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Do you want more sleep?   Yes! I need more sleep.

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  1. Clarissa says

    My baby is 3 months old and has such a hard time taking naps during the day. We rock him for about 15 minutes and he falls asleep, sometimes crying and fussing while we rock him, and then we put him down. He will only nap for about 30 minutes and then wakes up. We try to put him back down but he don’t go. He is still tired though and fussy for the rest of the day. He will then continue to only get 30 minute naps for the rest of the day. At night though he goes to bed at 8:00pm and will wake up at about 2 for a bottle and then 6am to start his day. We hear him wiggling around at night about to wake up but he can always put himself back to sleep. We just need his day time naps to be better. We want to sleep train him just don’t know how and how long to let him cry. We have a pretty persistent baby.

    • Neosha says

      @Clarissa – Thank you for reading and for sharing with us! Persistent babies are wonderful adventures, if not a bit frustrating at times! 🙂 It’s very common and normal for 3 month old babies’ naps to be a bit erratic and on the shorter side, so no worries there. Check out this article that goes over in more detail how to help your 3 month nap better – https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-guide/2-3-month-old-baby-sleep-guide/ Hope this helps, Clarissa. Hang in there!

  2. Jennifer says

    My 20 month old has never really slept thru the night and she still wakes up for a bottle. Recently she wakes up for a bottle and refuses to go back to sleep. I want to cut out the middle of the night bottle and get her to sleep all night. Is 20 months too old for the CIO method?

    • Neosha says

      @Jennifer – Thank you for reading and for sharing with us. 20 months isn’t too old for the CIO method though you may experience a bit “more” forceful crying than you would from a 5 or 6 month old baby depending on your little girl’s personality and temperament. Having a good, solid plan of action before you get started will go a long way to a successful sleep training journey. Consider our Express Sleep Plan if you find you’d like a bit more help with the day-to-day plan. Wishing you guys all the best as you get started! Let us know if we can be of any help throughout this process.

  3. Gina says

    My 18m old has recently been refusing naps. She has always been very easy. Just put her sleep sac ,turn on her dream machine and lay her down! The last few weeks she simply refuses. She will stand in her crib and cry for a bit and then just stand for a bit. This will go on for 30 min. I finally can’t stand to here her cry so I’ll go console her lay her back down and it starts all over again. I have no idea what to do and she is so tired ?

    • Janelle Reid says

      Hi @Gina, thanks for writing to us. I’m sorry you’re struggling with your daughter’s naps recently. There is actually a development that happens around this age so this extremely frustrating and heartbreaking time, is actually super common. Here is a link with more information about the 18 month regression and you can see if you think it relates to your daughter: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-patterns/why-18-month-sleep-regression-can-be-hardest/
      You’ll see tips in there of how to cope, so let us know if you have any other questions, we are here to help. Hang in there!

  4. Anna says

    One more question. She’s almost 6 months and I noticed the first tooth coming out. She is a bit fussy at times but not exesively. Is it a good time to start the training? Do babies complain about teething every day until all the tooth comebout?

  5. Anna says

    My baby is now 6 months and I would like to reduce her night feeding from 2 to 1. She settles herself easily after the night routine and is asleep at 9pm. Then around 24 or 1 I give her night feeding. Then she wakes up crying at 4 or 5 and I feed her. She’s would them sleep until around 7:30 am and we start the day. I want to remove the 4am feeding. I noticed she doesn’t need to eat because sometimes I would replace feeding with a bottle of camomile, would complains it’s not milk but she drinks it and goes back to sleep. I’ve beef doning this for the last 4 days hoping that eventually she would get bored of waking up for just a bottle of camomile. So far she keeps waking up at 4 or 5am. Do you know if this method works? Trying everything before I go for CIO

    • Janelle Reid says

      Hi @Anna, thanks for writing to us. I’m going to respond to both of your comments here. Here is a link to a sample schedule for a 6 month old for your reference: https://www.babysleepsite.com/schedules/6-month-old-baby-schedule/ On here you’ll be able to see the amount of milk she needs to consume in a 24 hour period. Some 6 month olds will still need 1-2 feedings per night, so before trying to cut the 4am feeding one out, I’d make sure that she is getting what she needs during the day so she is not missing out on those calories and then filling up on something else. For sleep training with teething, we generally suggest to move forward with whatever your plan is regardless, simply because your daughter could be teething on and off for the next 2 years while all her teeth come in. It would be a long time to wait, so we help ease their pain the best we can, and then press forward.
      For your mention of wanting to do anything before CIO, I will mention that there are lots of other options for sleep training as well. I can’t promise they wouldn’t involve some crying, but you definitely don’t have to do something you feel uncomfortable with. There are many other sleep training methods out there that we mention on our site of ways to be present or help your baby through the process of learning to sleep on her own a little better. Here is a link that goes through a few different methods and you can click around the links and search our site on any that spark your interest as we have more information on the various methods on our blog: https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/5-baby-sleep-training-methods-explained/
      I hope this helps!

