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Do you want more sleep?   Yes! I need more sleep.

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  1. Cassidy Q says:

    My daughter is 4 months and 2 weeks old. When she was little little she slept SO good for a few weeks. Now I can get my daughter to go to down for bed while nursing, bedtime starting at 7:30, in her crib by 8:30-9pm but then she wakes up an hour (sometimes but rarely 2 hours) later. I try nursing her back to sleep every time she wakes up but she just will not stay down. After that she wakes up every 10 minutes for the rest of the night unless I put her in bed with me and hubby and my boobs constantly in her mouth. My body HURTS from being stuck in one position all night and I haven’t slept in weeks. I’m at a loss here i dont know what to do anymore. I don’t want her sleeping in bed with us because it scares the heck out of me but if i don’t she just will not stay asleep in her crib. Please help me I’m literally starting to go insane and I love my baby very very very much but I feel terrible because I start resenting her at night and I loathe when bed times approaching. I also can’t nap when she naps because she only naps 3-4 times a day for 10-20 minutes at a time (not enough fine for me to actually fall asleep, takes me a while when I try)

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says:

      Hi @Cassidy – Thank you for writing to us and for using The Baby Sleep Site as a resource for sleep! I’m sorry to hear that sleep has SO been rough for your daughter lately. You’re not alone! We understand how tough this is!
      This age can be a difficult one for many babies, since their sleep is permanently changing from a “newborn’s” sleep, and this often leads to more frequent wake ups at night and disrupted naps.
      Since you’re feeling SO overwhelmed please consider one of our Personalized Sleep Consultation packages so that you can start getting some help and get on track right away! If you choose to purchase a consultation package, one of our trained expert sleep consultants will craft a Personalized Sleep Plan for you and your daughter, based on both your unique family history and on our own 10+ years of experience working with tens of thousands of parents from around the world. Then, your consultant will help you implement the plan via phone and/or email, and will answer any follow-up questions you may have. The consultant will also make changes to the plan as necessary. You can read about all of our sleep consultation packages and purchase directly online here:
      https://www.babysleepsite.com/services
      Hang in there Cassidy, and please let us know if we can be of any further support at any time!

  2. Casey says:

    Hello,

    I don’t understand your claim that newborns/babies up until this point don’t have different sleep cycles and that they only have deep sleep. My baby is almost 3 months and we’ve observed for many, many weeks two different types of sleep. I have a book in French by two doctors who describe in detail these which they call “sommeil agité” (agited sleep) and “sommeil calm” (calm sleep). My baby has definitely not only had deep sleep–he has always had a phase that involved movement, noises, facial expressions, etc. contrary to his calm sleep. Also, I have the book Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker and he clearly discusses the importance of REM sleep in the newborn. So it’s not all deep sleep. I have read that their cycles indeed change to imitate ours, however.

    • Casey says:

      I meant to say sleep phases, not cycles.

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says:

      Hi @Casey – Thanks for writing and for sharing your resources with us! The “Why We Sleep” book is on my “read this” list, but I haven’t gotten there quite yet! Sleep changes a lot in these first few months of life, which is what we’re talking about in this article. We’ve gained a lot of the “on the job” experience in working with tens of thousands of families that struggle with the same sleep patterns/regressions, additionally the information in this article is from Dr. Richard Ferber. I;m happy to share a bit here. On pages 15-16 in “Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems” by Dr. Ferber, he writes… “After the first few months of life, non-REM sleep divides further into four distinct stages.” In addition, on page 22, he goes on to say “During the first month of life, the non-REM brain waves become continuous and startles disappear. By the time a baby is a month old, sleep spindles begin to appear and over the next month or two we can begin to separate non-REM sleep into lighter and deeper stages. K-complex waves, characteristic of mature non-REM sleep, do not appear until a baby is about six months old, although precursors appear earlier.” This development of sleep over the newborn to 6-month period is when we start to see impacts of the “4-month-sleep regression” which usually starts anywhere from 3 to 5 months old. There is lots more info in the book if you’re interested. It can be purchased here: https://amzn.to/2PMSsQx
      I hope that this helps, and thanks again for writing and sharing!!

      • Cathryn says:

        Thank you for the helpful article! My 11 week old started sleeping poorly around 7 weeks – catnapping (20-40 mins) and sometimes waking up 3 times per night instead of 1-2. He is finally SLOWLY adapting and napping for longer stretches, Hooray! I’m a bit confused though about whether this was an early 4 month sleep regression as you mentioned it can start as early as 8 weeks, or if this is something else and I still have the 4 month regression to look forward to. I have noticed some sources say there is a 6 week regression that can last 2-6 weeks but the info available is all a bit inconsistent. I am very hopeful my husband and I will get a long break of good sleep after this, rather than only about a month or less before the 4 month regression starts! What is likely to be the case?

