“Why does my baby wake up crying?”
That’s a question we hear a lot – and it’s the questions we’re answering in today’s quick tip article!
Why Your Baby Wakes Up Crying
Well, for starters, your baby may obviously wake up crying sometimes due too the need to eat (hunger is a powerful motivator!). Additionally, your baby may wake up with a wet or dirty (or leaky) diaper, or may wake up because he’s too hot or cold. These are all perfectly reasonable reasons for a baby to wake up – and they’re all reasons that mom and dad need to address, either by feeding or changing baby.
A bit less straightforward is the fact that many babies wake up due to their sleep associations. Some sleep associations are pretty straightforward causes of crying upon waking – for example, if your baby’s pacifier falls out, she may very well be pretty frustrated that she can’t put it back in, and that may lead to tears!
But some other sleep associations are less easy to spot as the cause of crying upon waking. If you normally rock or nurse your baby to sleep, she may cry when she wakes up because she’s no longer moving and/or sucking. Similarly, if you typically hold your baby for sleep, he may cry if he wakes up in his crib and is no longer behind held.
Beyond these reasons, though, here’s something to remember: we all wake up briefly between sleep cycles from time to time. Our babies are no different. Sometimes, your baby may wake slightly and cry between sleep cycles. This is often the cause of those weird 2 minute crying spells that you sometimes might hear in the middle of the night, or during a nap. Do you know what I mean? Those times when you hear a cry, but by the time you’re up and moving toward baby, he’s already fallen back to sleep? The cause there is just brief waking during sleep cycles that happens to be accompanied by some fussing.
That goes hand-in-hand with the next point: for some children, waking up crying is a sign that they aren’t really done sleeping yet, and need more rest. We suspect this has something to do with temperament – while some babies might wake too early from sleep and be fairly quiet and content, others will just wail. This was the case for Nicole:
“With my first-born, if he woke up crying, it 90% of the time meant that he was not done sleeping. He may have awakened in between sleep cycles and had trouble going into the next one.”
In these cases, it’s sometimes best to wait a minute or two when you hear crying that you suspect is just waking between sleep cycles – sometimes, your baby will go right back to sleep. Or, even if you ultimately to go in to comfort your baby, you’ll know that the goal should be to help baby get back to sleep, because she isn’t fully rested yet.
Finally, keep in mind that some babies (and toddlers, for that matter) cry after waking even if they’re fully rested. Some babies will wake up from a marathon nap crying, or will wake after a long night of peaceful sleep just wailing. In these cases, the problem is most likely that the child just needs a bit of time to fully wake up. (Heck, I know adults like this – I’m one of them, in fact!! 😉 I don’t wake up crying, but boy, do I need plenty of time and space to fully wake up!) In these cases, you can try simply cuddling your child, or offering a small snack or a favorite toy, and allowing your child to slowly wake up.
So, in short, if your baby often wakes up crying, you’ll want to evaluate the reasons. If it’s not something that requires immediate attention, like hunger of an uncomfortable diaper or illness, then evaluate whether or not it may be a sleep association. To do that, you’ll want to think about how your child falls asleep (in your arms, in the rocker?), and then compare that to how your child is waking up (in the crib, alone?). Finally, keep in mind that temperament makes a difference, too – it may just be that crying is one way that your child lets you know he’s not done sleeping, or it may be that your kiddo is one who needs to wake up slowly, and is going to fuss a bit while he does it! 😉
Does your baby wake-up crying? What do you think the reason is? Have questions about crying upon waking? Scroll down to ask questions, to share insights, and to hear from other parents just like you!
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We have had it where our son may cry at night and I’ll send my husband in to check on him. Dad may get him back to sleep for 5 min but he’ll again wake. I go in sooth him & it seems all he needed was to hear mommy’s voice. To me that seems like he’s having an infant night terror. He’s had them before when he was younger & we did everything on the list & it seemed like nothing so that was the only thing that explained it.
My 14 month old wakes up crying from almost every nap and night sleep, pretty much. Once in awhile, she’ll wake up happy, but it’s rare. She takes a 2-3 hour nap each day and sleeps 11-12 hours at night, so it’s not like she’s sleep deprived. She often wakes too early for my taste at around 5:30, but then dozes/whines off and on until around 6:30 when we get her out of her crib. She goes to bed around 6:30/7 pm. Any ideas? I have no idea how to get her to wake up happy.
