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Do you want more sleep?   Yes! I need more sleep.

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  1. Candice says:

    Hello! I have an 8.5 month old that won’t fall asleep on her own and needs help to fall back asleep overnight. Am hoping to start sleep training this weekend. My question is: if she sits up or stands up during one of the intervals do we leave her until the timed interval is up? Or should I be going in to lay her back down?

    Thank you!!

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says:

      Hi @Candice –
      Thanks for writing to us! I hope sleep training goes very smoothly when you start this weekend! it’s great that you are thinking and planning ahead! You can try either way! YOu may not want to lay her back down every 30 seconds, so might want to put a limit on how often you will go in! Many parents will wait for the timed interval to go in and lay baby back down, while others will go in before this. Find what works for you, and what helps your baby stay the calmest! If you need any help coming up with a solid plan to follow, please contact us for more info! Good luck!

      • Maryam says:

        Hi @ Candice,
        Please pardon me for adding my question to your post.
        My baby is exactly 8.5 months old and we started sleep training last night. It wasn’t fun as you could imagine and yes he stood up right after we left the room and cried the whole 10 minutes until we got back and laid him back down.

        My question is that what if my baby cannot lay down by himself? My son started standing up recently and seems to be pretty excited about it. I never saw him sit from standing position unless he fells. I am wondering if he can do it deliberately or not. Last night it took him 1 hour at the beginning of the night and 1 hour early morning and both times he fell back sleep when we stayed in the room for 3-4 minutes and rubbed his back. Is this the right approach or we should have left the room more quickly no matter what.

      • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says:

        Hi @Maryam –
        Thank you for writing to us about your baby! YOu mentioned the first night of sleep training being pretty tough, and I am sorry to hear that. I hope that things are getting better!! It is very common for little ones to need some help getting back to laying down after standing! You can always help him practice sitting back down from a standing position during awake time so he’ll master that skill! Every baby is different, so if you need to stay and help him, and that helps him and you, that is fine! If you’d ever like more help with this, please contact us for more info! Thanks Maryam!

  2. Erin says:

    We started the Ferber Method last night and we are also implementin it during daytime naps. She has only been taking 30 minute naps since two months old, and getting 11-12 hours at night with two wake ups. She is now 8 months old and her lack of sleep was wearing one her and me. Everything was okay until we began to transition from 3-2 naps and I fear some seperation anxiety. The issue we are having is,when we go in to consol during our time intervals, we do not pick up but rub and stroke and sing for a minute or two and leave. She still cries hysterically without letting up. Should we be picking be her up, or is this normal? The reason we needed to sleep train was because of a strong rocking and bouncing to sleep sleep crutch. I just don’t want to harm her or damage her (nervous first time mama). Please help!

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says:

      Hi @Erin – Thanks for writing and sorry to hear that your sleep training is not going smoothly!! We know how nerve-wracking this is – especially for first time parents who haven’t “been there” before! Some families find that picking up baby helps calm them a little, while others find it makes them more upset. You may want to give her a for a week of what you are doing, and you might choose to try changing things up and compare, and see how she responds best! Good luck Erin, and please contact us if you need any further assistance! We have tons of resources available and are here to help!

  3. Katie Burt says:

    Hi, I have a 3 month old who will not sleep unless held. Wanting to try this method to encourage her to sleep independently in her crib. We have tried everything else to get her to sleep not being held with no success.
    Thanks,
    Katie

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says:

      Hi @ Katie – Thanks for reading and for taking a minute to write! We hope that things go well! Good luck!

      • MammaDee says:

        Our son is 19 months old (16 months adjusted), and we made the mistake of bringing him to bed with us during his 9-month regression. We have now been sleep training him for the last 7 days to get him back into his crib. We’ve seen good progress with bed time (he is usually asleep in less than 15 minutes), but he wakes up in the middle of the night wanting juice and to be picked up. We live in an apartment, so crying it out at 1:30 or 3:30 in the morning is not an option. We start his bedtime routine between 7:00 and 7:30, and he takes 1 long nap between 1:00 and 2:00. He does not nap in his crib but tends to go down without much assistance. Any recommendations for minimizing the mid-night waking/crying?

      • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says:

        Hi @MammaDee!
        Thanks for writing to us! Sorry to hear that you’re struggling with night wakings, but it sounds like you’ve made great progress on bedtime, and that naps are going well too! Keep it up Mamma!! Keep reaching for your sleep goals, and perhaps you can switch to a gentler sleep coaching method for those lingering night wakings to keep the crying to a minimum? Here’s a link to an article that can help:
        https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/5-baby-sleep-training-methods-explained/
        If you need specific help with a schedule and plan for night sleep, please contact us for more info on our offerings! Good luck and thanks again for writing!

  4. Lisa Barfield says:

    Please help!! I used the Ferber method with my boys who are now 15 and 21 years old. I am babysitting my great niece every day. She is almost 9 months and has slept through the night since about 6 weeks old. The problem is regarding her naps. The room is dark just like her room at home and she has a sound machine for white noise on. She usually falls asleep while taking her bottle and then goes right down for her nap. But she will only sleep for about 20 to 30 minutes. I usually go in and tap her back for just a minute and she falls back asleep. But now she starting to not want to fall back asleep. And of course she is sleepy and cranky when I pick her up. If I rock her she will go back to sleep, but will wake up as soon as I try to put her back down. She will easily sleep two hours if I rock her the whole time. This morning, I let her cry it out when she woke up, and she only cried for about eight minutes, with a at five-minutes check in. Should I let her cry it out again if she wakes up 20 minutes later? I’ve got to get her on a better schedule, for both of our sanity’s sake!

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says:

      Hi @Lisa – Thanks for writing to us about your great niece! How great that you get to spend time with her every day! It sounds like you’ve got a good plan to help her with her short naps, and this article may also give some helpful tips:
      https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-naps-2/short-baby-naps-explained/
      She fell back to sleep pretty quickly that first try, so hopefully things continues to go well and she did not wake again after 20 minutes?! She sounded tired and ready to fall back to sleep. In those cases, yes, give her a chance to fall back to sleep on her own. Hope things are going well Lisa!

  5. Kate says:

    Hello! We have a 7.5 month old and are in serious need of a little assistance. We have tried the ferber method in the past and it was working, and then it stopped working so we stopped using it. However now he’s regressed even more and wakes up about every hour. He was needing to “eat” at all hours of the night but ended up just suckling-not eating- so we gave him a pacifier. Now I fear we made things worse for everyone because if the pacifier falls out of his mouth, he instantly wakes up. Please HELP! We have a nighttime routine and he sleeps fine during the day. At night is a whole other problem.

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says:

      Hi @Kate – Thanks for writing! I am so sorry to hear that your little guy is waking every hour! That is SO tough! Yes, you may have replaced the feed to sleep association with the pacifier, and if he needs that replaced every hour, you may want to now work on that! We have some free articles on our blog about pacifiers, if you use the search bar at the top right you can search for those, and these may help determine if it is time to wean the pacifier at night and how to do it! For more help, I would really recommend working one on one with one of our expert sleep consultants, so that she can help and make a complete plan for you to follow. You can read about all of our sleep consultation packages and purchase directly online here:
      https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services
      Please let us know if you have any questions! Hang in there Kate!!

  6. Lauren Young says:

    Hi,

    Desperate for help. My 7 month old does not know how to fall asleep without being breastfed, rocked, or with pacifier. His naps are inconsistent and far from predictable. At night he wakes every 30 min to every 90 min. I try not to nurse unless it’s been 3-4 hrs since the last feeding. But often, I’m so wiped I end up nursing. He’s not interested in solids so it’s mostly milk right now. I feel like he’s been teething for months, plus I think there may be seperation anxiety mixed in. I just don’t know what to do or where to start. Any advice?

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says:

      Hi @Lauren – Thank you for writing us. I’m sorry to hear your family is having sleep problems and your son is struggling with sleep! Waking every 30-90 minutes is SO brutal! Hang in there Lauren. You’re not alone and we would love to help!
      We welcome you to continue to peruse our blog with over 300 articles or, if you prefer to bypass some of that, we have e-Books and premium resources available where the research has been done for you. Or, for the fastest service, and the most support, we have expert sleep consultants who can help you every step of the way! I do believe you could benefit from one of our Personalized Sleep Consultation packages. In our consultations, we will work with you on a detailed plan to which you can commit and feel good about, a plan that will cover all of your issues and help you reach all of your goals. All of our email consultation packages for new clients include a Personalized Sleep Plan, which is a detailed guide written just for your family given your specific sleep history.
      You can read about all of our sleep consultation packages here:
      https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services
      Please let us know if you need any assistance, and hang in there!!