      • Anna says

        Hi this schedule doesn’t help because it involves solids and I haven’t started any yet. I’m just breastfeeding 100% of time. Should I start giving her solids first to make sure she gets all the calories?

      • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says

        Hi @Anna – Thanks for writing back! Please feel free to make the recommended schedule your own, and ignore the solid feeding if you are not offering solids yet! You can also follow this schedule, which does not include solid feedings:
        https://www.babysleepsite.com/schedules/5-month-old-baby-schedule/
        If you are unsure when to start solids, please talk to your baby’s doctor, and there are some great tips here too:
        http://www.startbabyonsolids.com/baby-solids-when/when-to-start-baby-on-solids/
        Good luck Anna!

      • Anna says

        My baby started sleeping through the night:-) I used a soft CIO method for only 3 nights. Thanks! I’m just worried if it’s permanent. I read that even the best sleepers can go through sleep issues at some point.

      • Janelle Reid says

        Hi @Anna, that’s great news! Yes all babies can go through different things and struggle with sleep due to teething, illness, sleep regressions, etc. But it’s great you found a method that worked so hopefully if you ever get off track you’ll know just what to do to get back on track!

  6. Monica says

    I’m trying sleep training for the second time. My son is 16 months old. My son wakes up every 1-3 hours all night for snuggles or a bottle of water. I’m at wits end and sometimes I bring him in the bed but my husband would get upset because he couldn’t sleep.The first time I tried cio when he was 12 months old and I didn’t make it because he ended up vomiting on day 2. I’m doing it again at 16 months and I’m on day 1 feeling very discouraged. This is what his night looked like:

    CIO
    Day 1
    In bed 8:30 cried until 9:00 asleep laying down 10
    Asleep 10-11:30
    Cried 11:30-11:50 standing
    11:50 poopy diaper change, laid back in bed night night kiss
    Continued crying 11:50-1:00 standing
    1-1:15 standing in crib not crying
    1:15-1:40 and off crying still standing
    2:00 quietly seeming tired standing up
    2:05 started screaming checked on to make sure no poopy diaper laid him down, he immediately started crying when I left the room
    2:20- still standing fussing/calming down
    2:30- still standing /fussing
    2:40 standing screaming mama dada ?
    3:00 still crying
    3:20 quiet head bobbing
    3:30 loud screaming ??
    3:45 went in laid him down said shhh shh he feel immediately asleep
    3:45-6:15 slept
    6:15 up crying
    6:30 went in and stood by crib not touching him or saying anything it calmed him down but wouldn’t sleep. Any time I’d leave the room he’d scream which seemed pointless to make him cry since he always sleeps 8:30-8
    7:30 gave up picked him up and gave bottle. He feel asleep in my arms. I know I’m not supposed to do this but I felt like once it’s morning it might be ok?
    Any time I tried setting him down he cried. I just felt like he needed a little sleep after only sleeping 4 hours all night. I let him sleep until 9 in my arms.

    I’m hoping things get better after the next few days and I didn’t ruin it by picking him up in the morning. Is it ok if I hold him for his nap just to guarantee he actually sleeps and start the crying again at night?

    • Janelle Reid says

      Hi @Monica, thanks for writing to us. I am so sorry to hear you had such a rough night. You posted a few days ago – how is it going now? I work in our Client Relations Department, so since I am not a Sleep Consultant, I don’t feel qualified to answer your question about if holding him will “ruin it” but I did want to send over a link to a few other sleep training styles you may decide to investigate if you don’t find success soon (or feel like you’re going crazy with all the crying): https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/5-baby-sleep-training-methods-explained/ We have lots of articles on the types so just be sure to click around the links in the article to get more information. Perhaps a gentler method where you ease out may work better for him since he seems soothed by your presence in the room.
      If you want an expert’s advise through this, I would highly recommend working with one of our consultants – they’d be able to answer your specific questions and work through this step by step with you. Here is a link to the services we offer: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/
      I hope you find some resolution soon, whatever it method it comes by! It is a process to remember to take lots of deep breaths, remember teaching your baby to sleep is going to be a wonderful skill he needs for the rest of his life, and you are doing a great job! Hang in there!

  7. Chuck says

    I have not seen any “PhD’s” behind the names of the writer of the article, or any of the answers in the comments. Is this site just the opinions of self-proclaimed baby experts, or people who have done scientific studies?

    • Neosha says

      @Chuck – Thank you for reading and for commenting! You’re right – none of us are PhDs. We’re all moms who’ve been through (and some of us still are in!) the baby and toddler sleep struggle. Over the past 10 years, we’ve been blessed to help thousands of families around the globe find the sleep they so desperately need. We’ve found that baby and toddler sleep is a mix of science (several studies out there we rely heavily on in our work) and an art that we’ve been able to develop through experience and trials. You can read more from our founder, Nicole Johnson, on just this topic, “Are you a doctor? Do you have any type of certification?” here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-helpdesk-faq/ If you find that you need or would like personal or professional support in this area, we’d welcome the opportunity to work with you. Please keep reading, and thank you again for your comment.