My 7-mo old wakes up crying most of the time, and often it seems to be that he’s still tired. It will even happen after a 1 1/2 hour morning nap. I’m pretty sure he’s just perpetually tired!
Our little guy (18 months old) is similar to Claire’s description. Another detail is that he almost always cries himself to sleep. When he’s in the crib, he’s either cry or sound asleep. Very rarely anything else.
After 14 months old, my daughter finally achieved decent sleep habits (with help from the Sleep Site). She is now 2 years 2 months, and has never woken up doing anything but crying. Not. Once. At 2 years, this has converted mostly to waking up whining.
(The one exception is if we wake her up just before she would have gotten up herself. Then she’s cool with it. This is chancey though, since we might mess up and wake her up mid-sleep cycle. If that happens we get some SERIOUS crying.)
She is a champion napper, and at bedtime stalls worse than her Mom (and I admit I’m terribly guilty of the adult version of this), but eventually understands that it is bedtime and goes right down for the full night (usually 10 solid hours, for a daily combined of 12 hours at this point). She won’t sleep any longer, no matter what we do.
Now that’s she’s really verbal, I’ve been coaching her that she can call to us if she is up for the day, without whining or crying. She seems to understand that this will bring us faster (because the crying is quieter than a good bellowed “Mommy!”), but so far we haven’t seen much of a change.
Maybe she’s just not a morning person?
I have a 4 year old and a 16 month old. Both kids were bad sleepers as infants. They now both do fairly well. My oldest still to this day 99% of the time wakes up crying. It is just part of his temperament, I suppose. He always needs to ease into being awake. It can be really frustrating when you want to get up and going in a hurry, but I really think it is outside of his (or our!) control.
@ Kate – you may be right – we don’t know if babies dream/have nightmares, but it’s possible they do! You can see our thoughts on that in this post: http://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-patterns/do-babies-dream-what-do-babies-dream-about/ As for you being more soothing than dad – not uncommon at all! We call that ‘mom as sleep association’. Some kids just need mom around at bedtime, or when they wake at night. Very sweet – until it becomes unmanageable, that is. 😉
Thanks for commenting, kate!
@ Claire – Sounds like my oldest son! He was a great sleeper, but he’d wake up wailing after 12-hour night. For him, it was a temperament thing – he was (and still is, to some degree) a grump waker-upper. My solution was usually to just get him up, give him a little snack and some watered-down juice, and then let him fully wake up. I tried snuggling him, but that usually just made it worse! But I learned that if I gave him a little space, he’d calm himself down and then come and join the rest of us.
Thanks for commenting, Claire!
@ Rachel – could be that he has a really high sleep need! Some kids do. And, of course, some kids are just crabby waker-uppers. My oldest son definitely was. (My middle son wasn’t, though – he was super cheerful after naps and in the morning. So take heart – your next one may be a little ray of sunshine when he/she wakes up!! 😉
Thanks for commenting, Rachel!
@ Elijah – oh, that’s got to be tough, to have him cry when he’s in the crib. No fun at all 🙁 You can see my comment to Claire – sounds like it may just be temperament. As I mentioned to her, my oldest was just a Grumpy Gus when he was waking up (and he wasn’t all that fond of going to sleep either). He’s mostly grown out of it now, though – so know that this won’t last forever!!
Thanks for commenting, Elijah!
@ Anna – ha! Good point – I know plenty of adults who aren’t morning people; who’s to say the same doesn’t apply to our kiddos? It also sounds like she may be at the lower end of the sleep needs spectrum, which is fine. (Also – so glad to hear our help was useful in getting her to sleep well! Yay!!)
Thanks for commenting, Anna!
