to fully wake up. (Heck, I know adults like this – I’m one of them, in fact!! 😉 I don’t wake up crying, but boy, do I need plenty of time and space to fully wake up!) In these cases, you can try simply cuddling your child, or offering a small snack or a favorite toy, and allowing your child to slowly wake up.
So, in short, if your baby often wakes up crying, you’ll want to evaluate the reasons. If it’s not something that requires immediate attention, like hunger of an uncomfortable diaper or illness, then evaluate whether or not it may be a sleep association. To do that, you’ll want to think about how your child falls asleep (in your arms, in the rocker?), and then compare that to how your child is waking up (in the crib, alone?). Finally, keep in mind that temperament makes a difference, too – it may just be that crying is one way that your child lets you know he’s not done sleeping, or it may be that your kiddo is one who needs to wake up slowly, and is going to fuss a bit while he does it! 😉
Does your baby wake-up crying? What do you think the reason is? Have questions about crying upon waking? Scroll down to ask questions, to share insights, and to hear from other parents just like you!
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Hi, my baby is 13 weeks old today and has been crying very loudly (almost screaming sometimes) for a few seconds in her sleep for several days now. She doesn’t open her eyes. At first it was a few times in the night and now it is every 30-40 minutes and then every 5-10 minutes at around 5am, at which point I wake her up because it’s so upsetting. She has been waking up around 5:45am for the last several weeks. Her bedtime for the last several weeks is between 6:30 and 8:00ish and she will sleep through the night until 5-6:30am without any feedings if bedtime is closer to 8:00. She has been consolidating her afternoon nap lately to 1.5 hrs from her usual 30-45 minute nap but again cries after 30-40 minutes while asleep. Prior to her consolidation, she was taking a 30-45 minute nap about every 2 hours (sometimes less than 2 hours depending on cues), but almost always waking up crying and when I would go to her she didn’t seem totally awake so I started letting her fuss a few minutes about 2 weeks ago and she has been putting herself back to sleep. I usually rock her to drowsy then put her down for her naps in her Snoo (electric bassinet, which I lock at the lowest setting). Lately she has been fighting me rocking her for naps and bedtime and screams so I just hold her to my chest vertically almost diagonally and shift my weight side to side then put her down awake if she doesn’t get drowsy. She also hasn’t been giving me much of any sleep cue lately. At night she sometimes falls asleep nursing and I don’t wake her because she has/had reflux and I have to wait 30 minutes to put her down after eating. If she wakes up by herself before the 30 minutes, I try to rock her to sleep (not to drowsy), but she’s been fighting me/screaming. Any help determining what to do about her “night wakings” and soothing is greatly appreciated.
@Aly – Thank you for reading and for sharing with us. I’m sorry you’ve been having a time with your daughter crying out in her sleep. This type of behavior can sometimes be normal but can otherwise be caused by a number of things. We don’t have enough details from you to give you an accurate suggestion though. You should consider connecting with one of our sleep consultants who can help you further once she has more information. You can read more about our ladies here: http://www.babysleepsite.com/about You can read more about helping babies with reflux sleep here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/baby-infant-reflux-gerd-sleep-better-tips/ Hang in there, Aly!
In response to the above article what do you do if your child has a sleep association. How do you set him out of that. My 2 1/2 year old has some sleep associations and wakes up every night after about 3 to three hours of sleep crying and will not stop until we pick him up. His cry most night is not wailing. It’s more like a cry to let us know he’s sort of up and wants us to come in and get him.
Hi @Perry – Thank you for writing us. I’m sorry to hear your family is having sleep problems and your son is struggling with sleep. It certainly does sound like he has some sleep associations keeping him from sleeping in loner stretches. You’re not alone and we would love to help!
If you haven’t already, we welcome you to peruse our blog article that addresses this here:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/sleep-association/
If you prefer to bypass this, we have e-Books and premium resources available where the research has been done for you. Or, for the fastest service, we have expert sleep consultants who can help you determine why he is not sleeping well, and make a Plan to help – if you’re interested.
