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Do you want more sleep?   Yes! I need more sleep.

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  1. Lola says

    Ok… today has got to be the most longest day ever. I don’t even know what to classify this as. I have a 3.5 month old. Woke up at 7am as usual. First nap is usually about an hr later 8am, (we started this bed time at 6 weeks based on his tired cues) as he wants to go to bed at that time.

    But for the past two days, he has been resisting going to bed at 8am. Today he fussed and cried and refused to go to bed. Eventually I had to bring up his 2nd nap up early as he was already dozing on his own at 10:40am after being up for over 3 hrs!!!

    He woke up at 1:20pm and has ever since refused his last nap..He keeps crying from being tired, he also wants to feed as well, which I dutifuly oblidge. But then I tried putting him to bed 2 hrs later after waking up as putting him to bed earlier (1hr 30 mins) isn’t really working. But he keeps refusing. Now it’s over 3.5 hrs, still refusing to go down even after calming him down and blacking out the room.

    Issue now is, he has just dozed off on his own whilst lying down the bed and it’s not even pitch black in the room.

    P.s: he was getting to sleep on his own after nap routine of lullaby and then put him to bed to sleep.

    Same with bedtime. After the routine, he falls asleep on his own after lullaby.

    Now this week, he seems to be fussing a bit more than usual.

    Please help! How do I get him to sleep on his own again, as I don’t like long crying and all of that.

    • Danielle says

      Hi Lola,
      Thank you for using The Baby Sleep Site as a resource. I’m sorry to hear you’re running into the 4 month regression a little early – it can be exhausting! Many babies will stop napping regularly for a short period of time during a regression, growth spurt, or when they’re learning a new skill. It can be hard to get through in the moment, but it almost always improves within a week or two. You might like our article on sleep coaching, which you can start around 4 months-old, and which includes no- and low-cry methods: https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/sleep-training-from-no-cry-to-cry-series-part-1/
      I hope this helps, and good luck!

  2. DeAnna says

    What is the reason for waiting to train until the regression passes? How does one know when it actually has passed?

    • Neosha says

      @DeAnna – Thank you for stopping by our sleepy little village and for reading! We generally make this flexible suggestion since your baby’s “worsened” sleep or newly “bad” sleep is quite literally out of their control so adding in teaching them a new skill during this time may lead to longer training and/or more frustration for both you and your baby. And the 4 month sleep regression doesn’t really “pass” unfortunately – you all just settle in to the new way your baby sleeps. I hope this helps, DeAnna. Please keep reading!

      • Elliot Whitehead says

        Hi Neosha, we’re in this situation at the moment with our 4 month old..if it’s suggested to wait until the regression passes but then you say it doesn’t really pass, isnt that somewhat conflicting..i.e. how do we know when is a good time to start sleep training? For the last 4 days our baby has been waking up more often at night and being harder to settle, do we start now or wait longer? Thanks!

      • Janelle Reid says

        Hi @Elliot Whitehead, thanks for your comment! I totally understand why you are asking that! I’m sorry if it seems confusing. We include this because for some babies, they do just “get it” without a ton of intervention. That is why we said watch and see what happens, but if you’re getting desperate and are ready to begin sleep training, go ahead and go for it, it is easier to start now before you are totally exhausted rather than waiting to see if you will have an issue or not. Typically for future regressions (9 months, 12 months, and so on) you can “wait them out” and remain consistent and things will get back on track in a few days/weeks. I hope this helps!