@ Emily (great name, BTW!) – I hear you. My oldest was such a crab in the morning for the LONGEST time. Not so much anymore, but we endured if for years. What doesn’t help is that I’m no picnic in the morning, either, so my husband used to joke that the two of us were like oil and water each morning. My oldest son would crab at me, and I’d crab right back at him!! Husband says this was hilarious, but I wouldn’t know…I was too grumpy to tell 😉
@Anna, That’s just what my oldest was like (except for the champion napper part – she was awful. :-)). When she was your daughter’s age, we told her that instead of crying, she needed to call us nicely. Then, if she woke up crying, we’d go to her room, remind her of the rule, and leave until she called without crying. I think it took a while, but it really did work. So hang in there. 🙂
My 3.5 month old son wakes up crying from his naps. He naps anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour. I feed him before each nap. When he wakes up screaming, I feed him thinking he may be hungry. He does eat so I don’t know if I should keep doing this or let him cry until he falls back asleep.
@ Kristen – oh boy, this is tough! I will say that short-ish (30 minute) naps aren’t abnormal at this age. I would definitely avoid doing any CIO at this age – 3.5 months is pretty young for that. Is he eating every few hours during the day still? Also – have you taken a look at our newborn sleep book, Essential Keys to Your Newborn’s Sleep? Lots of good info in there about how you can help establish gentle sleep and feeding routines that minimize crying at this age.
Hope this helps, Kristen! Best wishes to you and to your family 🙂
My 9 month old usually sleeps around 30-45 mins for two of her naps and because of this, she usually needs one more nap. I am concerned that she is not getting the quality sleep she needs since she does not sleep for an hour or more for most of her naps. If she is waking up and crying in between the sleep cycles, how long is it reasonable to wait before going back in and comforting her because it seems that I end up waking her up all the way instead?
My 20 month old will wake up if there is heavy rain. He screams until I go in and mumbles rain. I can’t do anything about it, which I find really frustrating.
He’s always has been one of those babies that needed to fuss to get to sleep and between sleep cycles. If you went in during the fussing he would scream and cry as though I was interfering with his sleep. Thankfully, as he’s gotten older he has over come this. I put it down to temperment and got a video monitor so when he did start crying I could just check he was ok without having to go in and disturb him. I found it hard to hang back at first too!
@ Teri – great question! Is she able to fall asleep at the start of her nap without help from you? If so, then that’s good – what you’ll want to work on is lengthening naps. But if she can’t fall asleep w/o your help at the start of the nap, then that’s probably the root of the problem; you’d want to work on helping her learn to fall asleep independently. You can check out our free guide for that, 5 Ways To Help Your Child Sleep Through the Night (all the techniques apply to naps as well :).
If she can fall asleep independently, then to lengthen the nap, you’d want to work for maybe 15-30 minutes to help her calm down and relax – but not necessarily put her to sleep, if that makes sense. Then, after 15-30 minutes, you can just call it quits and wait for the next nap to calm down. Does this help?
We do have a day-by-day nap training plan available in our Members Area that might help you; you can read more about becoming a member here: http://www.babysleepsite.com/diy/#membership
Thanks for commenting, Teri!!
@ Anna – sounds like a video monitor has been a great solution for you…that’s awesome! Thanks for sharing a bit about your experience with us 🙂
My 13 month old daughter has been sleeping through 10-12 hours every night since she was 3 months old. She was always slow to wake, but never woke up grumpy. Then around 7 months, she started to wail if she was ever woken, but not if she woke up on her own well rested. I suspect it may all connected to her teething, the timing is right. She is getting her molars now, and for the first time ever, she is waking in the middle of the night. She is one tough cookie, but if her molars are waking her, I’d imagine the pain from the other 8 could account for grumpiness. Either that, or she is just like her father…lol.
@ sarah – oh, so sorry you’re dealing with this!! It’s possible that she’s just going through a little phase related to her teething, or perhaps to her growth and development – lots of kids start waking at night and sleeping worse when they go through a growth spurt, or when they suddenly learn a new skill, like walking or crawling or pulling up to standing. If you’re interested, we offer a free guide that lays out 5 ways you can help your daughter return to peaceful, sleep-filled nights – you can learn about it here.