Check out our sleep consultation packages here:
http://babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services?utm_source=crs&utm_medium=desk
Good luck Perry! We hope that your toddler is sleeping well very soon!
My 3year old wakes up so grumpy EVERY morning and then again after her avo nap. It drives me crazy what can i do for her so she wakes up calm and happy
Hi Deb,
Thank you for visiting The Baby Sleep Site! I’m sorry to hear your daughter is grumpy 🙁 If you’ve talked to her pediatrician and ruled out a medical issue, the most likely problem is some issue with her schedule, causing her to be overtired. We have an article with an average toddler schedule and info on average sleep needs for this age here to help: https://www.babysleepsite.com/schedules/toddler-schedule/
Good luck!
My newborn is nearly 8 weeks old. Just the past two weeks we realized he kept waking up crying after we put him down during the daytime. Night was ok though. We would feed him, burp and put him upright for 20mins then lay him down and he was already asleep. Then half an hour to an hour later he just wakes up hysterical. We have to carry and comfort him a little then put him back and the same cycle repeats again. We also realized his awake time during the day has gotten a lot more. He can be awake for 4hours straight, sleep, scream murder, awake for milk again and cycle repeats. Is something wrong??
Hi @Val, congratulations on your new baby boy! I am sorry you have been experiencing him waking up crying. It could be for a number of reasons, so it is really hard to say without really knowing your son and what is going on. We do have a free guide that may help give some information to see if there’s anything you may decide to try/change. To sign up to receive the guide please follow the directions here: http://www.babysleepsite.com/15-free-baby-sleep-facts-new-parents-must-know/
If you need additional help, let us know! We have a huge variety of resources that can support you through this transition as a new parent and would love to be a part of your sleep journey.
Hi, My son just turned 4 months today. Before daycare, he was an ok sleeper. Waking up once at night to eat, but sometimes sleeping through the night. Since he started daycare about a month ago, he’s been waking up more and more at night. Just this week, he started waking up every 2 hours SCREAMING. I read about sleep associations. We have been putting him down awake in his crib since he was 2 months old, but for naps he sleeps in a swing or rocker at daycare. Could this be compromising our baby’s night sleeping?
Hi @Melissa, I am sorry your son is suddenly struggling with sleeping! As a Client Relations Representative I do not have the knowledge to know for sure if the swing at daycare is the culprit or not. You may also want to check out this article on the 4 month sleep regression to read about the big developmental change you may be feeling the effects of as well: https://www.babysleepsite.com/how-we-sleep/4-month-old-sleep-regression/
If this problem doesn’t resolve in the next few weeks, let us know! We can certainly help put together a plan for you that will work with your son’s daycare schedule as well. You can read about our personalized packages here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/
Hang in there and I hope you all get some good sleep soon!
HI
I have a 3 week old daughter and she would not sleep in her crib she sleeps on my arms and every time I put her down she starts to cry until I pick her up again what can I do I have tried swaddling her but this has not worked
@Ritta Hi there, welcome to our sleepy little village, and congratulations on becoming a mom! 🙂 Young babies do, in fact, like to be held a lot, since that’s most like the womb. You may want to look into “baby wearing.” Although your baby may or may not have colic, this article may help: https://www.babysleepsite.com/colic-newborn-baby-how-to-cope/ Good luck!
Pls my babe is 1year 9month and he do crying when is asleep. What can cause it
@Murphy – Thank you for stopping by our sleepy little village and for your comment. I’m so sorry to hear that your little guy is crying out in his sleep! I know how concerning and likely exhausting that can be for you all. Unfortunately, there are numerous reasons why he could be crying in his sleep as the article mentions, and I don’t have much information from you to come up with a good guess. First, I would say be sure to run this past his healthcare provider to be sure there is no medical reason for the crying such as an illness, food allergy or teething. If that gets the all clear, please look into his daily eating and sleeping environment and schedule to see if he’s getting enough nutrition and enough sleep during the day since both could lead to restless sleep and crying in the night, especially if he was too tired at bedtime. This sample toddler schedule could be helpful for you, if that’s the case: https://www.babysleepsite.com/schedules/toddler-schedule/
I hope this helps you some, Murphy. Hang in there!
