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Do you want more sleep?   Yes! I need more sleep.

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  1. Nele says:

    I started FIO 4 days ago. I end the nursing before she is asleep, put her down and put my hand on her belly and sing (she does scream but much less on day 4). She holds tight to my hand. Is that ok?

    We co-sleep and she always needs sooo much physical contact, all night long. The closer, the better. Even then she wakes up 10 times a night. She is 14 months old. Very exhausting…

    Is putting a hand on her belly creating a new sleep prop? I thought of doing it like this first, and later on working on falling asleep without my hand. Hopefully she will need less contact during the night in the future and be able to get back to sleep without my touch or without nursing.

    And another question: do i need to do the exact same thing with every night waking? So, only using my hand and never allowing her to fall back asleep while lying close to me?

    Thanks

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says:

      Hi @Nele – Thanks for writing, and I am sorry to hear that your sweet little girl is waking 10 times per night (or more?)! That’s so tough, and we understand! It sounds like FIO is going well for you which is great! You leaving your hand on her can also be considered part of the fading! As she gets used to this, you can slowly fade that too! What you do for the night wakings is up to you, and how fast you want to move through fading it out! Go at your own pace, and fade at your own pace too! If you’d like one on one help with this, we’d love to work closely with you as you continue. Please just contact us if you’d like any information about our email or phone + email consultation packages!

  2. Larissa Da Silva says:

    My babe is 8 months old. If I usually nurse him to sleep would I just nurse him one minute less than usual every few days?

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says:

      Hi @Larissa – Thank you for writing to us about your 8 month old! You are free to proceed with FIO (Fading it out) in a gentle manner that works for you and your baby, but you do not necessarily want to reduce any feedings. You can start the feed a bit early, and still have a full feed as is age and developmentally appropriate for your little guy, but end that feeding while he’s not fully asleep. So, he’d still get the full nursing session, but he could also start to work on putting himself to sleep without feeding to sleep. I hope that our information and articles help and that everything goes smoothly!

  3. Erin says:

    With FIO how much crying is truly involved? If baby gets worked up and you have to use another method to soothe rather than rock or nurse what can you use that’s not creating a new prop?

    • Emily DeJeu says:

      @ Erin – That depends entirely on how gentle you want to make it, but generally, FIO involves very limited crying because you step in to offer comfort when your baby gets worked up. Now, you can certainly use FIO at first and then transition to another method (maybe you use FIO for a week, let’s say, and then, once you feel your baby is starting to “get it”, you transition to a check-and-console approach), so the level of crying is dependent on how much patience and persistence you have. Straight FIO does take time, but it is very gentle…so there are pluses and minuses. Does that make sense?

      As for HOW you soothe your baby with FIO, the goal of your soothing is to soothe until baby is comforted but NOT asleep. In other words, you don’t soothe your baby by rocking her to sleep; you soothe her by rocking her until she is calmer, and then you lay her back down drowsy, but awake. If you stick to that principle, you’ll avoid creating any new, bad sleep habits that have to be undone later.

      Thanks for your question, Erin; feel free to ask more, if I haven’t explained myself well in this response!

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