Thanks for commenting, sarah! Best of luck to you 🙂
My 5 1/2 month old takes about a 2.5 hour midday nap. She goes into the crib awake or drowsy and drifts off on her own. Within the last week she started rolling over onto her tummy. She awakens frequently during this nap; anywhere from 5-10 times! She let’s out a cry or whine, finds her thumb then usually drifts back to sleep. I consider this nap pretty long, sometimes she has hit a 3 hour mark-at which point I wake her as to not interfere with her nighttime sleep. Since she wakes so often, do I still count it as a 2.5hr nap or do I subtract the time awake AND when do I go in to get her?
@ Gina – good question! Depends on how long the waking is. If she’s waking for just a few minutes, like you’re describing, then I wouldn’t worry about that, and wouldn’t count it against the overall nap length. But if the waking is more like 10 or 15 minutes, or something longer like that, then I’d probably consider that the end of that particular nap, and then would try again for the next nap later.
Hope that helps! Best of luck to you 🙂
My 14 month occasionally wakes up crying for 30+ minutes after his nap and nothing seems to be working to calm/soothe him. He, by all accounts, *seems* in good health. Not sure what could be causing this. Any suggestions?
@ John – Well, the first question would be how much nap sleep he’s getting, compared to his overall sleep. Some kids will wake up too early from a nap because they are overtired, and they’ll cry because they’re still sleepy. If this is a new thing, it may just be a weird little developmental quirk that’ll pass on its own. Or, if your son tend to be fussy after sleep on the whole (my firstborn son was that way), this may just be a temperament thing.
Hope this helps, John – best of luck to you!
My 20 month old naps 1.5-3.5 uninterrupted hours with our nanny but at home naps for about 30 minute windows and wakes up screaming in between each window. He usually screams for 1-3 minutes and then gives up and falls back asleep. At the third round of screaming–so usually a total of 90 minutes–I give up and get him.
If I go in, he’s usually up–he won’t go back to sleep. (Though I just rubbed his back and sang and he eventually lay back down and I successfully left the room. He’s not asleep, but he’s quiet.)
Any thoughts on what’s going on? Same amount of light in both rooms. White noise in both rooms. Successful night sleep.
Thanks.
@ Beth – believe it or not, this is pretty common! Lots of babies and toddlers will sleep better for someone else than they will for mom. I’d start by asking your nanny exactly how she does naptime – routine, etc. Try to mimic that exactly. Then, treat any early nap-wakings as just that – too-early wakings. You can use a check-and-console approach; check in with your toddler when he wakes to early, offer comfort, and then leave. Gradually stretch your check-in times until he’s learning to fall back to sleep on his own. It might take some patience on your part, but you can get there 🙂
Best of luck to you, Beth! Thanks for commenting.
Hello there! I have been so thankful to come across your site as I raise my little girl Blakely who is now 10 months old. She is a champion sleeper and always has been (thanks to your site and suggestions). She’s been self soothing with little to no fuss since she was 3.5 months old. Currently she naps 2-3 hours a day and sleeps 11.5-12.5 hours at night straight with no feeding finally. BUT, the past couple of months, during her night time sleep every 2 hours, she lets out a fuss which triggers my monitor to come on but by the time I look at the monitor she’s back asleep. You must be thinking, why that’s great! And it is and I’m very proud of her except, I’m still waking every 2 hours at night when my baby is sleeping 12 hours straight with no feeding. ? I’ve even turned off the monitor one night to see how that would go and I can still hear her which startles me awake. So to my question, is this just a normal developmental thing that she will soon (very soon) overcome? Or is there some hidden secret that I’m missing? Lol thank you so much for your time
@ Tara – This sounds normal to me – may just be a phase that’s taking awhile to pass. Some kids just do this; my own daughter did it for months and months, and I eventually just got used to it and, while I would wake when she fussed, I got to the point where I could fall back to sleep pretty quickly.
Have you considered trying white noise in your own room, to see if you can block out some of that fussing? Since you know she falls back to sleep, you could probably feel fine about trying to block out the moments of fussing.
You also mentioned that you’re waking every 2 hours at night; this sounds like “mommy” insomnia (a.k.a. Postpartum Insomnia) to me, which is very normal! This article might help: http://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/baby-sleeping-how-mom-can-sleep-more/
Best of luck to you, Tara! Thanks for commenting.