  8. Sylvia says

    You know what … I was a child raised from the CIO and … I highly dont recommend. Now as an adult, I’m struggling with night fears and my therapist said it was because of that. I don’tt know if any plan can work in favor of this method. When I got pregnant, I immediately started to learn about children and I was looking for ways to deal with problems that were solved in my childhood by CIO … Through the blog parental-love.com I discovered the HWL method from Susan Urban, which helped me a lot. I got her guide ‘how teach a baby to fall asleep alone’ and thanks to him from the 3rd month after birth my baby girl slept alone in the crib, slept all night and thanks to that had better days and was more active during the day. Today, my little Nadia is a happy and healthy child 🙂 <3

    • Danielle says

      Hi Sylvia,
      Thank you for your comment! I’m very sorry to hear about your negative experience with cry-it-out. We never recommend just one sleep coaching method to all babies – it really depends on the child and the family. All of our approaches should always be child-centered, and we certainly don’t want any child to feel alone and frightened, like it sounds may have happened to you. Many families have had great success with cry-it-out when performed correctly and with the needs of the baby first, and research supports it as an option, again, when done correctly. I’m so glad to hear, though, that you a method that works for your family and your baby, and I wish you all the best!

  9. Christa says

    Hi there,
    I have a question about whether a method we are using to get our child to sleep would be considered ‘crying it out’, and something we should adapt.
    My 3 month old child is not one who generally falls asleep in people’s arms – she seems to actually prefer to be put down in her cot. Sometimes she does cry, and will cry for quite a while before going to sleep though. When I am settling her, I try to rock her and rub my hand on her tummy so she knows I’m there (she has hearing issues so in part I do this rather than a vocal soothe, which I might otherwise do). If she gets very upset, I pick her up to calm her down too. However when my partner puts her to sleep, he will just sit next to her on our bed and rock her while she cries, without that physical touch. He seems to think she would know he was present from the rocking… which makes no sense to me! Does this approach fit the ‘crying it out’ model? If so, would we be better, for her health, to change this?
    Thank you.

    • Janelle Reid says

      Hi @Christa, thank you for writing to us! There are many approaches to sleep training and the typical impression of “cry it out” is usually leaving the baby in their sleep space (crib, cot, etc) with no intervention. This is why many people do not want to do any type of crying because it feels like abandonment to the child. However, there are lots of gentler methods like you seem to have found where baby is crying, but you are working to soothe the baby and as she gets better you can back off the methods so she can begin to learn to put herself to sleep. At 3 months, I’d do whatever you need to do. 😉 She is still developing those skills to self soothe and they may not be fully there yet so I’m sure she appreciates your help. Here is a link to a free guide for new parents with some tips for healthy sleep: https://www.babysleepsite.com/15-free-baby-sleep-facts-new-parents-must-know/
      My main piece of advise would be to give your daughter consistency, as babies do love routine. It is natural for some things to be different from caregiver to caregiver, but generally I think they can make more sense of things if it’s relatively the same. 🙂 If you want more help with specific advise let us know! We’d love to work with you and answer all your sleep related questions. For more information on how to work one-on-one with us, please visit here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/
      Hope this helps!

  10. Snaj says

    hey wanted to ask will it work for my 5 month old

    • Janelle Reid says

      @Snaj, Thank you for writing to us! The 4-6 month range is a common age to begin sleep training, yes! Here is another link if you would like to look through some other sleep training methods to decide which approach you like best: https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/sleep-training-from-no-cry-to-cry-series-part-1/
      Thanks for using the Baby Sleep Site as a resource for sleep!

      • Jalpa Bhavin Patel says

        Help please!! I have 8 and half month baby girl who wakes up whole night approximately more than ten times every few minuets she is awake. The only thing to put her back to sleep is breastfeeding. Eventually I’m awake whole night feeding her. I have also tried CIO for two days first day for 20 minuets and 2nd day 10 minuets I cannot keep her crying so I grab her so it doesn’t work for me. She don’t love much solids but I try to feed her purée during day as that’s the only texture she would eat.
        Is there any other advice for me?

      • Janelle Reid says

        @Jalpa Bhavin Patel – Thanks for writing to us, I am so sorry you are struggling!! If you haven’t yet, I think you would find our free ebook on how to help your child learn to sleep through the night super helpful. You can sign up to receive the guide here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-through-night-free-ebook/
        If this problem persists, I think you would benefit from working one-on-one with one of our sleep consultants and they could create a plan that would work for your family – and that you felt comfortable implementing! Hearing your child cry can be really challenging, so thankfully our consultants have other options beyond CIO to help you teach your baby to fall asleep on their own. If you are interested, please contact us directly here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/contact
        I hope this helps!