  3. Paulie says

    I’m one week away from having a 4 month old. He was starting to sleep 3-6 hour stretches at about 10 weeks but then he accidentally flipped in his arms up sleep sack from back to belly twice! He woke up screaming both times luckily and I saved him. It was terrifying! He hated being swaddled with arms in anyway but still had a strong startle reflex so we had a few sleepless nights. I tried the Merlín sleep suit and that helped for a little bit (he slept about 2-2 1/2hrs only at a time) but then at 13 weeks his sleep just got worse. So for the last 2 weeks he sleeps about 2 hrs when he first goes down, but then wakes up every 40-90 minutes. I nurse him to sleep because it was working well before but now I’m up nursing half the night. Nursing about 15 minutes every 40-90 minutes is killing me. To make things worse…. he sleeps in his bassinet at night but only naps during the day if he’s being carried. That’s gone on since birth. I go back to work in 6 weeks and can’t continue like this. I’m also worried he may be too young for sleep training?

    • Neosha says

      @Paulie – Thank you for stopping by our sleepy little village and for sharing with us. We completely feel your pain – 4 month olds are definitely tough when it comes to managing their sleep as this frustrating and exhausting sleep regression causes all sorts of havoc. We generally advise our parents that it is never too soon to start teaching your baby healthy sleeping habits and we encourage a “formal” or more strict sleep training program once your baby is at least 4 months old. When you’re ready, please consider connecting with one of our sleep consultants who will be able to get more detailed information from you and walk you step-by-step, day-by-day through this process. You can read more about our lovely ladies here:https://www.babysleepsite.com/about and our services here:https://www.babysleepsite.com/services Hang in there, Paulie!

  4. Raluca says

    My doughter has 4months and two weeks. Before she gets 4months she was sleeping all night since 9-10pm untill 08-09.00 am. Since she had 4months her nights vary:she gets up and stays awake for an hour and after that she gets back to sleep, or in another nights she wake’s up for the pacifier two or three times and quickly goes back to sleep and other times she wakes up very fussy, i hold her until she sleeps back.
    By the day she is sleeping well. She has 3-4naps. She is sleeping one hour or two by nap.
    By night she is sleeping with me in the same bed. And both day and night i help her to sleep as i walk with her in my arms.
    In this the 4months sleep regresion? Or it doesn’t start yet?

    • Janelle Reid says

      Hi @Raluca, thank you for writing to us! I am sorry you have been struggling with your daughter’s sleep. It could possibly be the regression as around this age sleep patterns begin to change. We have a free guide with tips on helping your child sleep better at night that may help. Here is the link to sign up to receive it if you are interested: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-through-night-free-ebook/
      If things don’t smooth out in a few weeks and you need more help, let us know! Our amazing sleep consultants can walk through these challenges with you and help both you and your daughter get more sleep at night. If you are interested you can view our packages online here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-toddler-sleep-consulting-services/ or you can email us directly and we can recommend a specific package for you at [email protected]
      Hang in there! I am sorry you are struggling and hope this helps!

      • Raluca says

        Thank you very much for your answer. I would have another question if you would be nice to answer me.
        Meanwhile she turned 5month and the situation is the same. So I’m thinking to aplly a sleeping training method.
        At this time i help her to sleep by walking with her in the room with pacifier. It take me by 5-15minutes to help her to sleep.
        In the first i would like to weaning her by the pacifier. So, the question is:first should I get ridder of the pacifier by continuing helping her to sleep by walking with her in the room? Or should I start directly with sleep training without a pacifier?
        Tkank you!

      • Janelle Reid says

        Hi @Raluca, I’m sorry the issues are still going on but at least you are able to know it is something that will need a plan of action. The way you choose to proceed is going to be up to you so my piece of advise is to stay consistent with your plan and to give it time. Here is an article to help with your decision for the pacifier. https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/pacifier-weaning-stop-baby-toddler-how-when/
        Hang in there!

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  6. Maleagiso Cecilia Ntlatseng says

    Good day, my baby girl is 14 weeks, and she’s rubbing her gums with her tongue, does is mean she can be teething

    • Janelle Reid says

      Hi @Maleagiso Cecilia Ntlatseng, thanks for your comment! All babies are so different! It could be possible she’s teething (once it starts you may feel like she’s constantly teething for about 2 years with breaks here and there) or she’s just found her tongue. 🙂 Enjoy your sweet girl!