Hi. My 9 month old baby used to sleep through the night most nights up until about a month ago. Now he tends to wake up twice a night. The first time is usually between 10pm and 12pm. He will sometimes be crying or sometimes just whining. We have tried leaving him but the crying gets worse. Often we will be able to settle him back to sleep fairly easily by putting a hand on his chest and singing to him. The next wake up can be at any point during the night and he will awake on average about 2 hours. Here he will sometimes seem very tired or sometimes seem wide awake. Comforting him in his cot, cuddling him, putting the cot mobile on, giving him a toy, or feeding him rarely works. Sadly what does work (eventually) is co-sleeping which we usually end up doing after all of the above. This is something neither myself or my husband want to encourage. Day time wise he will have 2 naps (totalling about 3 hours) or 3 short naps. He will go to sleep unassisted and with minimal crying for naps and nighttime. He doesn’t seem to be teething, or hungry at night. He is in good health and eats a decent amount of solids. He is breastfed (3 feeds a day). He has not learnt any new skill recently, but is trying very hard to crawl. Any suggestions would be extremely appreciated. Thanks
@ Sarah – Hmmmm…..could this be the 8-10 month regression? It sounds like it to me, especially since you mention your son was sleeping well but isn’t all of a sudden. You can read more about handling this regression here: http://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-patterns/8-9-10-month-old-baby-sleep-regression/ and here: http://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-regression-2/the-8-10-month-sleep-regression-survival-guide/
Hope these resources help you, Sarah! Good luck to you and your family.
I think I may have created a monster and hoping someone has some insight. My now 11 month old had horrible colic and food intolerances so we had a really tough time with sleep from day one. Things have gotten much better but now that we are trying a variety of food it’s brought up some new sleep issues. At 6 months of age we took away her binky for naps and night time sleep because it was causing so many disruptions. Things were going ok but after a month or so of 20+ min of screaming every nap I gave in and gave her the binky for naps only. She continues to not get one a bedtime. This was going great for a while but in the past month or so we are having a lot of night crying. Mostly from about 3am on. It is exactly as you described, super short, she settles herself but whoa it is disrupting my sleep big time. I’m kind of a mess because I have a hard time falling back to sleep. I’m wondering could it be a food issue because I definitely notice it more if she eats something she shouldn’t (i.e.. corn/corn products), is she mad she doesn’t have the binky, or is this just her personality? Contemplating giving her a binky at bedtime. Hugh step back but I really need to get some uninterrupted sleep. Also of note I already wear earplugs and use a sound machine. I unfortunately have sonar strength hearing 🙁 Any insight would be greatly appreciated!!! Thanks! Also, great site! It has been SOOOO helpful!
@ Andrea – I hear you on the “sonar” hearing…I have the same! I used to be an expert sleeper before I had kids; I could sleep anywhere, through anything. Now, I wake up all the time and am the lightest sleeper ever. I blame my kids. 😉
In terms of what to do: it does sound like you have a strong association going w/ the pacifier, and that it’s causing more problems than it’s worth (since you mention “so many disruptions” when she uses it). I think you’re safe to try pacifier weaning for both naps and nights, given her age. This article may help: http://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/pacifier-weaning-stop-baby-toddler-how-when/
In general, it sounds like you may need to do some sleep coaching. You can start with our free, guide, 5 Ways to Help Your Child Sleep Through the Night (http://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-through-night-free-ebook/)
As for the food issues – in order to be totally on the safe side, I recommend having a thorough eval. done by your healthcare provider. This is the safest way to rule out any medical concerns. Once your daughter has a clean bill of health (and recommendations about coping with any food issues), you can sleep coach without worrying about how your daughter’s diet may be influencing the process.
Best of luck to you, Andrea! Hope things improve soon 🙂
Our now 5-month old baby only wakes up screaming hard if he has a burp that needs to get out. In those cases, we always pick him up, wait until the burp comes up, and then put him right back down (he usually falls right back asleep on my shoulder). If it’s a less frantic cry, putting the pacifier back is usually enough. So in our case, learning to hear the difference between the types of crying was essential. If he wakes up and is all smiley, we know he has slept enough 🙂
To soothe a colicky and crying baby, babies magic tea is the best home remedy. I have used it with great success by soothing my non-stop crying baby.
