Do you want more sleep?   Yes! I need more sleep.

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  1. marisa o says

    My daughter is 15 1/2 months old and she was preemie 6 weeks. She must have a bottle to even start to fall asleep unless in the car, but she wont take a cup.i have to hold her with her strugglign to finally try and pass out, i wait for her to fall asleep and then try and transfer her most of the times she wakes when i transfer her and starts to cry again. I am single parent alone and it makes life very hard. She will cry and if i dont reach her soon enough she will vomit 1-2 times, i’ll clean her change her the bed the floor and have to go back out the living room on the couch for her to calm back down and go to sleep and sometimes give her some more milk.
    She will awake again between 12-4 and i let her cry again sometimes she falls back asleep and sometimes she cries and cries (WE COshare a room) and i’ll get her and she will come into bed with me and finally falls back to sleep.. but i dont rest well and i dont think she does either..
    her naps are the same way.. unless i am traveling and she will doze off with ease.
    please help i am not working, i feel like i’ve done everything even the checks at different times. i am struggling because sometimes i’ll have to rush to the bathroom or hold it and if she wakes again she goes into a fit. Im sure some part of it is separation anxiety and i never did a sleep training with her in the beginning but she didnt need it she was a good sleeper but always fell asleep in my arms first and then i transferred her and it started around 7months and my father and stepmother dont’ listen or agree to my arrangements for her and told me to wait till she was much older but i need it done now. i was told after a trauma like that violent crying is why she slept so well.
    i did it for 2-3 weeks but the naps were always an issue and she always cried for 35-110 minutes allt he time.

  2. Bianca says

    🙂 I also forgot to mention that I have to rock her to sleep every time before putting her down for her naps & bed time – where as before I fed her & rocked her in a chair for 5 minutes until she was sleepy, but awake, & then put her down to sleep – no problem. Now when I rock her in my arms (heavy & not so little anymore) I have to wait until shes fast asleep, so that she doesn’t wake when putting her down otherwise i have to start the whole process over again.

    • Emily DeJeu says

      @ Bianca — Ok, I see. Yes, it sounds like she’s becoming dependent on the rocking to fall asleep. You can utilize the same sleep training techniques and strategies now that you used when she was 5 months old. It may be best to sleep train while you’re at home, and then utilize some of the tips from the room-sharing article to keep up with good sleep habits and practices while you’re traveling on the road. This way, you won’t have to worry about disturbing other people while you’re sleep training.

      Thanks for commenting, Bianca! 🙂

  3. Bianca says

    Hi Emily.
    My one year old has been a perfect sleeper up until 2 months ago, when we started traveling. I did some sleep training in the beginning with her & she slept straight through the night (10 – 12 hours), without a feed, from around 5 months. Now, because of the unsettledness of constantly moving around & not wanting to disturb other fellow travelers, I pick her up at night when she cries and put her in bed with us… & I feed her! It seems like I have gone and undone all that hard, paid off work & created bad habits for her. We will be returning home in a month or so, only for a couple months, but do intend on traveling for an extended time there after.Is there anything I can do to get her back into a good routine again?

    • Emily DeJeu says

      @ Bianca — since you mentioned that you plan on doing extended traveling for awhile, you probably don’t want to retrain her on how to sleep in her own crib, in her own room (since that’s not going to be your ‘norm’). Instead, you’ll want to focus on helping her learn how to sleep on her own, and stay asleep, in a traveling environment.

      Let me ask — when you travel with her, does she share a room with you? If so, this post might be helpful to you: It deals with how to sleep train while room-sharing. Some of those tips will likely apply to your situation.

      Hope this helps, Bianca! Thanks for commenting. 🙂

  4. Emily DeJeu says

    @ Desi — after 18 months, the whole concept of ‘ideal windows’ kind of disappears. There’s a sleep regression that happens around the 2 year mark, so that may be another tough time. But once you’re past 2, there aren’t really ideal ages anymore.

    If you’re sleep training a toddler and need some help, consider downloading our free toddler guide (if you haven’t already): a

    Hope this resources helps, Desi! Thanks for commenting 🙂

    @ marisa o — oh my goodness, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this! Sounds awful. No wonder CIO isn’t working for you; it must be absolutely awful to see your daughter cry and then throw up! I don’t blame you a bit for giving up on this method — doesn’t sound like it’s right for you or your daughter.

    There are other things to try. How old is your daughter? Knowing that will help me better understand what resources to point you towards.

  5. Emily DeJeu says

    @ Lisa — I’d say definitely do it sooner rather than later. You’re in a good window here, so as soon as his room is ready, go for it! As for how to sleep coach — have you downloaded our free guide yet? That’s a great place to start:

    @ Kristin Maslan — yes, Wonder Weeks is a good resource, especially for the newborn and infant stages!

    @ Hena — both, really. Helping a baby learn to fall asleep on his/her own is the first step in helping a baby sleep through the night. And the phrase ‘sleep through the night’ is kind of misleading; it technically means a 5-6 hour stretch without feedings, but many parents use ‘sleep through the night’ to mean a full night of sleep the way we adults would consider it (more like 8 or 9 hours).

    You can teach your baby to fall asleep independently at any point after 4 months, using a variety of techniques. Most babies can sleep 5-6 hours without feedings by about 6 or 7 months of age (some much earlier, some a bit later). By 12 months, babies should be able to sleep 10 or 11 hours without needing any feedings.

    Hope this helps, Hena! Not sure how old your baby is, but these general guidelines may be useful. You may also want to check out our free guide, if you haven’t yet:

    Thanks for commenting, Hena! 🙂

  6. marisa o says

    I read your guides and tried staying in her room not looking at her and that didn’t work and then just went to CIO and leaving. My daughter has a easy gag reflex and always throws up within a few minutes of crying violently. Its has abrupted my sleep training for her and i face issues when she goes to her grandparents they dont follow my directions and tell me im traumatizing her and she is a baby and doens’t need it. Ive given up because I dont want a baby throwing up every night and with the irregularities of changing homes.

  7. Desi says

    how about older toddlers?
    Are there such windows later – after the 18-th month or after the child is two years old?

  8. Hena says

    When you’re talking about sleep training, are you talking about sleep training to have them sleep longer at night, or to get them to fall asleep on their own? If it’s to get them to sleep longer, what is the expectation in terms of how many continuous hours (an EBF) baby should sleep at night?

  9. Kristi Maslan says

    I have been using the Wonder Weeks app to help me with knowing when my baby will have predictable fussy/clingy periods and more stable periods. I have found it to be very accurate,and so helpful to know exactly when to sleep train!

  10. Lisa says

    My son is 10.5mnths old and been sleeping in our room(mostly our bed). His own room is nearly ready(finishing renos) for him to be in! Should we wait till 11mnths to start sleep training? He is bf back to sleep and uses a paci. I am in the process of weaning to just bottle during day and at bed time. Any tips greatly appreciated.