      • Neosha says:

        @Cathryn – Thank you for your reply! Many babies hit a pretty major growth spurt around 6 weeks old which (unfortunately) disrupts sleep and leads to more night wakings and feedings to keep up with the growth. This could have been what you’ve seen as we generally don’t see a 4 month regression before 8 weeks of age. We’re keeping our fingers crossed that you don’t hit a major regression in a few weeks but, if you do, we’re here to help! Hang in there, Cathryn!

      • Casey says:

        Hello,

        Thank you for the reply, though–I’m sorry to be frank–it’s not really on the point I was trying to get across.

        I’m trying to tell you that your article contains blatantly false or misleading information about newborn sleep. It states:

        “[B]abies don’t have distinct sleep stages like we adults do. While we cycle between deep and light sleep, our babies don’t – they sleep deeply pretty much all the time… [Already this sounds very unscientific, lacking precision–“pretty much all the time”? What does even mean? Once in a blue moon they don’t sleep deeply? There is a design to the universe; it’s not run by chance.]

        As your baby’s brain matures, around the 4 month mark, her sleeping patterns change – they become more like yours. Now, she is cycling between light and deep sleep – just like you.”

        Babies have from birth two sleep phases. Normally, they do not go straight into deep sleep. They go into REM sleep. This is characterized by fluttering eyes, irregular breathing, some movement, and even a couple funny hiccup noises.

        Then they go into deep sleep which lasts 20 minutes. An extremely sleep deprived or stressed baby will go straight into deep sleep from exhaustion.

        I carried my son for about half of his naps from 7 weeks to 3.5 months old. He was certainly not in a deep sleep all the time. His deep sleep was characterized by regular, quiet breathing, and he made sucking movements every minute or so.

        After the “four month sleep regression” babies indeed develop sleep cycles like adults, which have more than two phases. However, as I’ve said, they already had light and deep sleep.

        Please correct this information. It is a rather shocking error coming from a baby sleep website. You can read about newborn REM (or active) sleep on tons of websites. People even post YouTube videos of it.

      • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says:

        Hi @Casey –
        Thank you for your feedback! I’ve passed this along to Nicole Johnson – our founder and lead sleep consultant – for a content review that we do periodically. We encourage our readers to seek out medical professionals for any scientific questions they may have about their baby’s sleep. We are not medical professionals and focus most on babies’ behavioral sleep problems. Thanks again for taking the time to write to us. : )

  3. Sara says:

    My daughter is 4 months and 1 week old, and up until a few days ago, when she started showing sleepy cues (for naps and bedtime) she would fall asleep easily. Now when she shows cues she refuses to sleep. We have a routine that we do before naps and bedtime and nothing is making her drowsy or sleepy. I took your regression quiz and it seems like this is what she’s going through, but I’m not sure what to do if she won’t sleep at all. She won’t even get sleepy during nursing! Will this pass? Should I let her skip her naps? I’m worried it will affect her nighttime sleep.

    • Janelle Reid says:

      @Sara – thank you for writing to us. I’m so sorry to hear that your daughter is fighting you so hard through this 4 month sleep regression. Hang in there, and hopefully things will pass soon. I would strongly recommend to do your best (you don’t have the ultimate control of course) to not let her sleep naps. This would result in her getting over tired and then fighting you even more. Here is a link to a free guide with tips to help you with naps (I found when my boys hit this age they suddenly got really distracted and I had to change a few things in their room and routine to make it more suitable to sleep): https://www.babysleepsite.com/free-baby-nap-guide/
      Hopefully she will begin to self settle again and things will get back to normal. If she was falling asleep independently before, you may just have a couple rough weeks before she catches on to all the changes that she’s going through. If you need more help, let us know and hang in there!

  4. Didem says:

    Hi, my babys is almost 4 months now and she was a great sleeper. I trained her without crying. But then because od regresion she couldnt go to sleep easly. At first ? stayed with her and kind a help her with closing her eyes but then she wanted to sleep while breat feeding. I never let her fully sleep while feeding but now she is crying screaming day and night to sleep while feeding. I start training again but its really hard cause ? dont want her to cry. What should ? do? Should ? help her or push her? And how will ? know regresion is ending?