My 2 year old used to wake happy from naps and in the morning so we could leave him till we were ready to get him. Now he wakes and screams so we have to get him straight away and he doesn’t give himself time to wake up slowly so can be a nightmare for a few minutes. I think now he’s older he just wants to get up and play again.
@ Rose Falcon – Thank you for your recommendation!! We do appreciate it.
@ Jules – Hmmmm….is it possible he is going through the 2 year sleep regression? (http://www.babysleepsite.com/toddlers/5-things-about-2-year-old-toddler-sleep/) This could explain the crying. Your best bet is to stick to your usual routines as best you can, so that you don’t create any new sleep habits. Within a few weeks, this should improve.
Good luck to you, Jules, and thanks for commenting!
Please help! My boy is 4 months & 1 week old and he goes to bed at 6.30pm. He was always a great sleeper at night only crying for food every 3/4 hours. For the past 4 weeks he wakes about an hour after being put down screaming, he will then scream on and off for the next couple of hours during his sleep, he’s sort of wakes to scream, once I settle him he’s back to sleep until the next scream 15 mins or so later.
I thought he may be hungry, so I started solids. He has rice cereal in the morning after a breastfeed & about 6.15pm after his evening breastfeed, usually avocado or pumpkin.
However he still wakes screaming a few times.
I thought it may be teething but it’s been going on too long I think for teething. I’m seriously at a loss of why he wakes several times screaming within the first 4 hours of being put to bed at night. Any advice I would truly welcome.
Thank you so much
@ Kimberley – I can definitely provide you with some insights into this tough situation. First of all, though, let me say how sorry I am that you are struggling with this! I imagine you must be so exhausted and frustrated. That said, what your son is going through is very normal. It’s something called the 4 month sleep regression, and it’s a doozie. Simply put, your son is going through some major brain development, and it is wreaking havoc on his sleeping patterns. ”
These articles about sleep regressions may really help you:
http://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-patterns/4-month-sleep-regression/
http://www.babysleepsite.com/how-we-sleep/4-month-old-sleep-regression/
http://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-patterns/sleep-regressions/
http://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-regression-2/sleep-regression-baby-growth-spurts/
I hope these resources really help, Kimberley. The tough news is that the changes brought about by this sleep regression are permanent; that is, sleep will never go back to how it was before. The good news, though, is that this regression usually lasts just a few weeks; after that point, you can work on teaching your baby healthy sleep habits that involve falling asleep independently, sleeping through the night, and napping consistently — and once your child learns to do this after the 4 month sleep regression, these habits are almost always permanent!
A great place to start with sleep coaching is our free guide, 5 Ways To Help Your Child Sleep Through The Night (http://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-through-night-free-ebook/). Once you feel like your baby is through the worst of the 4 month sleep regression, you can start putting the tips in this guide into practice.
Again, I hope you find these resources helpful, Kimberley! Best of luck to you and to your family. Please don’t hesitate to contact us again if you have any questions or concerns. Hope you are all sleeping soundly very soon!!
Emily I wanted to thank you for reply, I have read through the links you posted and I believe I have found he was still hungry, from one of the links discussed growth spurts and being more hungry and I think the sleep regression & growth spurts have overlapped.
Tonight is the first night he has not woken screaming and he has been asleep for 3 hours… This is amazing for him.
This is such a wonderful website & very thankful for the advice.
Thanks again
Kimberley
@ Kimberley – No problem at all! It’s our pleasure to help 🙂 I am thrilled that you were able to solve this problem yourself, using our info; we love hearing happy stories like yours! Please don’t hesitate to contact us again if you have questions or concerns; we are here for you. Best wishes and happy sleeping!