Hi. My baby just turned 5 months. She’s been having difficulties sleeping for. Few weeks now. After I put her to sleep by carrying her around for a few minutes and then putting her in her crib, she wakes up in about 10 minutes 3-4 times before finally falling asleep. She sleeps 1-3 hour block at night. Usually, 3 hours, 2 hours, 1-2 hours, 1-2 hours. I’m trying not to loose my mind. She is a big baby. She was 16.5 lb at 4 months checkup. I started giving her rice cereal with breastmilk at night but it didn’t help 🙁 I started changing her diaper twice a night because about 2 weeks ago I realized that her diaper leaked. That happened for at least a week before I realized it. I use one size bigger diapers at night now. She started waking up often because of her leaked diapers but now she doesn’t have this issue and still wakes up 3-5 times a night. Please help.
@Ksenia I’m sorry that sleep has been rough for your daughter over the last few weeks. It’s possible that she is experiencing the 4 month sleep regression. This occurs when sleep cycles become more like adults, rather than newborns. Sometimes children will adjust on their own, and sometimes they may need a little assistance. I really like this article which explains more about this sleep regression and what you can do to help your daughter during this time: http://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/4-month-sleep-regression
Also, we have a free guide specifically geared towards helping with night wakings. It explains why they tend to happen, and what you can do. You can read more about the free guide here: http://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-through-night-free-ebook/
I hope this information helps you and your daughter. Best of luck to you and thank you for taking the time to comment!
Hi. Thanks for the great article. My son, who is now 3 years 3 months, slept through from the age of 10 months. 3 weeks ago he mentioned that he had a nightmare about robots the night before. That night he was really scared about having another nightmare, but actually slept through. The next night he woke at 5:30am. My husband went to see him and he went back to sleep. Over the next few nights he woke earlier and earlier, but would not go back to sleep. Then he started refusing to go to sleep at his usual 8pm bedtime unless myself or my husband were in the room. When he fell asleep, we would creep out. Then he would wake at some point during the night and need one of us to go and sit with him until he fell asleep. If he later woke and we were gone, he would get up again. We have tried leaving lights on, cuddly toys, night lights, star projectors, music, monster/ robot getting rid of things, a gro clock and white noise. We have tried talking through his concerns with him many times, but get little sense from him. Nothing has helped. He has been in a toddler bed for 6 months with no issues. We once tried returning him to bed as soon as he got up, but he would get up literally as soon as we put him back in bed. I did this for about 10 mins before I was too physically exhausted to continue (and he was extremely upset). One night he woke while I was downstairs watching TV with my husband. We turned the TV off and were silent. He climbed over the stairgate at the top of the stairs out of desperation (which he has never done before, but has numerous times since). When we tried locking his bedroom door, he tried climbing up to the window!! Now we leave the hall light on, music on (until the CD ends),and both stair gates open. We sit with him (we read a book and give him little interaction) with music on until he falls asleep. When he comes downstairs during the night and into our bedroom, my husband goes back to his bedroom with him and sleeps on the floor by his bed until morning (with little interaction). Now he rarely mentions robots/ nightmares, but just says that he wants us to stay with him all night. Obviously we are very unhappy with this situation. He started nursery school and a new childminders 2 months ago (which was stressful for everyone even though he had been to a nursery before). We are not sure if this is a contributory factor. We also have to consider our 12 month old when we consider sleep training etc. He still sleeps in our bedroom (to reduce disruption to both kids as we sleep on different floors), but would be disturbed by prolonged crying.
We are unsure whether to continue ‘giving in’ to our 3 year old in case it is stress related (and hope it is a short lived phase). Or if we are causing long term sleep problems.