  7. P says

    My little one just turned 16 weeks, and just started his 4 month sleep regression. We are going to start sleep training him. But nobody will give me an answer to this question: do we need to transfer him to his own room?
    I would have no problem with this, as long as it will help him to sleep better.

    • Neosha says

      @P – Thank you for stopping by our sleepy little village and for commenting. I completely understand your frustration about the sometimes impossibility of finding 1 answer to what seems to be 1 simple question – we try to keep things as simple as possible here. The answer to this is “It’s entirely up to you!” 🙂 Some do while some work on sleep first before transferring to their own room and some never transfer to their own room, so whatever works for your family is what you should do as long as it’s done safely. If you’d like any help managing that transition or working on room-sharing with your little one while sleep coaching, we’re here to help! Feel free to connect with one of our consultants at any time:https://www.babysleepsite.com/services I hope this helps, and please keep reading!

  8. Joanna says

    My daughter is 4.5 months old. She has not been a good sleeper, preferring to sleep on me, since the very night she was born. At about 3 months, she went from a not-great sleeper, to a very bad one. She would sleep 45 minutes in her bed and then wake up as soon as I put her down for the remainder of the night. I assumed she was going through the 4 month sleep regression early. When she turned 4 months old, I started doing pickup/put down with her and it worked wonders. We had been doing that with a good degree of success for about 10 days, when all of a sudden she started desperately wanting to be nursed to sleep and waking every 2-2.5 hours. This has gone on for the last 2 nights and now I don’t know whether to be more strict with her or cut her some slack. I thought she had already regressed but if this is actually it, do I keep forging ahead with the pick up/put down? I don’t want to be cruel but I do want to get her sleep back on track. Thanks in advance!

    • Janelle Reid says

      Hi @Joanna! Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment – I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling the effects of the 4 month sleep regression! It is a rough one and I do hope things level out soon, especially with you being consistent with sleep training her. If the issues persist, or you find you’re getting closer to the end of your rope, let us know! We have an amazing team of sleep consultants here that can help figure out what the issue is if it’s not regression related. Hang in there and I hope this passes quickly!

  9. Sarah says

    My daughter just turned 4 months. She was the only child I have that would sleep close to 12 hours at night and wake up one time for a feeding. Now She’s up 6-7 times at night and only napping 15-25 minutes every other hour or so. I’m a mother of 4. My youngest 2 are 11 months apart. Something has got to give. ?????

    • Nicole Johnson says

      @Sarah I’m so sorry to hear your daughter is waking so much at night. You are not alone and we get a lot of parents here around this same time! Waking up so much at night is certainly exhausting. We are happy to help and welcome you to contact us any time!

  10. Stacey says


    My little one is 3.5 months old she us a good sleeper at night waking twice in the night from 9pm – 7am. But I can not get her to slef sooth at all. She fights sleep and just screams when she is over tierd. Her dad and I have to constantly rock her to sleep. In the day her naps and very short and fragmented it doesn’t matter where she sleep it won’t be for long. I don’t know how much more I can take. It breaks my heart listening to get cry like that but I get so frustrated when she just won’t sleep!
    Thank you.

    • Nicole Johnson says

      @Stacey I’m sorry to hear your 3 1/2 month old is having trouble falling asleep at night. You’re certainly not alone and we’d be happy to help! At The Baby Sleep Site, we believe in helping babies learn how to sleep before we expect them to necessarily be able to do it alone. We are all moms and want to limit crying as much as possible. There are gentle methods you can use to help her learn how to fall asleep without being rocked. You may be interested in learning about gentle sleep coaching techniques. We have some articles around the blog you are free to peruse, but it may be faster simply to get one of our sleep plans or review some of our case studies, audio recordings, or day-by-day plans in our Members Area where you can also chat live with a sleep consultant. Let me know if you would like more information about that at all or feel free to contact us directly here: https://www.babysleepsite.com/contact Hang in there!! We know how hard this is.