What Is Gentle Sleep Training? 5 Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep

We talk a lot about sleep training on this blog (A LOT)! Over the years, we have learned something important. While many parents want better sleep, most are especially interested in gentle sleep training.

Gentle sleep training is an approach that helps babies learn healthy sleep habits with minimal crying and plenty of parental support. And honestly, that makes sense. No parent is eager to hear their baby cry, and if there is a way to encourage better sleep in a calm, responsive, and loving way, many families would much prefer that over traditional cry it out methods.

That said, gentle sleep training can feel confusing. Unlike more rigid approaches, it is not just one method. It is a range of strategies that offer different levels of support and independence. In this article, we will break down what gentle sleep training really is, how it works, and five gentle ways you can help your baby sleep better.

What Is “Gentle” Exactly, and What’s Not?

First, when we talk about gentle sleep training, it’s important to address what “gentle” includes, and what it doesn’t. The good news here is that “gentle” can mean basically whatever you want it to mean. It’s a very subjective sort of word when applied to sleep training! Some parents view gentle sleep training as sleep training that involves almost zero tears. Other parents consider Ferberizing (check and console) methods gentle because they allow for periodic comforting. So be aware that the spectrum of gentle sleep training is large and will vary from one family to the next.

In general, though, we’ve learned that many families consider gentle sleep training methods to be those that involve minimal tears and allow for mom and dad to remain in the room during sleep training, very close to baby’s sleeping area. Additionally, some co-sleeping families want gentle methods that allow for continued bed-sharing. So, for the purposes of this article, we’ll call gentle sleep training an approach that minimizes crying and allows for lots of parental involvement and closeness.

Is Gentle Sleep Training Really Sleep Training?

Yes indeed! While some families consider the term “sleep training” synonymous with “leave your baby in a room alone to cry all night long”, that’s not true at all. Simply put, sleep training – also known as sleep coaching – is the process of weaning your child away from sleep associations, and helping her learn how to fall asleep without help. A child who can fall asleep independently is a child who can fall BACK to sleep when she wakes between sleep cycles at night, or during a nap, and who sleeps through the night and takes long, consistent, restorative naps.

The good news about sleep training is that HOW you help your child learn to fall asleep independently is up to you. There are so many ways to approach this process. Many of them can be customized and tailored to be incredibly gentle.

5 Ways To Gently Sleep Train Your Baby

In truth, you can make most sleep coaching methods gentle (or at least gentler). That said, there are some sleep training methods and approaches that produce results without much (if any) fussing. Here’s a quick look at 5 ways you can gently help your child learn to sleep better:

1. Make schedule and feeding changes

It might seem strange to start here but believe me. Making a few careful adjustments to your baby or toddler’s sleep and feeding schedule can sometimes make a huge difference in sleep. Schedule and feeding changes can be a gentle and non-invasive way to make great progress. If your child is waking too early, for instance, you may need to adjust bedtime. Naptime drama may indicate that your child is ready for a nap transition. Night waking may point to a need for more daytime feedings. However you shift your child’s schedule, remember that a few schedule changes can greatly improve your child’s overall sleep.

2. Create or strengthen your bedtime and nap time routines

One of the easiest and gentlest ways to help your child sleep is to create a strong pre-sleep routine. Both your bedtime routine and your nap time routines should help to relax and calm your child. This signals that it’s time to fall asleep. There are no hard-and-fast rules as to what makes a great bedtime or nap time routine. As a general rule, keep routines short for young babies and longer for toddlers and preschoolers. Lastly, be sure that you have a definitive ending to your routine.

3. Substitute one sleep association for another

This might seem strange, but it’s true. Substituting your child’s preferred sleep association for another can actually help sleep. Here’s how it works: you start by swapping in a different sleep association at bedtime and nap time. For instance, if your child prefers to be nursed to sleep, you may choose to swap in rocking to sleep. You work on that until your child falls asleep when rocked. Then, at that point, you gradually wean away from rocking. The idea here is that it’s easier (and gentler) to wean away from a weaker, less habitual sleep association (in this case, rocking) than it is from a stronger, more preferred sleep association (in this case, nursing).

4. Fade out sleep associations gradually

Fading requires a lot of patience, but it is a great way to gently sleep train. Fading sleep training works just the way it sounds. You simply fade out your child’s sleep association gradually, and by degrees, until your child can fall asleep without it. If you nurse to sleep, for instance, you would gradually work towards getting to the point where you nurse until your child is drowsy, but not fully asleep. Or if you are “fading out” rocking, you work to get to the point where your child falls asleep in your arms, but without the rocking movement.

5. Try the pick-up-put-down method

Once you are actually ready to have your child work on falling asleep independently in his sleep space, you can use the PUPD method. Simply put, PUPD means you lay your child down awake in his sleeping area. Then pick him up and offer comfort when he fusses. You repeat this process until your child eventually falls asleep. This is a gentle method because it allows constant soothing and minimizes fussing.

Does Gentle Sleep Training Actually Work?

Gentle sleep training can absolutely be effective. Be advised, however, that gentle methods require lots of patience. They can take a while to actually produce meaningful results. Gentler methods may take weeks before you see signs of improvement, but the process is often more enjoyable for everyone! Provided you are committed to your sleep training plan and are willing to put in the time and energy needed to reach your goals, gentle sleep training can be an effective and low-fuss way to finally get your baby or toddler sleeping through the night.

Frequently Asked Questions About Gentle Sleep Training

For more information designed to help you sleep train gently AND effectively, check out these VIP Members Area resources:

• No-Cry and Limited-Cry Sleep Coaching Techniques audio course with Nicole
• Sleep Training and Co-Sleeping Strategies
• No-Cry Method Case Study
• Sleep Plan Workbook (use this to create your gentle sleep training plan)
• The 3-Step System To Help Your Baby Sleep e-Book (with gentle sleep training laid out from start to finish)

We’re Here to Help You With Gentle Sleep Training!