Hi. Thanks for the great article. My son, who is now 3 years 3 months, slept through from the age of 10 months. 3 weeks ago he mentioned that he had a nightmare about robots the night before. That night he was really scared about having another nightmare, but actually slept through. The next night he woke at 5:30am. My husband went to see him and he went back to sleep. Over the next few nights he woke earlier and earlier, but would not go back to sleep. Then he started refusing to go to sleep at his usual 8pm bedtime unless myself or my husband were in the room. When he fell asleep, we would creep out. Then he would wake at some point during the night and need one of us to go and sit with him until he fell asleep. If he later woke and we were gone, he would get up again. We have tried leaving lights on, cuddly toys, night lights, star projectors, music, monster/ robot getting rid of things, a gro clock and white noise. We have tried talking through his concerns with him many times, but get little sense from him. Nothing has helped. He has been in a toddler bed for 6 months with no issues. We once tried returning him to bed as soon as he got up, but he would get up literally as soon as we put him back in bed. I did this for about 10 mins before I was too physically exhausted to continue (and he was extremely upset). One night he woke while I was downstairs watching TV with my husband. We turned the TV off and were silent. He climbed over the stairgate at the top of the stairs out of desperation (which he has never done before, but has numerous times since). When we tried locking his bedroom door, he tried climbing up to the window!! Now we leave the hall light on, music on (until the CD ends),and both stair gates open. We sit with him (we read a book and give him little interaction) with music on until he falls asleep. When he comes downstairs during the night and into our bedroom, my husband goes back to his bedroom with him and sleeps on the floor by his bed until morning (with little interaction). Now he rarely mentions robots/ nightmares, but just says that he wants us to stay with him all night. Obviously we are very unhappy with this situation. He started nursery school and a new childminders 2 months ago (which was stressful for everyone even though he had been to a nursery before). We are not sure if this is a contributory factor. We also have to consider our 12 month old when we consider sleep training etc. He still sleeps in our bedroom (to reduce disruption to both kids as we sleep on different floors), but would be disturbed by prolonged crying.
We are unsure whether to continue ‘giving in’ to our 3 year old in case it is stress related (and hope it is a short lived phase). Or if we are causing long term sleep problems.
Sorry for the essay. Any help would be much appreciated
@Sarah Hi Sarah! Thanks for your comment! I’m so sorry to hear that your older son is struggling so much with his sleep lately, especially with a younger sibling to care for as well. That can be really tough! We do often see a spike in separation anxiety around this age, and you may like our article on separation anxiety here: http://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/baby-toddler-sleep-separation-anxiety/
We also have two articles covering nightmares and night terrors, which often appear around this age, here: http://www.babysleepsite.com/toddlers/toddler-preschooler-nightmares-how-to-handle-part-1/
Based on your description of what’s going on, and for how long, you may be seeing some bedtime resistance due to a scheduling issue, as well as the “normal” toddler limit-testing. Some children resist a lot when bedtime is too early or too late, and overtiredness can also increase the symptoms of separation anxiety 🙁 This is an issue that our sleep consultants work with very often, if you’d like some more specialized help! You can read more about our consultation packages here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/
I hope those links will help you, and please hang in there!
Hi. My baby just turned 5 months. She’s been having difficulties sleeping for. Few weeks now. After I put her to sleep by carrying her around for a few minutes and then putting her in her crib, she wakes up in about 10 minutes 3-4 times before finally falling asleep. She sleeps 1-3 hour block at night. Usually, 3 hours, 2 hours, 1-2 hours, 1-2 hours. I’m trying not to loose my mind. She is a big baby. She was 16.5 lb at 4 months checkup. I started giving her rice cereal with breastmilk at night but it didn’t help 🙁 I started changing her diaper twice a night because about 2 weeks ago I realized that her diaper leaked. That happened for at least a week before I realized it. I use one size bigger diapers at night now. She started waking up often because of her leaked diapers but now she doesn’t have this issue and still wakes up 3-5 times a night. Please help.
@Ksenia I’m sorry that sleep has been rough for your daughter over the last few weeks. It’s possible that she is experiencing the 4 month sleep regression. This occurs when sleep cycles become more like adults, rather than newborns. Sometimes children will adjust on their own, and sometimes they may need a little assistance. I really like this article which explains more about this sleep regression and what you can do to help your daughter during this time: http://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/4-month-sleep-regression
Also, we have a free guide specifically geared towards helping with night wakings. It explains why they tend to happen, and what you can do. You can read more about the free guide here: http://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-through-night-free-ebook/
I hope this information helps you and your daughter. Best of luck to you and thank you for taking the time to comment!