Sorry for the essay. Any help would be much appreciated
@Sarah Hi Sarah! Thanks for your comment! I’m so sorry to hear that your older son is struggling so much with his sleep lately, especially with a younger sibling to care for as well. That can be really tough! We do often see a spike in separation anxiety around this age, and you may like our article on separation anxiety here: http://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/baby-toddler-sleep-separation-anxiety/
We also have two articles covering nightmares and night terrors, which often appear around this age, here: http://www.babysleepsite.com/toddlers/toddler-preschooler-nightmares-how-to-handle-part-1/
Based on your description of what’s going on, and for how long, you may be seeing some bedtime resistance due to a scheduling issue, as well as the “normal” toddler limit-testing. Some children resist a lot when bedtime is too early or too late, and overtiredness can also increase the symptoms of separation anxiety 🙁 This is an issue that our sleep consultants work with very often, if you’d like some more specialized help! You can read more about our consultation packages here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/
I hope those links will help you, and please hang in there!
Emily I wanted to thank you for reply, I have read through the links you posted and I believe I have found he was still hungry, from one of the links discussed growth spurts and being more hungry and I think the sleep regression & growth spurts have overlapped.
Tonight is the first night he has not woken screaming and he has been asleep for 3 hours… This is amazing for him.
This is such a wonderful website & very thankful for the advice.
Thanks again
Kimberley
@ Kimberley – No problem at all! It’s our pleasure to help 🙂 I am thrilled that you were able to solve this problem yourself, using our info; we love hearing happy stories like yours! Please don’t hesitate to contact us again if you have questions or concerns; we are here for you. Best wishes and happy sleeping!
Please help! My boy is 4 months & 1 week old and he goes to bed at 6.30pm. He was always a great sleeper at night only crying for food every 3/4 hours. For the past 4 weeks he wakes about an hour after being put down screaming, he will then scream on and off for the next couple of hours during his sleep, he’s sort of wakes to scream, once I settle him he’s back to sleep until the next scream 15 mins or so later.
I thought he may be hungry, so I started solids. He has rice cereal in the morning after a breastfeed & about 6.15pm after his evening breastfeed, usually avocado or pumpkin.
However he still wakes screaming a few times.
I thought it may be teething but it’s been going on too long I think for teething. I’m seriously at a loss of why he wakes several times screaming within the first 4 hours of being put to bed at night. Any advice I would truly welcome.
Thank you so much
@ Kimberley – I can definitely provide you with some insights into this tough situation. First of all, though, let me say how sorry I am that you are struggling with this! I imagine you must be so exhausted and frustrated. That said, what your son is going through is very normal. It’s something called the 4 month sleep regression, and it’s a doozie. Simply put, your son is going through some major brain development, and it is wreaking havoc on his sleeping patterns. ”
These articles about sleep regressions may really help you:
http://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-patterns/4-month-sleep-regression/
http://www.babysleepsite.com/how-we-sleep/4-month-old-sleep-regression/
http://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-patterns/sleep-regressions/
http://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-regression-2/sleep-regression-baby-growth-spurts/
I hope these resources really help, Kimberley. The tough news is that the changes brought about by this sleep regression are permanent; that is, sleep will never go back to how it was before. The good news, though, is that this regression usually lasts just a few weeks; after that point, you can work on teaching your baby healthy sleep habits that involve falling asleep independently, sleeping through the night, and napping consistently — and once your child learns to do this after the 4 month sleep regression, these habits are almost always permanent!
A great place to start with sleep coaching is our free guide, 5 Ways To Help Your Child Sleep Through The Night (http://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-through-night-free-ebook/). Once you feel like your baby is through the worst of the 4 month sleep regression, you can start putting the tips in this guide into practice.
Again, I hope you find these resources helpful, Kimberley! Best of luck to you and to your family. Please don’t hesitate to contact us again if you have any questions or concerns. Hope you are all sleeping soundly very soon!!