  7. Mary says:

    Hi, so we’re using gradual extinction for my 11 month old. He started sleeping longer stretches almost immediately, but just screams like anything till he falls asleep. He has had a couple of days where he cried (with checks) for an hour or so, which just seems crazy to me. (At other times he has fallen asleep in less than 10 min.) At this point though he takes longer to fall asleep if I am holding or patting him, because hes constantly opening his eyes to make sure I’m still there. Could letting him cry so much just be making him more anxious about sleep? Or will the screaming pass eventually? We’ve been doing this for about a week and I’m just worried about how the crying will affect him.

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says:

      Hi @Mary –
      Thanks for writing to us, about your 11 month old! It sounds like you are making progress, and we certainly hope for more and more days where he falls asleep in less than 10 minutes! It is typical to have ups and downs from day to day, and it can take time to find the “sweet spot” for sleep too, when he is just tired enough. Separation anxiety and sleep are a tough mix, as you’ve read in this blog article, but keep it up! He may just need a little more time, but of course, without a sleep consultant taking an in depth and holistic look at all things sleep, it is hard to say when things will smooth out. Our general rule of thumb is to stick to a plan for 2 weeks, before re-evaluating, so you may want to give it a bit more time. : )
      I do hope things smooth out quickly! Please let us know if you would like more assistance at any time!

  8. nikki says:

    Hello,

    Have a one year old (13 months) who has been sleeping pretty well until recently. She seems to have hit a wall and I’m reaching my breaking point- may have already. We have tried timed checks for the past 5 nights and it seems to have only gotten worse. I actually slept in the floor from 4-6am today just so that her (and I could get a bit of sleep). She is in daycare and usually takes 1 nap a day there anywhere from 1-2.5 hours. We begin bedtime routine at 7:00 bath, lotion, bottle, rock, bed. she is usually put down by 7:45/8:00. She is standing up screaming everytime we put her down, and lately has been pooping immediately at the start of putting her down. I don’t know what to do- please help!

    • Janelle Reid says:

      Hi @Nikki, I am so sorry to hear you are struggling with your daughter’s sleep and that you are all suffering from it! Here is a link to a free guide with tips to help your child sleep through the night, so I’d recommend you download it and see if it has any helpful information you haven’t considered yet: https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-through-night-free-ebook/
      I know you are beyond exhausted so what I think would give you the most support and take out all the guesswork on your part would be to consider working one-on-one with one of our sleep consultants. You can read more about the options here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/
      When you work with our sleep consulting team in our personalized packages, they will craft a plan specifically for your baby and will take into account the daycare schedule as well. If you have any questions about how it works or which package would be the best fit for your situation, please email us at contact@babysleepsite.com
      Hang in there!

  9. Nikolle says:

    Hello! My little one is now 3 months old and I think she is entering into the 4 month sleep regression early. A week ago she was sleeping soundly through the night (I have been trying not to nurse, rock and sway her to sleep prior to putting her in her bassinet but sometimes she would fall asleep before I could transition her). Usually she would wake up once to feed anywhere between 3- 5am when she was sleeping well. Now and over the last week she has been waking up around 2am and stays up for anywhere from 2 to 4 hours. A few times she has been up before the dreaded 2-4 hour wake stretch but would settle if I put the soother in her mouth. She has also done this a few times after the dreaded 2-4 wake up time and take the soother but it varies. Is this her entering into the first sleep regression or something else? She has been sleeping really well for many months with a rare episode of her not being able to sleep well around the 6 week mark. She is not overly fussy during the day (no more than usual) but she is only napping in 30-60 minute stints. Usually she gets around 3 hours worth of naps a day. Please help!

    • Danielle says:

      Hi Nikolle,
      Thank you for checking out The Baby Sleep Site! I’m sorry your good sleeper has been having such a bump. I’m not a sleep consultant, but are you feeding your daughter when she wakes up at 2? Sometimes babies start to need one more night feeding around 3 months, as they become more active. Most 3 month-olds eat one to three times overnight. You can see our sample 3 month-old schedule for more details: https://www.babysleepsite.com/schedules/3-month-old-baby-sleep-and-feeding-schedule/
      If you try feeding her and she goes back to sleep easily, that was probably the issue. If you try feeding her and she’s still up, then it’s more likely a true sleep concern. I hope this helps!

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