    Thank u,

    Didem

    • Neosha says:

      @Didem – Thank you for reading and for sharing with us. This regression can be so hard, we know. You’re not alone during this confusing time – we’re right there with you! Balancing giving your baby what she needs during this regression along with not developing any long-term “bad” habits is definitely more of an art than a science – there’s no exact right or wrong answer. We strongly encourage that you do what you can to give your little girl the comfort she needs while working to keep her sleep healthy and whole – as close to how she used to fall asleep as possible. This particular regression doesn’t “end” so much as you move past it and teach your little girl a new way to sleep going forward. Please consider one of our sleep consultants if you find you’d like more support during this time. You can read more about our lovely ladies here:https://www.babysleepsite.com/about Hang in there, Didem!

  5. Isobel says:

    Hello.

    I have a baby who is almost 4 months, I’m not sure if he’s already been through a sleep regression but his pattern has changed over the last few weeks. He is also quite a big baby – 17 pounds, 98 percentile length and 75 weight. I’m not sure if this is relevant? He used to be fed to sleep (around 7-8 of formula) at 6pm then wake around midnight, 3 and 7am. We struggle to keep him up past 6pm and recently it’s been tricky keeping him awake at 530 – as a result he has become more distressed at bedtime and is still awake for 20 mins or so crying after his feed. He does then go down and we dream feed him around 10:30 but he then wakes around 2:30-3am and I feed him 4 ounces of his first morning 8 ounce feed. He then wakes at 5am but won’t settle but isn’t hungry, comes in with me until around 6am when I feed him his second 4 ounce bottle then goes to sleep for an hour or so. Is there anything we can do to stop his 5am and even 3am feed – he sometimes takes the 3am but often doesn’t take it all.

    Thanks, Isobel.

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says:

      Hi @Isobel – Thank you for writing to us. I am sorry to hear that your little one’s slep has regressed/changed, but you are not alone! We’d love to help!! For info regarding night feeds, This is a great article on our blog, along with a helpful video:
      https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/baby-night-feedings-when-necessary/
      He may need some more help with learning how to fall to sleep on his own and back to sleep too! If you would like additional assistance with this, I do believe you will benefit from one of our Sleep Consultation packages, where we will work with you on a detailed plan you can commit to and feel good about.
      You can read about all of our sleep consultation packages and purchase directly online here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/services
      I hope that things smooth out soon Isobel! Please feel free to contact us if you need more help!

  6. Tamara Estes says:

    My baby will be 4 months old on Feb 26th but two weeks ago today she started the 4 month regression. She was sleeping 7-8 hours through the night from 6 weeks old. I have a routine of feeding her around 11:15 and she falls asleep while eating and I put her in bed asleep at 11:30 (she sleeps in a co-sleeping bed with my husband and I). Now instead of sleeping 7-8 hours she wakes up around 2 and then again at 5. I change her and feed her and she goes right back to sleep but it’s still broken sleep for me which leaves me pretty tired. I would say that the thing that she depends on right now for comfort to fall and stay asleep is just my presence. I’ll rest my hand on her chest if she’s a little restless and that usually soothes her to sleep. So, in our case is that what I need to wean her off of? Get her in her own crib and not need to put my hand on her chest for her to fall asleep? If so, how should I go about doing that? I should also mention that she has pretty much weaned herself off a pacifier and her naps are all over the place. One day she will take only a few naps and they will all be like a half hour and then we’ll have days like today where she only had two naps but one was and hour and the other one was two and a half hours.

    • Janelle Reid says:

      Hi @Tamara Estes, thanks for writing to us. I’m sorry you are in the midst of experiencing the 4 month sleep regression! It is a challenge but it’s also an important one and the opportunity for you to help teach your daughter to go to sleep on her own without your help. Here is a link to a free guide that will give you some tips to help your daughter sleep through the night and wean from those sleep associations (if she is being fed all the way to sleep that is a big one for some babies): https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-through-night-free-ebook/
      I will mention that at this age a few wake ups are still ok, the big indicator of the regression/waking out of sleep association is if she starts waking every 1.5-2 hours, between her sleep cycles and needing the feeding/patting/rocking/etc to go back to sleep. If she’s waking after a longer stretch that may just because she needs the calories at that time. I hope that helps! If you need more information let us know! Feel free to contact us directly anytime at contact@babysleepsite.com

  7. Amanda Hall says:

    What if your baby is already falling asleep independently with no sleep associations and still wakes every 1-2 hours at night needing help to fall back asleep? We have a solid bedtime routine: nurse, bath, pjs, book, lay down fully awake, and he puts himself to sleep, no fussing in less than 5 minutes. But he’s 4 months old now and he’s started waking every 1-2 hours and can’t settle himself. I have to nurse or hold him until he falls back asleep and he usually wakes up as soon as I try to transfer him back to his crib. Then he fusses a little more but falls asleep for another hour or so. I would welcome any advice, I’m exhausted and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says:

      Hi @Amanda – Thank you for writing! I am sorry that you guys are struggling with the night wakings! Every 1-2 hours is brutal! You are not alone, and it is quite common for a baby to be completely able to put themselves to sleep for bedtime, but then struggle and need help through the night, especially younger babies! You are not doing anything wrong, and are on a good trajectory because he already CAN fall asleep at bedtime! It sounds like he needs a bit more help with those night wakings, and you can teach him that he can fall back to sleep in the night too!
      If you would like help creating a plan for those night wakings, and support along the way, you can read about all of our sleep consultation packages and purchase directly online here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/services
      Hang in there Amanda, and let us know if you have any questions!

  8. Meyassara says:

    Hello
    I have a 2.5 months old baby girl
    She has a very missed up sleep schedule
    She doesnt fall a sleep before12 a.m she wakes up multiple times during the night for feed plus sometimes she just stay awake for 2 hours crying
    She wakes up between 2 and 4 p.m
    Takes only one nap between 5 and 7 p.m for 30 min. To 2 hours
    And she struggles to fall a sleep
    We swaddle her, use a pacifier and i feed her to sleep but a lot of times non of these methods work

    Please help!

    • Debbye @ The Baby Sleep Site says:

      Hi @Meyassara – Thanks for writing and so sorry to hear that your daughter’s sleep schedule is so mixed up right now! It is never too soon to start teaching good sleep habits! If you haven’t yet, you can sign up to receive our free guide written just for families with young babies, “15 Baby Sleep Facts New Parents Need to Know” here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/15-free-baby-sleep-facts-new-parents-must-know
      Sleep can be tough at this age, and you may also want to work on slowly changing her schedule to reach one that will work better for her and for you!
      Here is a link to our free sample schedules to make your own:
      https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-feeding-schedules/
      We definitely know how exhausting this can be, and please contact us if you find that you would like more help!

  9. Christine H. says:

    My daughter is just about to turn 5 months old. She started sleeping through the night around 2 months on her own. Right around the 4 month mark she started waking frequently at night, but just needed us to give her the pacifier and she would go right back to sleep. Then at about 4.5 months she got sick, and ever since, she now is waking every night a few times just needing the pacifier but also at 1AM and 4AM and will not go back to sleep withought being held/rocked (1AM) and nursed (4AM). We try to have her nap every 2 hours during the day and she will usually nap for at least an hour. She goes to bed between 7-8PM and after a quick bedtime routine of diaper change, get her in her sleep sack, read a book or 2, rock and sing a song for a minute she gets put into her crib sleepy but awake with her pacifier and she goes to sleep on her own. Is the pacifier a sleep association we should be trying to minimize? I can handle the wakeuos where she just needs us to give her the pacifier and she goes tight back to sleep (though it would be nice to not have to do this!) but the 1AM and 4AM wakeups needing rocking nursing are exhausting! What should we do?!

    • Janelle Reid says:

      Hi @Christine H. Thanks for writing to us. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been struggling recently with multiple wake ups from your daughter. I know how hard that can be! The paci can be a sleep association, yes, but it’s up to you to decide if it’s bad or not, and since at this point you don’t mind replacing it, it sounds like it’s not an issue for you. (I also hope that doesn’t sound like I’m anti-paci either, I’m not! As a mother with a finger sucker, I sure wish my baby was addicted to a paci because I could take that away now that he’s 2!) As she gets older she’ll be able to replace it easier should you decide to stick with it. But here is a link to a free guide with tips on how to get your baby sleeping through the night (or only waking up an appropriate amount of times which at 5 months some babies need 1-2 feedings at night): https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-through-night-free-ebook/
      If you decide to ditch the paci, you can use the tips in there about sleep associations as well to break her of that habit.
      I hope this helps! If you need more support, let us know! We have a ton of other resources we’d be happy to send your way that could help.

  10. Melissa says:

    Both my kids are struggling with sleep now. My 4 months old will not stay asleep and has spent a whole 24 hours up with two 30-45mins naps. So of course my usually happy baby is completely fussy and wants to be held all the time. Something that is simply imoossible.
    My 2 year old sleeps during the dag and stays up at night. Her circadian rhythm is completely reversed…

    We are exhausted. Please Help.

    • Neosha says:

      @Melissa – Thank you for sharing with us – we’re so sorry to hear that your family is not sleeping well with 2 little ones having a tough time. From what you’ve described in dealing with multiple children’s sleep across ages and developmental needs, you may be best served connecting with one our consultants who can help you develop a sleep plan for your baby and toddler, both of whom could likely be in the midst of developmental or regressive sleep disruptions. Click here to learn more about our consultants and please consider one of our email consultations:https://www.babysleepsite.com/about Hang in there, Melissa.

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